I, Me and Media!

Slutwalking in India and the besharmi of it all...

2011-07-23T21:02:00.005+05:30

Cambridge dictionary's defines ‘slut’ as a woman who has sexual relationships with a lot of men without any emotional involvement. Now think of the word ‘slut’ that regularly is used as an abuse. What is wrong if a woman wants to live life this way? Why should she be subjected to such a judgement? Who are the people calling her a slut? Where did the meaning develop? The answers to this question pretty much determine the genesis of the word.

I dislike the word not because of what it denotes but because of the way it is used. The word slut has stopped bothering me now. At the end of the day, it is a choice made by a woman to live life the way she wants to. I hate it that that her personal choice carries along with it so much hate, disgust and humiliation that it makes so many of us cringe. It also makes so many of us be on our toes all the time lest anyone regards us as one. Besides, why should there be pressure on a woman to prove the whole world that she is not a slut? This is just another way of curtailing a woman's sexuality. There lies a very close association with the so-called sluttishness and then the following justification if she undergoes violence. It is like saying.... Be a slut and violence will follow. So, better toe the line.

Given this context, ‘Slutwalk’ does sound revolutionary. It definitely is. But then I guess it is not for everyone. I also wonder if the idea of ‘Slutwalk’ in India works for me.

Ever since I read about Slutwalks, I have been confused about my stand regarding it. My first reaction was that of discomfort. Discomfort not just with the term but about the idea in general. But then I did find myself agreeing with everything they stood for. Why this discomfort? The answers weren’t easy.

Firstly I found the campaign to be reactionary. Also for better or worse consists of only women from an upper middle class English speaking background. Now there is nothing wrong with this target group starting something. But it definitely is problematic when the issue just becomes an issue of that class alone.

So what is slutwalk all about? Where did it start from? Slutwalk has its origin in Canada where a policeman in a speech asked women to not dress like sluts in order to avoid violence.

“Slutwalk might be one of the more provocatively named events of 2011, but that's the whole point. Founded shortly after a police officer participating in a safety forum at York University's Osgoode Hall remarked that "women should avoid dressing like sluts in order not to be victimized," the protest seeks to re-appropriate a term that has been used historically not just to limit and stigmatize female sexuality, but as a rationalization for sexual assault.”
More here and here.

In Canada, the police officer told women to not dress like sluts if they wanted to avoid violence. In India, people tell us to dress ‘decently’ in order to avoid molestation and rape. Dressing indecently doesn’t always mean dressing like a slut. Dressing like a slut comes much later. It can also mean pushing the boundaries of being a good girl, just a bit. So, why is this important? This is important because of the major difference in the way the word ‘slut’ —in all its regional variations—is used in India and in other countries.

It is not when you are dressed as a slut that you are molested or raped. “Good girls” from “good families” with no trace of dressing like a slut are molested too. School girls wearing uniforms, Muslim girls wearing burkha, women wearing salwar kameez, baggy pants and loose shirts get molested too. Yes, a slut gets molested too, so does a prostitute. There is no discrimination here! So it is not just when you are dressed as a slut that you are molested, you are molested if you are a girl/woman. It is as simple as that! Given this context, the very word ‘slutwalk’ seems very limiting. If the victim were ‘sluts’ alone, then ‘besharmi morcha’ makes so much sense. But since the victims are not sluts alone, what do they plan to do then? How does being besharam help? What is the point of all this ‘besharmi’? The whole thing just seems like a very direct import from the West. As Tamura A. Lomax, a black feminist says in this very well writtenblog post that, the need to want the freedom to dress the way we want is a demand made by women in privileged positions. Indeed, to proudly claim oneself a “slut” (meaning, to boldly and explicitly claim one’s sexual liberty), with little to no socio-political consequence, is (sort of) a privilege—Lomax.

My right to public space is denied to me NOT because I am a slut but because I am a woman. And I want to demand my right to a safe public space as a woman and that includes rights of sluts too. There are many things that are denied to me because I am a woman. So, basically the struggle is to reclaim all my rights as a woman and that encompasses rights of a good girl, rights of a bad girl, and rights of a “slut” among many others. For me the fight is to be treated as a human being. The situation in Canada is considerably different from that in India. If I dare say so, their fights and struggles are not as basic as it is here. Our daily fight is for the world to consider us a HUMAN BEING worthy of living a life. As Lomax says: “This reality, which significantly impacts African American women and girls’ day-to-day experiences, makes it difficult to fight for “slut-hood,” particularly when one is still demanding to be seen as a full-fledged person with innate dignity and worth.”

The thing is, if a girl is molested, she would be advised not to roam out at night alone. Case in point being the Delhi police commissioner who advises women in Delhi not to roam at night all alone. Not always are woman chided for being’ besharam’. Is the ‘besharmi morcha’ going to address these attitudes or is it just about the freedom to dress the way they like? I am not implying that freedom to dress is trivial. I really wish I could dress the way I want to without having to worry about people, setting and countless other things. But then when one talks about that without factoring in various other social realities, the whole exercise just seems like a blind import from the West without contextualization. The use of words like sluts, or besharmi would I am afraid alienate a lot of people because not everyone would want to be considered a ‘besharam’ to just walk on the road freely. This is a struggle that is common across womenfolk. But ‘besharmi morcha’ doesn’t seem like addressing that. It is self-defeating if it doesn’t unify women who more or less face the same problem across the society.

Oh yes, the girls will get media attention for sure. ‘Sluttishness’ is sexy! Dressing slutty will definitely make for sexy images on page 1 or page 3. It will make for a sexy copy too! But then, what beyond that? Will it address the issue in a deeper way? In my opinion, the issue should be to address issues of street sexual harassment, safety of women in streets, reclaiming public space for women in a holistic way. How do the organisers of the ‘besharmi morcha’ even plan on doing that?

Recent interviews by the organisers have them clarifying again and again that women can dress in whatever clothes they feel like and that there is no pressure to wear anything skimpy. Now what is the point of calling it besharmi morcha? *puzzled*

The campaign (with all its contradictions) is at best a shock raising event. I guess, at the end of the day, even they play a role in a city that is notorious towards women.

Also, NO WOMAN ever asks for it!

Is it possible to be proud of one's Brahmin roots?

2011-07-03T11:58:00.000+05:30

This post made me revisit a dilemma I have had for quite some time now. I will revisit my dilemma later on. First of all, I want to respond to this post. In this post Rahul Pandita, a journalist, talks about his Brahmin-ness and wonders why he should not feel proud about his Brahmin roots and culture.
It is important to understand the caste hierarchy. Brahmins, as we all know, occupy the topmost position in the hierarchy. Their position that they enjoy and have enjoyed over a period of years is also based on severe oppression of lower castes. Simply put, one is not a Brahmin just like that. The position of that of a Brahmin cannot be without oppression. To put it very simply, Brahmins became possessors of knowledge purely on the basis of exclusion. Because of the position they enjoyed, they could conveniently exclude people who were non-Brahmins and their power also could be sustained by centuries of exclusion. It still continues. I haven’t seen many non-Brahmin priests. It is still the domain of Brahmins. So what are we saying, when one says, “I am proud of Brahmin culture.” Can we be proud of a culture that has evolved under conditions of having oppressed such a large majority? I definitely don’t think so. Culture cannot be devoid of politics. Culture that evolved then was also an outcome of political economy of that given period. Thus, it cannot be viewed in isolation of this historic background. It is important to know and understand under what conditions the cultural practices originated from.

Rahul Pandita is a Kashmiri Pandit. Their history of displacement has been very painful to say the least. It just appears to me that he has taken recourse to his culture as a response to being a victim of displacement. Taking recourse to one's culture is a very common way of connecting to one's roots especially in the face of physical displacement. The history of caste oppression of Dalits has been happening across centuries and cannot even be compared to the displacement of Kashmiri Pandits. Their history of oppression existed long before the displacement of Kashmiri Pandits. That is why I think Kashmiri Brahmin culture cannot be contextualised without taking into account the centuries' old oppression of the Dalits. Feeling sorry for the Dalits is futile if one doesn't take into account that their condition is very deeply connected to the Brahmin culture.

Recently, there has been a website that has been famously frequented by many Tamil Brahmins. It is called the TamBrahm RageTambrahm rage. It is a site where Tamil Brahmins collectively make fun of all things Tam Brahm. When I checked out TamBrahm Rage, I experienced mixed reactions. When I go through Tam Brahm rage, I feel an acute discomfort when I see people laughing at all the jokes and the rituals. That is because I often wonder if they are just mocking or actually being critical of the entire thing? But even as I say this, I also laugh at the same jokes that that I am being critical of right now. That is because I think there are some things I have no control over. For instance, my upbringing. And it does have a major influence on things I do relate to. All my life, I have seen all these practices happening all around me. It has been an inevitable part of my growing up and my reality. I have never bothered to join the innumerable Tam Brahm groups on various social networking sites as I find it absolutely ridiculous to talk at a platform where the main reason of association is that of being a Brahmin. But then, I do frequent Tam Brahm rage sometimes because it does consist of some (of the many) questions I asked in my childhood which were left unanswered. Many of which are also ultimately responsible for my disregard to Brahminism as a whole.

The issue of personal identity is a very complex one. While I don’t consider myself as a Brahmin per se, I am one by default, in terms of my upbringing; in terms of certain privileges I have enjoyed being one. While I consciously do not associate myself with the identity of being a Brahmin and its associated rituals, I wonder if I can be away from it at all? Ideally I would want the destruction of the entire caste system and the annihilation of caste identity. But then, I also wearily sometimes wonder, is it possible?

Can one really separate culture from the oppressive conditions it thrived in? Carnatic classical music has been a preserve of only Brahmins till now. This clearly means that Brahmins would have isolated everyone outside of their community in the spread of the art. No wonder we only have Brahmin performers ruling the roost. But then, I love Carnatic music very much. I often wonder where I stand. I often wonder if I can ever enjoy it without these confusions in my head.

An open letter to Rajan Welukar

2010-10-04T19:38:00.000+05:30

Dr Rajan Welukar, they claim you are the vice chancellor. But I think that is paying you too much of a compliment. You are just a first rate coward! So you decide to ban Rohinton Mistry’s Such a long journey because some thugs decided that Mistry offended Bal Thackeray! Brilliant stuff! Kudos for caving in to the demands of the thugs!

Co incidentally, I am reading a beautiful book right now- Reading Lolita in Tehran a book by Azar Nafisi. It is a sheer co-incidence that it was only two days ago that I read a chapter where she talks about how she dealt with a situation where books were being banned left, right and centre in Iran in the 80s as they were accused of propagating ‘Western’ values, values which were decadent enough to corrupt the youth. She later talks about how she puts the novel, the Great Gatsby on trial in her class because of few opinionated students in her class who want the book banned.

“Was it necessary to put this book on trial? I was somewhat taken aback. Did he want me to throw the book aside without so much as a word in its defense?” (An excerpt)

I am not asking you to conduct a trial. But have you even read the book? I am sure you haven’t. So why do you really want to ban a book? How does it help to ban a book? Why didn’t the students get any chance to give their opinion? Do you think they are not capable of having an opinion or do they really not matter at all in the given scheme of things? Am I asking for too much? Did you even ask the teachers what they thought of the book? I am asking this because you seem to have effected this ban by bypassing the academic council. You only chose to hear one puny section of the student (?!) group and decided to act. It is appalling that a vice chancellor of a university which is 150 years old chooses to act in such a cowardly fashion. It is not just cowardly, it is also chauvinistic. By not taking into account the opinion of any other the groups associated with education per se, you have exhibited totalitarian attitude.

And that was Iran where it happened. India I think despite all its problems is still a democracy. I am not shocked by Shiv Sena’s acts. They have acted according to what is expected of them. But what message does a university send when it caves down to empty threats like these?

It saddens me to see not a whiff of protest either from the student community or the teachers’ community. It reflects the sad talibanisation of our society, a society that is marred by fear and apathy.

So, what next? Which other group’s pathetic ego do you plan to appease next? What are you planning to do? Do you have a list of dos and donts that a novel should follow in order to be considered to be taught in your esteemed university.

I used to be a student of this university once. I feel very sad when I look at it now, in its current state. Mumbai University is dead and I mourn its demise.

I end my piece by again quoting these lines from Reading Lolita in Tehran. Such a long journey was this and a lot more!

A good novel is one that shows the complexity of individuals, and creates enough space for all these characters to have a voice; in this way a novel is called democratic-not that it advocates democracy but that by nature it is so.

Sincerely,
Shobha S V

P.S. Oh I just came across this. Some hope!

Should writing be a task to finish?

2010-03-15T17:08:00.001+05:30

Quite occasionally, I read the weekly column by Soumya Bhattacharya on his experiences being a parent to his daughter Oishi. I read his column on 14th March, Pre-Emptive action in Hindustan Times and wrote to him. Following are my observations :-)

Hello Mr Bhattacharya,

I read your column with lot of interest every week. Your column on 14th March, 2010 was very interesting. I have many things to share with you.

Firstly I am very critical of the mainstream education system. It saddens me to see writing given as a task. By making creative writing a task somehow obliterates the love for it. It is a sure shot way of kicking joy away. Don’t you think?

The pedagogic system and parent-child relationship have one common feature- the desire for approval. Let me explain. When the child is given a task, the task is given by someone who is in a superior power relation as compared to a child. It can be a parent or a teacher. The child is acutely aware of this lop-sided power relation. Therefore there comes a need for the child to please the person in power by fulfilling the task that has been given. You see, in this process the whole idea of the creative activity is lost. Creativity is just for one’s own self. I do understand that artists too need their audience. But should this need to please others be inscribed at such a young age? Should one inculcate the desire to find gratification in one’s own work through seeking approval from others at such a young age?

The hierarchy and the resultant unequal power equations in the education system (between the teacher and the child) and in the family (between the parent and the child) bother me. I think the power over the other manifests itself in this need for approval that we all seek and have sought at one stage or the other. I think children need to be left alone to do things that they want to do, that they wish to do. Besides, it is definitely not easy to state an opinion in a way that doesn’t come across as evaluation of the same. Only when this need for approval and evaluation goes away can the boundaries between the teacher and a child disappear (in terms of hierarchy) and can they both learn and discover things together. This applies to parent-child relationship too. Only then will a child realise that human beings are all fallible in nature. Only then as you mentioned in your last column, will the children not feel astonished when they find that their parent often doesn’t know everything. I think the disappointment of parents not being super human beings can vanish if parents and child learn an activity (that is new to both of them) together.

Besides I feel your daughter needs all the praise from your side. Small slips are always pardonable. The mistakes should never over shadow the creative work that the child has come up with. I do understand the anxiety of a parent regarding dispraise that the child can face. But then sadly that is the system we live in. I really don’t have an answer for that dilemma.

Keep writing.

Regards,

Shobha S V

What's in a name? Lots says Bombay High Court

2010-03-10T15:07:00.003+05:30

Ok, this is going to be a rant.

I came across this article and yea I am irritated! Apparently divorced women cannot use their ex-husbands' name. If there is no legal compulsion on a woman to change her name after marriage, why should there be any compulsion on her to change her name if her marriage ends? Why can't she have the freedom to choose? Why should there even be an option available only for a woman to change her last name post marriage is something that totally puzzles me. But then I'm reminded of being in a patriarchal society...blah blah and blah!

The whole idea that a woman's identity is totally related to presence of absence of men in her life is so problematic. Currently there is a move to disqualify the citizenship of a Kashmiri woman in case she marries a non-Kashmiri person. To know more...read this and this . I hope that this bill is opposed tooth and nail. It is a big problem if a democratic state treats its women as someone devoid of any independent identity of her own.

WTF!

2009-08-29T14:59:00.002+05:30

This is ridiculous. I just don't have any other words for it.

An appeal for your support

A very strange time is upon us…
Very recently, TATA Sons filed a case against us (oktatabyebye.com) in infringement of their TATA name (as our domain name contains the 'TATA' word!). Tata Sons has contended that it is confusingly similar to its 'Tata' brand and the travel portal runner has no rights or legitimate interests to use it. The company had argued that the site infringed the right of its registered trademark/service mark 'Tata'.

What is even more ridiculous is the fact that TATAs actually won this case.

And in a decision by a sole panelist, ownership of the domain OkTataByeBye.com has been awarded to TATA by WIPO (World Intellectual Property Organization) Arbitration and Mediation Centre.

This is taking the whole idea of copyright infringement to another (stupid) level altogether. What next? Are they planning to sue every one of us for uttering TATA without their permission?

Meena Mami-2

2009-08-13T23:54:00.005+05:30

Hello world :-)
It seems so good to be back here. I was away all this while because I just did not feel like blogging anymore. It was one long break. However, the urge to communicate in this space has come back and I'm glad to be here once again. So many things have happened ever since I blogged last. But then let's not delve into that. Ever since I decided I want to blog again I kept wondering what should be my comeback post. Something happened few days ago that made my decision very easy. I was convinced that I have to write about it because there is a small connection with my blog. I don't know how many of my old blogger friends, acquaintances who would read my latest post. But does anybody remember this ? For all the new readers here, please do read this, otherwise the following post wouldn't make any sense.

Circa 2004...
It is amazing but I got to meet Meena Mami just few months after having made this entry.
(I still remember that I wanted to write about the incident but laziness took the better of me). Out of the blue, one day my father told me about how his common friend mentioned about Meena Mami coming to Bombay to meet a relative. I was so excited hearing about the news and I couldn't believe that I was getting a chance to meet her just months after having written the post. That was quick! I got the details of the relative and went to meet her. Before meeting I did call her and she stood outside the door waiting for me. It was wonderful meeting her after
such a long time. Mami thought I had changed quite a lot and we began catching up with our lives. Meanwhile I also called up Lalitha who spoke to Meena Mami after more than 15 years. It was amazing. Pieces of the jigsaw puzzle were finally falling in place. However we still had to find Bablu.

Circa 2005...
Later I got busy with my graduation, work and other things in life that searching for Bablu was put on a backburner. Then in 2005, Lalitha came back to be my neighbour once again...after 17 long years and it was just as it was before :-) During that time we realised that even though we were in touch with Meena Mami, we still did not know anything about Bablu. It is only after this that we both began a search for him. Till then funnily enough both of us (me and Lalitha) did not know his official name. We never needed to know, he was always Bablu for us. We later learnt that Bablu's official name was Vijay Raghavan. Wow! This news was enough for us to find him online in this age of Internet (or so I thought). We began our search for him immediately. I searched for him on Orkut and of course, Google. We still couldn't find him. Most of the Vijay Raghavans we found were younger than me. Finally we found one person whom I thought could be him. He was from Bombay. I discussed about this exciting possibility with Lalitha. When we figured out his age from the online records, it hit us that he was 35 which couldn't have been possible even in 2005. Our online search also hit a dead end. Sigh! :-( After then, we always wondered where Bablu would be. We wondered if he ever searched for us. However there were no answers. We left it at that. However somewhere deep down I just knew that we would all meet again. The only question was 'when' for which I had no answer.

2009...
Even though me and Lalitha knew about the whereabouts of Meena Mami, I was not in frequent touch with her though we did speak over the phone couple of times. Lalitha was more regular, thankfully. She used to talk to her quite often and I used to get updates from her. After 2004, I couldn't meet Meena Mami even once. But the very fact that I knew that she was fine kept me satisfied. After 2004, Meena Mami lived in Noida, in Chennai and host of other places before settling down in an old age home in Sringeri in Tamil Nadu. Last month I came to know that Mami would be in Delhi in the month of July. I did not have Mami's contact number and Lalitha told me that she would be contacting me once I reach Delhi by July end. I got a call two days ago and I set out to meet her. This time I met her after 5 whole years. I noticed that Meena Mami had aged even further. Rather than salt and pepper hair, Mami now possesses silver grey hair. We began talking and the subject of Bablu came up again. We again spoke about how sad it was not to know a single detail about Bablu. Then I asked her, "Mami, is Bablu's full name Vijay Raghavan?" She replied in affirmative. "So his father's name was Raghavan?", I asked. "No, his dad's name is Parthsarathy." "Oh so his name is Vijayraghavan Parthasarathy. Ohhhh!" It suddenly hit me that we never knew his correct full name. We had assumed it wrongly. All this while we had searched for Bablu using a wrong name! This information brought a smile on my face since I realised that it would be easier for us to search for him again.

I went online and I began searching for Vijayaraghavan Parthasarathy. I thought not many people would have a name like this. But no, I was sorely mistaken. I found close to 10 people by the same name. I wondered who would Bablu be among this. I surfed through people's profiles and found that they did not quite match Bablu's probable description. Finally I landed on a page which was out of bounds for me. But I could still see the guy's communities and I decided to send him a message. I also found a guy on Facebook and I pinged him as well. During this process I did wonder if I would be successful in my attempt. Subsequently I got back to my work. After about 15 minutes I refreshed my Orkut page and I saw that this Orkut fellow had added me. I wondered why. Within a moment I saw his scrap on my page and I couldn't believe what I had seen on the page...."This is Bablu, the same. I have been looking out for ways to contact Meena Mami so long. After we moved to a different place we lost contact. When we did go back all we were told was she moved to Delhi. PLease give me your phone no. Where do you live? How are ur parents. I live in USA. I will be waiting for your reply."

I kept staring at the screen and still couldn't believe it. The other contents of the scrap convinced me that he can't be an imposter. The jigsaw puzzle pieces had finally fallen in place. It was amazing :-) I had found Bablu...finally!!!! It took me few moments to register this. I immediately called Lalitha. She was on another call. I kept calling her. Finally when she did answer, I screamed....."We have found Bablu!!!!" Lalitha was dumb stuck and her reaction was quite thanda! All she could say was, "Yea? How?" I explained to her. She did not appear to be very convinced. Meanwhile I added Bablu on my messenger and hoped and waited he would come online. After an hour he did come and then called me. At 1 am, me, Bablu and Lalitha had a telephonic conference. Oh...it was just unbelievable. Bablu couldn't believe it and neither could we. Meena Mami could finally talk to Bablu. Bablu had tried hard to trace Mami, but sadly was
unsuccessful. He had not tried searching for us...hehe! He admits that he did not think about that :-) But we did the needful and here we are...all back in touch again :D This is such a filmy story....This is my Yaadon ki Baarat!!! Ismein drama hain, emotions hain, bacche bichadte hain....phir 20 saal baad milte hain... too much :D When we finally did meet Bablu, we found him married with a kid. Bablu promptly called Meena Mami the next day. For Mami, this was a shock and such a pleasant shock at that :-) When I spoke to her later, she couldn't believe how quickly everything happened. Bablu gave her contact details to his parents and even they got in touch with her. My parents and Lalitha's parents still can't believe that we found Bablu. It is tough for them to realise that world is indeed such a small place for people of our generation :-)

Come to think of it, if only I had asked the correct question of Bablu's father's name few years before, the reunion would have happened long time ago. But it's all good now. Better late than never :-) Many people ask me in wonderment how I can remember incidents when I was so young? Well, even though I don't remember everything, I do have vivid memories of certain things. Besides I was showered with lots of love that I have a good feeling whenever I think of those days (despite memories being hazy)

Currently, the reunion has still not happened in its entiriety. We are all waiting for Bablu's visit to India so that we all could go and meet Meena Mami together :-) Now that'll be one filmy pic :-) YAYY!!!

Open letter to Mumbai top-cop Jadhav

2008-01-02T22:03:00.000+05:30

Dear Mr Jadhav,
I just saw you on TV. It was quite an enlightening experience. I did not know molestation was a small thing. Hmmm...that's news to me. I did not have an inkling about that.

You see, I am quite dumb. I did not have a clue of how your yardstick works.I did not realise how small the crime is before you clarified it. You know, I am molested quite often on roads. In fact many of us are. But well, now I know, it is such a small thing. We will definitely ignore these occurances from now on because we know how small and insignificant it is.

So Mr Jadhav, tell me one thing. How do you classify various crimes? Is attempt to murder a small thing? Well, i assume since it is just an attempt, it will be small. the deed's not done as yet, right? Tell me, what do you think it needs to classify molestation as a big crime? Will you wait for the rape to happen to classify it as a big one? Do you wait for the deed to be done?

I am eagerly waiting for your reply. I don't know if you will ever read this. But I will try my level best to get the message across.

Regards,
Shobha

I just kept staring at the TV screen. My first reaction was of absolute shock and disbelief. Later anger took over followed by helplessness. Mr Jadhav, you shock me completely and I am ashamed of you.

How can you classify molestation of 2 girls by a mob of 70-80 scum (I refuse to call them men) as small? I really want to know your yardstick because I really don't get it. I can't believe that this man is the commissioner of police of Mumbai. He is responsible for the safety of the citizens out of which half of them are women. WOW!

I quite agree with Mr Jadhav, molestations happen everywhere. But what doesn't happen everywhere is your reaction to it. Unfortunately not everyone can be as clinical as you are. You have no right to dismiss it as just another small case. Your primary responsiblity is the safety of every citizen in the city. Now that everyone knows how miserably you failed in the duty, at least have the grace to accept the mistake. I know how capable you are especially since this is a repeat of what happened last year in Gateway of India.

Continuous exposure to various kinds of crime on a daily basis can make anyone a tad indifferent. One tends to become immune to even the most serious of crimes. I say this because, being a journalist, one experiences the same. Many friends of mine who cover crime, talk of
rapes, murders as if they are discussing prices of vegetables. Well, we can't do anything about it. However, as a commissioner of police, one needs to be extra cautious. You should never let the cynicism affect you. You have no business being cynical and insensitive. This post comes with some responsibility and Its your responsiblity to ensure safety of every citizen. The numbers don't matter. You should be careful enough to note that the crimes aren't just bland statistics for
you.

I am in talks with many friends who are completely outraged by this man's comment. For starters, please write an open letter to Jadhav in your blog. Some of them want to file a PIL against this man too. Many of us are also looking at filing an official complaint with the
Maharashtra State Women's Commission against this man. Only if action is taken at the top, will the bottom rung understand that molestation is NOT A SMALL THING. I will definitely post about the developments here. Keep watching this space. Besides, if you have any ideas, please keep them coming :)

Looking forward for it.

Bhutto killed!!!!

2007-12-27T19:57:00.000+05:30

I really don't know what to type here. I'm just shocked completely after seeing the news bulletin of Benazir Bhutto's death. It's just so sad to see how unstable Pakistan is politically....

Harry Potter

2007-12-20T21:41:00.000+05:30

Like zillion others, I love the Harry Potter series. I think J K Rowling has created such a beautiful world that it tempts me to be a part of it every time I read any of the books.
I recently finished re-reading all the seven books back to back and I fell in love with the series all over again. I've always been a sucker for fantasy. However, it's an irony that I hadn't read a single book pertaining to the genre of fantasy before Harry Potter. Of course I was a great fan of magic series that used to be broadcasted everyday in Sony Entertainment Television almost a decade ago. I dream of Genie, Bewitched were my favourites. I was also a big fan of Alice in Wonderland too. Such was my craze that whenever I was at a receiving end of a punishment from a teacher, I would pray hard that I possess powers enough to turn the teacher into a donkey. Alas, that never happened. Sigh!

Ok, I digress. One of the main reasons for writing this post was this article. I wanted to blog about it couple of months back, but couldn't, thanks to my laziness. Suffice to say Dumbledore is one of my favourite characters of the book. When I read that he was gay, the first thought that stuck me was why did JKR announce it after the launch of the 7th book and not include it in the story. It kind of angered me because as a ardent reader of the series, I kind of felt cheated. Why add details after the launch of the book when you haven't bothered to include it in the story. I know, many of you will think that Dumbledore being gay has got nothing to do with the story and that it doesn't make any difference. However, I disagree. The whole last half of Book-7 talks about Dumbledore's intense friendship with Grindelwald. The intense friendship going horribly wrong lead to many things including Dumbledore's refusal to inform Harry about the Deathly Hallows and many other plot twists. Rather than mentioning intense friendship, she might as well could have said passionate love affair. I wonder what's the big deal about it. Personally I think, it would have made the series so honest and human. What is the point in shying away from such stuff?

However, this incident did irritate me because I think its hypocritical when authors push issues like homosexuality under carpet or camoflage it by using euphemisms. There are umpteen number of fan sites related to Harry Potter. It just shows the kind of fan following the Harry Potter,series has. People share intimate relationships with several characters, Dumbledore being one of the main ones. It is funny that when she has gone ahead and mentioned love stories of Harry-Ginny, Snape, Ron-Hermione, Tonks-Lupin, and various other characters, why did she not talk about Dumbledore's relationship openly? Did she think that by mentioning Dumbledore's sexuality, the fan following would have been affected?

But, all said and done, I love the series and can't thank JK Rowling enough for the delightful read. Sometimes I think, how can we ever repay some musicians, authors, cartoonists and other artistes who give so much happiness through their work. I sometimes envy them for their ability to make people happy. It truly is an enviable gift :)

Goodbye

2007-12-09T21:28:00.000+05:30

I have never been very comfortable with poems. I hardly read any. Though off late, I enjoy reading Neha's poems. Couple of days back, I came across this blog by Shreyasi and I read Homecoming. The poem took me back to the memory lane and then I came up with Goodbye.

I think Shreyasi's written a beautiful poem and it deserves a mention again :)

Homecoming

I will leave when you sleep
Quietly, on tip-toes

I will slowly fold the morning light
Wrap the pale sun around me
Push the chill with a coat brush

I will stop for a while to catch a last glimpse
Of sights I have always seen
Or one made uniquely for me

And when am gone
I will wish that you wake up
To see the crease on the armchair seat

I will look down from the porthole
Poring over the matchbox city
To find you in the lap of the beautiful sea

I will leave when you sleep
Quietly, on tip-toes

I'm actually a bit scared for I have never posted a poem before. Please do read the following and leave behind your comments. I need a frank opinion :) Let me know what you think... :)

Goodbye

Blissfully asleep
Deep in my dreams
Completely unaware...that you are leaving.

I think you look at me
Affectionately
and wish you could talk to me
But you go away.

And then when I wake up
My eyes search for you
And I chuckle,
For I know
Playing a game, we are
You remain cleverly hidden.

I ask Amma,
Tells me you've left.
Angry I am
You did not tell me
I rush towards the door
In a hope to see you walking by
but the door knob I can't open...
I sit down and cry
Unable to grapple with my helplessness
I've always hated goodbyes.

Bangalore, Home and other musings

2007-11-29T21:23:00.000+05:30

WOW....it's been one year in Bangalore. I find it difficult to believe it myself. Having never been away from home in my life before, this is a bit special for me. I never really thought I will live and work in another city. For someone who's never left home ever, this is definitely a small but a significant milestone of my life.

Bangalore was always my second home for me with some of my favourite people residing here. It used to be a regular summer vacation adda. However, nothing could prepare me for my work experience here. I realised that my work life is going to completely alter my perspective about the city. Till I came here for work Bangalore for me was my paati's house, bunch of cousins and the time spent with them.

Reporting is such an awesome way to discover a city. I now know more about Bangalore than my paati who's been staying here for the past six decades. It's fascinating when I look back at the process of discovering the city and how it slowly starting changing the way I look at Bangalore too. I was conscious about it all the time.

Well, I went home recently after 11 long months. Phew! I can't believe it myself. This has been the longest I have been from away from home. When I went home, I noticed one thing. I think majority of people living in metropolitian areas don't really leave their homes/cities. Even if people leave, they usually go abroad (A small but a significant student population).

It was such a pleasant experience for me to go back home and see not much has changed. Yea, some friends of mine have left the city, but not everyone. It would have been quite unnerving had most of my friends left the place.

This visit back home had me thinking about lot of things. What exactly is home? Is it still home only if one's parents and friends live there? Or is it home wherever they go? Will Palakkad/Patna/Bangalore (Any random city/village) be home to me if my parents shift there? Will B'bay still be home to me if all my friends leave the place? What is it about the place that makes me call it a home? It's such a complex thing. I'm trying hard to put a finger on it. If internal migration can make me think like this, I shudder to think what it might do to people who have migrated abroad.

Is it people who make me feel at home or the language or the culture or the nostalgia? Can it be called a home even when there are no known people around? Some of my friends who left for USA or other countries for further studies come back and can't relate to half of the things back home. No, I'm not referring to their snobbery here. They come back to to see that everything has changed. The cities they lived in have changed. Gallis, Nukkads, Houses have undergone major changes. Their people have left the city. They cannot relate to anything. I wonder how traumatic it will be. Will the new place or the adopted country be home suddenly? I reckon it would be a very difficult for them to consider a new place as their new home (which is only few years old) as opposed to what was home for the past 20 odd years (that doesn't exist in the same form as they remember it)... Sigh....I think when you are not a part of the changes that happen back home, it can completely alienate you.

Some of my friends who live in smaller towns feel sad about this fact. Not just smaller towns, big cities too. When they go home, they get bored too quickly since none of their friends are present. I can't imagine being bored when I go home. When I went home last month, I realised I know far too many people there. It was just impossible to meet everyone. I wanted to see everyone though.

However, I felt nice that I still had a long list of people to meet. When I was leaving for Bangalore by an early morning train, I met so many friends and acquaintances in the railway station. I was glad that I still had people whom I could say a hello to. I still found familiar faces around. I wasn't a completely nobody. People still knew me despite of my absence for almost a year. Felt very nice.

We cling to things. Most of us resist changes, including me to a large extent. I hope some things don't change. But I know my wishes are foolhardy since the only thing that will never cease to change is change itself. I think the idea of home is constantly undergoing some change or the other. I think many of us will have different homes at various stages of life. It is tough to even imagine the inevitable thing. Sigh!

Second hand books

2007-10-18T14:46:00.000+05:30

Circa 1990s....
Me: Again second hand books? Why can't I have new ones?

Amma: Ganeshan Mama has been so kind to give us the textbooks every year. We did not even ask him. He and his wife volunteered and we couldn't refuse. It would have ben rude.

Me: But can't you just tell them that I don't like it? Arrey, I want new books ma. Why don't you understand?

Amma: Shobha, how does it matter? The books are in a very good condition. When you have such good books, what is the need to buy a new one? You can always buy other books with the same money. Tell me, don't you think the books are good?

Me: But I don't want other books, I need NEW textbooks.

Amma: Tell me, don't you think the books are in good condition?

Me: Well, yea...they are.....but.....

Amma: I think buying new books would be a waste of money. We will not spend money on something that we already have.

Me: But all my friends have new books. Only I don't have them.

Amma: Shobha, don't compare yourself with your friends. Everyone is different. Besides, is there any difference in the old and the new book? It is not as if your textbooks contain old matter in comparison to the new ones.

Me: You are being totally unfair. (I leave the room crying)

2007: SMS conversation

Me: Ok, what book you want for your b'day?

D: Give anything you want of your choice.

Me: Hmmm...ok...Will it be ok if I give u second hand books? Tell me if its alright with you. If you don't like the idea, its perfectly ok. But let me know.

D: I love second hand books.

Me: :)

From being close to tears because my parents forced me to use second hand text books in school to actively buying and gifting second hand books, I have come a full circle today. Unnecessary consumption can be stopped whenever possible. Sometimes, I realise my parents were so cool. My parents came up the hard way. The economic backgrounds of their families weren't particularly flattering during their childhood. However their lifestyles did not radically change once they started earning well. It is remarkable that they have continued with their simple lifestyle. Amma still follows the adage of 'Simple living and high thinking'. She proudly flaunts it. Hehe...

'Hand me downs' are never fun, especially when you are a kid. C'mon, whoever likes using old stuff? Not surprisingly, I always used to be at loggerheads with my parents when I was in school. Most of my school textbooks were second hand. Our family friend Ganeshan mama's son was a year older to me. This effectively meant that all his school textbooks were handed down to me after a year.

At one point of time, I used to think that we are very poor as compared to my friends because of this annual ritual. Only poor families did things like this, no? Indulging in self pity was an annual ceremony (It makes me laugh now). The ill-feeling with my parents would last for a month or so, before all my friends' books started resembling like mine and I would be normal again. Worse, after a point of time, my books looked better than their new ones.

This used to bother me quite a bit. I once asked Amma if we indeed are very poor. I remember Amma having laughed at my question. She assured me that we were not poor but was very firm on having a simple lifestyle. Now-a-days it often strikes me as to how amazing my parents have been in certain ways without even them realising it. I was never a fan of their simple lifestyle and always dreamed of spending extravagantly once I started earning. While I did indulge in some consumerist fantasies earlier, nowadays I see myself constantly questioning it. Earlier I would tom-tom about how retail therapy was an instant cure for depression. Now, I laugh at my own claims.

For the first time I will do something that I have never done before. I will be gifting a second hand book to one of my dearest friends. Amma-Appa have always maintained that it is the emotion behind the gift that matters and not the gift per se. I have never consciously gifted anyone second hand. I always thought, it was not a right thing to do. I don't exactly think likewise now. The 'always' bit can be tampered around a bit. Earlier, my refusal to use second hand books was more to do with my stupid pride. I think I was too bothered about what my friends would think of me.

I now believe that I should use every product till it completely looses its utility value. What Amma intended then makes complete sense to me now. Both the new and the old textbook served the same purpose. So, there was no point in actually buying a new book when I had a slightly older one to serve the same purpose. Besides, it also reduced unnecessary consumption.

The above SMS conversation just reminded me of my childhood. It's amazing how certain incidents can make you look at your parents in a completely different light. I love my parents' simplicity :) I think as one grows older, one starts appreciating certain facets of our parents' personalities which we would never have thought or appreciated before. Come to think of it, I consider my parents' so-called kanjoosi then as simplicity now. Hehe :)

Why the world hates America?

2007-08-16T14:58:00.000+05:30

I read about Postglobal during one of my aimless surfing sojourns and came across this and I was hooked on to it. The first thing that stuck me while reading the blog was, "How I wish, I could also do the series!" (I remember having felt something similar before) It's an amazing assignment which gives a chance to go to different countries and meet different kinds of people from all over the world. I personally feel it's a huge kick for any journalist. Sigh....I wish I'm able to do something similar in future. However, I thought I will do an email interview with Amar C Bakshi, the chief contributor of the project and well, here it is....

How did you become involved with the project? What has been your personal interest in it?
I proposed it to Fareed Zakaria, David Ignatius and Hal Straus. They were all very supportive. I've been fascinated by views of America ever since seeing strong political anti-American rhetoric in Zimbabwe. It is also a crucial issue facing Americans, one worth exploring and putting a human face on.

How many countries have you visited till now for this project?
So far I've been to England and India. I'm in Jammu&Kashmir now, going to Pakistan next week. Then I'm taking a break for a few weeks before pushing off to East Asia or the Middle East.

Starting afresh in a new country with an assignment can be quite a task. Can you tell me a little more about how did you go about your work in various countries? Who all helped you?
I've received great help from MJ Akbar, who put me in touch with Asian Age correspondents around the country. Similarly India Express reporters in Srinagar and Calicut were very helpful. It varies greatly -- between contacts from the Post, friends, other journalists and luck I manage to get by.

You have met a lot of people and written about hem on your blog too. Can you talk about any interesting experience which you haven't mentioned in the blog? (Something that would be irrelevant for the site, but interesting nevertheless)
Well, I've made a lot of friends along the way. The girls from the TV in the American Language piece opened up Manchester nightlife for me, which was a blast, and I got a real deep look into Blackburn's tabacco hookah scene before the smoking ban went into effect.

What are the apsirations of the youth you met in various cities and countries?
Big question, but basically to earn money, have fun, and improve the lot of their family or community in some way. Aspirations of youth are vital. I always ask about it, especially because often the U.S. is a part of those aspirations for more education or money, or to resist. Anyway, not sure what else to say here. Maybe you can be more specific?

Your parents are from India. As opposed to the initial views you had about India, what are the different things that you experienced about India especially in this specific assignment?
Well, America was always the sole land of opportunity for my parents. I'm seeing now more and more how India itself has become the land of opportunity for many of the brightest students. Seeing this energetic, hopeful part of India is wonderful.

Did you come to Bangalore? (Bangalore has a huge section of population working in call centres serving clients from USA) I believe you went to Mumbai and interacted with the call centre junta there. What were your observations? How was it visiting South India?
I loved South India. I loved the way people laugh there. I visited call centers primarily in Chennai, and didn't end up going to Bangalore for a variety of logistical reasons, and because a lot of American journalists seem to go there, I figured I'd look at Hyderabad or Chennai. I spent time in Kerala too driving up and down.
I found call centers very interesting because of the aspirations of the young who work there -- for money, success, material things, and a chance. Often America represents a meritocratic ideal, which is interesting. Also, it's fascinating for Americans to see who it is calling them. I think it might be alienating for call center employees to call hostile, distant Americans, and it might be aggravating for Americans to get distant phone calls, but by putting the two communities in touch online and showing a face to both sides, it creates understand, the goal of this project. I was proud of the call center piece and hope it gets more Americans aware of just who calls them.

You talk about Muslims in madrassas being close minded. But are you aware of instances of modernisation of Madarssas wherein Maths, English are being introduced? (There are some madrassas like that in Bangalore)
I never talked about Muslims in madrassas being closed minded. In fact, my post was about how modern Muslim madrasas in Malegaon can be. I've taken readers/viewers into madrasas in Malegaon to show them how progressive they can be, how education-oriented they can be
My other post talked about how Muslim teachers avoided teaching politics, but curious students wanted to know more. And in that case the teachers used history and theology to say that there is no need to enter politics because all great powers fall. It's a peaceful but tricky balance. *** Please fix your line above where you say I say Muslims in madrassas are closeminded. This is a misunderstanding on your part. Thank you!***

For a patriot (you mention in a post about how you hung American flag prominently at the entrance of your house after 9/11) was it unnerving to hear people's opinions regarding their hatred for America? Was this the first time you were personally coming across such views?
It was unnerving. See this. But it wasn't the first time. Doing research in Zimbabwe I can across really vehement criticisms of the U.S. as a neo-colonial force by a lot of government ministers who got political mileage, like Mugabe, off of such rhetoric.

Books like Inheritance of Loss, The Kite Runner have portrayed that despite the faults, USA is still the place to realise one's dreams. Do you think it is a dominant perception while interacting with the youth in India? How was it interacting with a upper middle class urban Muslim youth of India?
Yes, I think it is true. America still represents great hope. In Srinagar, for example, I am finding the same. Now there are certainly chinks in America's gleaming armor, but it still as an ideal holds weight. Upper middle clas urban Muslim youth that I met were incredibly bright and worldly. Like most Indians, they criticized recent American foreign policy and hoped that it would genuinely support human rights and democracy, and like most Indians they felt great love for the idea of America, though wariness of its international actions over time, and especially lately.

Racial profiling of people from South Asia is a common phenomenon in USA that was started after the 9/11 attacks. Do you think that plays a important role in how South Asians view USA post 9/11?
Yes, I think racial profiling in America has a real bad impact on perceptions abroad, especially because these cases make big news here, while they might not make quite as a big a headline in the U.S. I hear, though I do not know, that this is especially true in Pakistan.

Why have you put on a beard before going to Pakistan? This is interesting because 'beard' + 'South Asian' looks are a stereotype for a Muslim terrorist. Do you think people In Pakistan will warm up to you because of your appearance? Does looking similar to the majority help in any way?
I might shave the beard. It was a bit of a joke, but maybe not an appropriate one. I really haven't had much time the past few months, I've been traveling, been busy, and have only carried the bare necessities around (which doesnt include a razor and cream) so I just haven't gotten around to it. I might well shave it off this weekend when I catch my breath. But as far as looking local, my appearance has helped. I don't stick out quite so much when I travel, which helps me get my camera in different places without raising quite as many eyebrows.

You have interviewed non resident Indians as a part of your project too. How do they view India?
A good place to invest, a place of rich history/culture, a place that could benefit from some of the looser social mores that America has -- particularly vis a vis gender and class.

What do you think is this project going to achieve? How has the reaction been of American readers to your articles?
It's added depth to news items and given people a glimpse at human lives around the world touched by America. I think it might help people have a sense of the impact of their electoral decisions, and the degree to which America is involved globally. There are many ways Americans can help shape the world for the better from smart buying to aid to votes. So far the reaction has been great. People are saying they didn't have a human face on a lot of big issues: like a student at a madrasa or a call center employee. This project puts it out there, encourages readers to interact with interviewees, and tries to make people see people around the world so headlines become more than just a sound-byte, but a bit of understanding - empathy and hope - for others around the world.

A day when I was almost attacked...

2007-07-21T17:26:00.000+05:30

It was just any other day (or so I thought) till I got a call informing me about a raid by the labour department. The raid was on a brick kiln unit wherein the owner was practising bonded labour. It's an amazing story. It took a man from Orissa to point out the instance of bonded labour in Bangalore while the Bangalore city cops had no clue about the going ons in their own backyard. Bijaya kumar Babu, a social worker from Orissa tipped off the labour commission in the city about the practice of bonded labour at SRB Chamber Bricks, a brick kiln unit in a village in Anekal, 30 kilometres from Bangalore. One of the members took a chance escaped leaving behind his wife in the brick kiln unit. Once back home, he contacted Das who works with the tribal and Dalit community in Orissa.

He then got in touch with South India Cell for Human Rights Education and Monitoring (SICHREM) and informed them about the situation here. The people trapped in the brick kiln unit were mainly Dalits and tribals who had come all the way to Bangalore in search of employment. He also told me that National Rural Employment Guarantee Act is in shambles in the state which is prompting lot of people from Orissa to come all the way to Bangalore. One of the main reasons that Bangalore lures people is the construction boom here. There are apartments being constructed left, right and centre here. Now that the city's become greater Bangalore, the constructions will only increase. (Trivia: Greater Mumbai is 434 sq. km whereas Greater Bangalore is 721 km. Greater Bangalore is almost double than that of Mumbai.) Another reason why they are in demand is because migrant workers don't demand as much money as the local employees.

I took my camera and went to the spot along with officials from labour department, revenue department and a bunch of human rights activists from SICHREM and Association for Promoting Social Action (APSA). I had never been to an actual raid before. So it was quite exciting :D

Most of the people were from various villages of Bolangir district in Orissa. Their condition out there was very bad. We heard some horror stories. No one was allowed to go home with their family. Mamta, a worker said, "I was beaten up black and blue when my husband tried to ask for higher wages. I was not allowed to breast feed my kids for three weeks. They beat up my husband too. I desperately want to go home. I asked them for a leave. But they did not grant me one." There were cases of child labour too. N B Ramchandra, labour officer-Bangalore said, "The children ought to be subjected to medical examination by a doctor to determine their exact age. After that, can we give the exact statistics of the number of children involved in child labour." The workers alleged that they were paid Rs 400-500 per week per family.

When the team went to the spot, they were very happy. They were expecting us since Bijaya had gone to the place in disguise couple of days before informing them about the raid. Overjoyed, they immediately started packing their bags. However, some associates of Nanjundaiah began physically abusing the labourers and the activists despite the presence of labour officials and the police personnel. They also prevented the government officials to take the labourers along with them. Bijaya was slapped real hard by the goons. We couldn't do anything because there were just two police officials with us who did nothing. When I spoke to the Anekal police, they told me that the labour department officials had only asked for two people and that they provided the people likewise. They also said it is difficult to handle such last minute requests. The human rights activists told me that during such kind of raids, the police is always informed in the last minute because word usually spreads fast and the owners of such kind of places always manage to escape.

The labour department had hired a truck to ferry the people. However, as soon as the labourers boarded the truck the goons forcibly tried to pull them out of the truck. Mind you, the goons who were being violent were only 3-4 of them. In comparison the workers were about 50 of them. But they were so scared. Mentally they had surrendered. To see them so meek somehow disturbed me. They could have easily over powered the men since they were so few in number. The owner had still not reached the spot and his men were simply creating ruckus. It was such a helpless feeling. Despite crying for help, we couldn't do anything. I couldn't spot the police officials at all.

The goons also thrashed the ETV cameraman. His camera was broken as they demanded the cassette from him. However, he was smart and in the nick of time managed to replace the original cassette with an empty one. Looking at the situation, the media persons decided to quickly leave the place. I had to leave early since I had a deadline to meet. One of my friends from Hindu who had come in a car offered me a lift. As soon as we sat in the car we saw that the owner had come. We again rushed out in order to get his version. I spoke to him and clicked his picture. Within few minutes went back to the car and were all set to leave. Suddenly, 5-6 goons rounded up the car and the driver had to stop it. They began banging the car furiously. Me and my friend looked at each other. We were really scared now. We had not exactly locked the doors. They opened it and demanded the camera. "Who has the camera? Delete our boss's photo. Tell us where the camera is?" they shouted. I was really scared now. I was the one with the camera. In the whole melee, they were confused about who exactly took the camera. I was confused. I did not want to part away with my camera and pictures. Well, why should I? But at the same time, I wondered, they only want me to delete the picture na. I should simply delete it and go away from the wretched place. In the midst of all the nonsense, I was wondering what exactly to do.

My friend did not have the camera with her. She screamed at them saying that she doesn't have it. We were seated inside. But they started searching the car. They even tried to open my friend's bag. Meanwhile, I started crying for help. I also told them that I don't have the camera. The Hindu photographer was waiting for us in another place. Anticipating trouble, he had smartly left the place. However, his tripod was still inside the bag. They took away the tripod. I couldn't believe my helplessness. I yelled at them and screamed for help. I was really angry and scared. Suddenly the owner came and snatched the tripod from his goons and gave it to us. He asked his goons to shut up and apologised to us and requested us to leave. We were both very angry with him and shouted at him and finally left the place. Mind you, the police out there did not come to help us at all.

As we were going back to the office, I realised the enormity of the situation. I have never been rounded up by violent goons like this. It was only later that the gravity of the situation hit me. It can be extremely intimidating. I have been in similar situations before/ (Looking back at the post, I realise some of my opinions have changed. It's weird. But well, that's a different story altogether. Will blog about it.) However, I think I am lightly lucky in such cases because I'm a woman. Had there been a male reporter in my place, he would have been bashed left right and centre in no time. They wouldn't have asked. They would have simply beaten the guy black and blue.

I went to the office and filed the story. According to my boss, I shouldn't have taken the risk and should have simply deleted the pic. She's asked me not to get into trouble like this. Hmmm.... But I'm secretly glad that I did not give the camera to them. I think I can ramble all about it now especially since I am safe now. But still, why should I? Argh!!!!!! Oh, I did not file a police complaint. I think I should have. But well, at that time, all that was in my mind was to go and file the story. Later I kind of lost interest. I think I should have filed a complaint. But well.... that did not happen.

The activists who were there for a longer time told me that they had a tough time leaving the place along with the workers. More police officials were sent in later. The workers are now back home :)

Men Bahadur

2007-07-12T13:38:00.000+05:30

Image courtesy: Nishant Ratnakar-BM

Kids do the darndest things. Indeed! One of them is Men (pronounced Meen) Bahadur, (an approximately) 10-year old Nepali kid languishing in the Government Boys home in Bangalore. Well, he hasn't committed any crime. He's just there because the government simply doesn't know where to send him. Besides the fact that he stayed near a mountain and a lake in Nepal, he doesn't remember anything. Men's living in Bangalore for the past six years which roughly means that he ran away from Nepal when he was around 4 years. Well, the government officials are currently trying hard to find his kith and kin. There is a fear amongst the officials that as days pass by, it would be difficult for them to help him since he would forget whatever little he remembers now.

I was chatting up with him. He told me lot of things. He opened up a lot to me. He kept telling me that he doesn't want to go back to his parents. When I asked him why, he told me that they are 'bagde' parents. Bagde in Kannada means Rented. Rented parents? I kept wondering what it meant. Then I figured out that he was referring to his foster parents. Apparently, his parents died when he was very young. He was taken care of by the foster parents. However, his father used to beat him quite a lot. "That's why I used to run away", he says. When I asked him how he managed to reach Bangalore, he innocently told me that he just hopped inside a bus to Bangalore from Nepal. I wonder if there is a direct bus service like that, hehe. I don't think he remembers how he came here.

He told me things that he hadn't told the government officials yet. He told me that his brother used to work in the defence service and that he was in Bangalore for some training. The officials have taken a note of it. hopefully it should be of some use :) During the conversation, I wondered what might have prompted him to run away in search of his brother.He still hopes that he would be able to find his brother. Kids don't take drastic decisions like these. I think, the foster father would have really beaten him badly to have prompted him to take such a step. or probably he would have plainly got lost. I don't know. But the fact that he is so keen to go back to his brother and not his foster parents does indicate the former.

Actually, nobody knows his exact age since he's a runaway kid. I wondered when he celebrates his birthday. I did not ask him that. When I was a kid (even now, to a great extent) birthdays were a big thing, It was a very big deal for me. I used to look forward to my birthdays every year. The fact that it used to come in the same month of Diwali was a double treat since Diwali's a favourite festival. Oh well, I am digressing now. But the point is, I felt bad wondering about this child who doesn't even know his birthday. Also, the government boys home has parents of kids coming and meeting other kids. I wonder how lonely he would feel. Despite knowing that he has a brother, he doesn't know where he is. So much helplessness....

When he first came to Bangalore, the police officials had admitted him at Makkala Ashraya Kendra. However, he used to often run away from Makkala Ashraya Kendra (MAK) where he initially lived. However, he maintains that MAK is his favourite place. I was puzzled. I asked him why did he run away from the place often if he liked the place so much. He remained silent for a while. I again asked him. He paused and then replied, "I used to go out in search of my brother." I can't forget the look on his face then. To say that I felt bad would be an understatement. I just wanted to hug him tight and tell him that things would be alright.

While I was taking down some numbers of officials of MAK, Men came and silently stood next to me. I asked him what happened. "I wanted the number of the MAK official." I asked him, "What do you plan to do with the number?" He said, "I want to call them to ask them to take me back." I did not what tot ell him. I just gave him the number. He was so happy. It was as if he had got a big bar of chocolate that has been denied to a kid for a long time. According to the Child Welfare Committee officials, MAK is not very keen to take him back because of his vagabond ways. CWC has issued summons to MAK. Lets see what happens.

Currently, the boy shouldn't technically be in the government boys home because they house kids only from Bangalore (urban district) per se. They are trying hard to put him back in Makkala Ashraya Kendra. But, even then, that's not his real home. Worse, he ain't even a bonafide citizen of this country. Worse, the government does not have any policy to deal with such kids. ARGH!!!!

I really hope they are able to track his brother soon. I think his brother is extremely lucky. His younger brother surely loves him very much.

PS: I will surely rotate the pic properly very soon.

It's all about money, honey!

2007-06-26T23:24:00.000+05:30

Some say, Money can't buy the best things in life. While others say, there are no free lunches. Depending on how much importance we give to money in life, we will believe either of the two fundas strongly.

I tend to believe the former strongly. However, I realise that I'm in a hopeless minority. Given the backdrop, having an argument with people with a contrary worldview can be quite an unpleasant experience, painful to be precise.

There is a subject in schools called Work Experience or Socially Useful or Productive Work (SUPW) for the students in Karnataka.

Assessment of the SUPW should not be in terms of marks assigned to different processes but on the basis of skills learnt and the needs satisfied by individual students or in small groups. A diary of the day to day work done, the knowledge gained, production achieved with sketches and tables of statistics will more than answer the needs of assessment (Coutesy: http://www.education.nic.in/cd50years/g/t/EL/0TEL0501.htm )

As usual, the reality is quite different. Many school principals, teachers are of the belief that SUPW involves making children cleaning the toilets, filling up buckets of water for school purposes and various other stuff like this. I am not kidding at all. One school in Bangalore (school A) which suffers from severe water shortage makes it children fetch water from nearby areas as a part of SUPW projects before the start of every class. Another school (school B) which was smart enough to utilise the government funds, procured funds from Suvarna Jala Yojana and invested in a rainwater harvesting system. However, the work of filling up water in several buckets for various reasons is done by students of the school as a daily project under work experience.

Now one would obviously be proud of school B. However, the only difference is, students from school A struggle more than school B since they have to go out and fetch water. But the point is, even in school B, the students are made to do the work. The principal proudly proclaimed that the children do so under the able guidance of the teachers :|

It is sad to see many of my friends and acquaintances who do not think that something is wrong. One reaction that I got from one acquaintance (who is apparently doing a human rights course!?!?!?) was....."those are poor children, they get free food, free books, free everything. They don't have staff, so I guess, they have and need to do it. They do only within the school premises na...not outside."

Why don't people understand that making children work like this is a wrong thing to do. Even filling up buckets involves hard work. It isn't an easy task for a child aged 9 to fill up large buckets of water and lift them with/without help. Just because the students get free stuff, doesn't mean that they are "OBLIGED" to do work like this.

Filling water on a regular basis is a chore and not productive work. Making children do it is ridiculous. There is no harm in teaching a kid how to clean a toilet. But making the child do it on a daily basis as a part of school curriculum is a crime. But it happens in such an alarming regularity in all the schools, that it is just not funny. Unfortunately, it is not even a story for me....*sigh* Its interesting to note how people stop having expectations from municipal schools just because they are 'free'.

I am just appalled. Does money determine everything? Just because the children come from unfortunate backgrounds, does it mean that they should do work like this.

Hello from Bangalore!

2007-02-17T22:14:00.000+05:30

Hello everyone. Yup, I am still alive. I have been very busy for the past couple of months. There have been so many changes in my life that blogging was the last thing in my mind. Well, I have relocated to Bangalore now. It's been quite a change for me. But it's also lot of fun since I am getting a chance to explore a new city and being a vagabond is just so much fun :D :D

Some of my posts henceforth would be about my impressions about the city. Bangalore is a growing city. There is lots happening here and it is interesting to chronicle its growth. However, while I scour the city, I always end up comparing the city with Mumbai. I know it's a stupid exercise, but I can't help but do it since Mumbai is the only reference point for me. Reporting in two different cities also helps me gain a perspective of how cities function. Bangalore is growing at a rapid unhealthy pace. Mumbai is a 'been-there-done-that' kind of a city. Even though they are different, there are some interesting parallels as well. I might blog about that later.

What I intend to write in this post are my impressions regarding the events that followed the verdict given by the tribunal on the Cauvery issue. Anyways,on February 6th Cauvery Water Disputes Tribunal gave its verdict after 16 long years. One can read more about it here

I went out with my photographer colleague to scour the city to check out how various areas were reacting to the verdict. Most of the city remained indoors yesterday. The roads were completely empty. I could have played roller skating on the roads. Shops in many areas remained closed. I wondered why. The city had a presence of 18,000 troops to prevent any possible backlash against the Tamilians in the city. {I was advised to forget talking in Tamil for a week, he he. I think I can manage quite well with my broken Kannada, Hindi and English :D :D} And all this happened when there was no formal declaration of a bandh.

I found the reaction of the Bangaloreans to be quite precautionary. In fear of a possible violence, people themselves opted to not to leave their houses. I guess such kind of response was because of the failure of the administration in earlier occassions especially during the 1991 Cauvery riots, Rajkumar's Death etc. {Can anyone tell me how bad the situation was during 1991?}

Finally a formal bandh was declared on February 12th. The roads were EMPTY. There were no buses, no autorickshaws, no cars. There was absolutely nothing at all. For someone who is completely dependent on public transport, it was a difficult day. But thankfully, a colleague came to my rescue and I went about to various parts of the city in his motorbike. I thought the public reaction to the Bandh was quite submissive. Back home in Mumbai, we have witnessed many such instances. However, I don't remember of any particular bandh which was uniformly effective all over the city. I guess one of the main reasons why Bandhs are only effective in only certain pockets in Mumbai are the local trains which never stop completely. Though Local trains remain one of the main targets during a bandh, people don't really stop commuting. So in essence normal life does not really halt completely. Here in Bangalore, the BMTC buses (the main mode of public transport) did not ply on the roads at all. I shudder to think what would happen if local trains don't function at all. I guess in Mumbai one has many options including BEST buses, autorickshaws which complement the local train services perfectly.

Also, Mumbai hasn't had a proper Bandh for sometime due to this reason. In the past four years, I don't really remember one single Bandh paralysing the whole city. Needless to say Bangalore was completely crippled without buses, rickshaws, private cabs etc. One could have organised a skating tournament. Bangalore was completely pollution-free that day. I wonder how would the city have reacted, had something like this happened in Bangalore as well! Hmmm....

Damn

2006-09-29T10:31:00.000+05:30

Shymkent, Kazakhstan: This industrial city is reeling after learning that at least 63 children have been infected with HIV through medical negligence many blame on corruption and the illicit sale of blood.

At least five infected toddlers have died after receiving injections or blood transfusions in hospitals in Shymkent, a city in Kazakhstan's most densely population region 1,000 miles south of the capital.

Valentina Skryabina, leader of the non-government group Nadezhnaya Opora, which works to prevent AIDS among drug addicts, is convinced the illegal sale of blood is the source of the HIV in Shymkent's hospitals.

''Blood is an article of trade.... Hospitals are offered blood, and not always through the (official) blood centre. People trade in blood like they do in human organs.''

Skryabina said addicts and the homeless have been accepted by the regional blood centre because they agreed to be paid less than the official rate of $47 for about a half-pint of blood.

''Was their blood properly checked? We are not sure,'' she said.

Officials say they cannot comment on Skryabina's allegations until their investigation is over. Authorities do say, however, that five blood donors who are suspected to be HIV-carriers weren't found at their registered addresses.

Parents in this city of 400,000 are trying to conduct their own investigation. They say regional health officials were aware of the outbreak in March, and have been trying to cover it up by pulling pages from the infected toddlers' treatment records to eliminate any mention of blood transfusions.

The parents allege that up to 40 HIV-infected children aged 3 and under have died, but the true cause of the deaths was being concealed or attributed to diseases such as cirrhosis. Authorities declined to comment on these allegations, too, pending the investigation.

Some 13,000 children who were possibly infected have yet to be tested. Adults, too, could be infected: so far, three mothers of infected toddlers have tested positive for HIV.

Lawmaker Satybaldy Ibragimov says nothing will improve until Kazakhstan roots out corruption, which penetrates even universities where future doctors are graded according to the amount of money they give professors - and later treat people based on their ability to pay.

President Nursultan Nazarbayev's government has taken tough action. The health minister and the regional governor were fired this month, and several top regional health officials, the head of the regional blood centre and several senior doctors are under criminal investigation.

New governor Omyrzak Shukeyev, former mayor of the capital Astana, called the situation in Shymkent's health care system ''a catastrophe.'' He ordered an appraisal of medical staff in the region to root out incompetent or corrupt staff.

Shukeyev, under orders from Nazarbayev to urgently resolve the crisis, pleaded with experts at an AIDS crisis meeting this week: ''I'm waiting like nothing else for a moment when you say that the virus has been contained.''

''We cannot give you a time frame. This is going to be a lingering epicentre of disease,'' replied Vyacheslav Dudnik, the region's new health chief.

Shukeyev said the government would restructure and modernize the region's medical institutions. Each infected toddler's family will be given about $800 - twice the average monthly salary - in compensation and all treatment will be paid for by the government.

The most immediate problem is the lack of local expertise on how to treat young children with the AIDS virus.

Four AIDS specialists from UNICEF and several experts from Russia have been asked to help. But for now, said Sagdat Masaurov, whose 18-month-old grandson is infected, ''nobody can tell us where to go, what to do and how.''

Officially, by the end of 2004 Kazakhstan had about 4,700 HIV/AIDS cases, but the real number is believed to be higher. In the first six months of this year, the country recorded 828 new HIV carriers and 70 AIDS patients, a 70 percent increase over 2005.

Parents carrying toddlers come in a steady flow to the rundown two-story AIDS centre in Shymkent for HIV tests.

In the centre's courtyard, anxious-looking parents with HIV-infected children await examinations by doctors. Children can be heard crying.

Eighteen-month old Baurzhan Alseitov sat in his mother's arms, a blank look on his face. His father, Kanat Alseitov, was afraid the child's listlessness indicated the virus was already sapping his little body.

''He was restless and cried all night. He doesn't want to walk anymore,'' the father said.

Courtesy: Sify
I really don't know what to say. Cannot imagine anything more sad right now.

Haathi mere Saathi?

2006-09-24T16:50:00.000+05:30

Laxmi, a 25 year old elephant died an unfortunate death on 22nd September, a Friday after a water tanker hit her on Wednesday. Although her death was due to the carelessness of the drunk driver, her death has brought into the forefront the pathetic conditions under which the elephants live in Mumbai.

This is Laxmi’s second accident that unfortunately proved to be the fatal one. However, Laxmi is not the only one going through the ordeal. There are more than ten elephants that live in miserable conditions in Mumbai. Away from their natural habitat, they survive in the city and earn their daily food by modelling in films, advertisements and by begging. They also play a very important role in various Hindu rituals all over the city.

Most animal activists are at loggerheads with all the elephant-owners in the city. There are about 7-8 elephants in the entire city of Mumbai which are owned by three people between them. Saba Shankar Pandey, one prominent elephant owner in the city believes that he is fulfilling a genuine need of the people by supplying elephants to them for various purposes. “They think we are inflicting cruelty on them. It would be cruel to restrict their movement. They don’t understand our rich sanskriti. Everyone is out to destroy our ancient culture” he said.

Amisha Shah of People for animals said, “The elephants love to walk but not on tar roads. Making them walk on tar roads in the hot afternoons is extremely tough for the elephants. This is not their natural habitat.” The elephants do not have single place for themselves in the city. The elephants sleep at any place in the night after begging all over the city.

Debashish Majumdar, Executive Secretary Thane SPCA said “Elephants live in captivity with insufficient space. Elephants are extremely intelligent animals with a strong sense of social order. Captive conditions fail to provide an interesting, stimulating and rewarding environment. They develop foot problems which are very rarely treated properly in captivity.”

Pandey claims that they spend a minimum of Rs 500 on each of the elephants they own. Imran (name changed to protect identity); a close associate of Pandey alleges that the elephants have to earn for their food everyday. He added, “The owners do not invest anything on the elephant’s well-being. The onus of the elephant’s well being is on the mahout. The elephants are given away to the mahout wherein the latter has to pay Rs 500 everyday to the owner. The rest of the money which is earned by begging is pocketed by the Mahout to take care of his and the elephant’s expenses.” The activists claim that one needs to spend almost Rs 1000 everyday on their food. The elephants need more than 150 kgs of food everyday and 40 gallons of water.

Most of the elephant-owners have procured their elephants from an annual elephant mela that is held in Sonpur in Bihar every year. They are also procured from a place near Nepal. The younger ones attract the maximum price. Currently, one elephant costs about 10-12 lakhs. Imran futher added, “Many villagers in Uttar Pradesh own elephants and keep them in their houses. Many owners purchase from them since it is a cheaper alternative.”

Dharmesh Solanki of People for Animals, Mumbai said “The licence for the ownership of wild animals is given by the respective state forest department. The owner of the elephant has to mention the state or region in which he wants to keep the animal while obtaining the licence. Each time he decides to take the animal to another state, the forest department has to be informed and requisite transit permission should be obtained. He has to give information about the place he is going, the route he will be taking the animal through, the number of days he will be stayingat a particular place etc. It is the duty of the wildlife officer of the state to enquire about the animal and also the duty of the owner to seek them and declare his animal.”

The laws including the Wildlife Protection Act-1972 prevent private ownership of all wild animals. An exception could be when permission is given by principal chief conservator of forests for a specific purpose for a limited amount of time subjected to the condition that the animals are kept as per the Central Zoo Authority guidelines. The other laws which ban the presence of a wild animal in the city are Bombay Police Act, Prevention of Cruelty towards Animals Act, Begging Prohibition Act.

N.G Jayasimha, Co-ordinator of Campaign and Legal Affairs, People for Ethical Treatment for Animals “It is generally noticed that most of the elephants in the city do not carry proper papers with them, and hence it is difficult to ascertain the ownership of the animal. According to the forest department (in their letter dated 23/08/2006) they have not issued any permission or granted any license to parade elephants in the city.”

The animal activists also used Right to Information to find out what the wild animals are doing in the city. Jaisimha said, “The forest department has admitted under RTI that they have not taken any action on the owners of elephants in Mumbai in an event of their accident or death. According to the Forest Department, there are only 4 elephants registered with them. But according to information available with PETA and other animal organizations, there are at least over 11 elephants in the city.”

{Imran who is a close associate of Pandey and quit working for him after he could not bear to see the elephants being tortured.}

It is extremely sad that in a city wherein the elephant headed god is revered and loved so much, there are elephants which live under such pathetic conditions in the city. The irony can be unnerving at times.

Caste communities on Orkut

2006-09-19T01:30:00.000+05:30

Do check the clarifications below...

What do you guys think of the Orkut Communities where the common underlying purpose of their origin is CASTE? There are so many of them viz. Iyers, Brahmins, Iyengars, Panchals, Patels, etc. In India, surnames are the prime indicators of which section of the society one belongs to. Asking for one's surname is a rampant thing in Maharashtra. Whenever I am asked my name, people are never satisfied if I say my name is Shobha. Their immediate question would be, 'Shobha what?' thus emphasizing the need for a surname. This is one of the ways to identity the caste you belong to.

Personally, I am extremely uncomfortable being a part of such communities. For me, joining a community where the only thing I have in common with others is the fact we all belong to a SAME CASTE is something I am just not comfortable with. Sometimes I wonder what could be discussed in forums like these.... There can be interesting discussions based on understanding of certain rituals, festivals and lot of other stuff. But I still wonder, do we need a forum based on a certain CASTE for that? Can't people do it in any other way? Most of the discussions I have seen are sad {my personal opinion}

Even though Orkut represents just a small fraction of our society, it says so much about us. In an already polarised society like ours, it is sad that we resort to grouping together on the basis of CASTE, something that's an inherited factor of our life. It's funny that one tends to associate oneself with CASTE, something that we had never consiously decided to be a part of. In the backdrop of the whole reservation wrangle, such associations just show how deeply casteist our society is.

But I guess that communities like this will never cease to exist since CASTE is an identity factor for many. I feel such groupisms only are a subtle reflection of the casteist bent of our society. It's an irony that people group themselves by alienating themselves from the mainstream. However, I guess it's quite common. Technology only enhances the propogation of certain age old beliefs. While earlier one would have Kerala Samaj, Bohri Samaj, Protestant societies etc, now we have their online versions in Orkut. I have seen that strong bonds amongst the community provide great social security for the people. However, I wonder should social security be achieved at the cost of alienating onself from the mainstream?

Some clarifications:

I have mentioned in my post that Orkut is just a representation of our society in general. It is not THE SOCIETY :| Please credit me with some basic intelligence. Read the post carefully again....

Also, I personally find it stupid to have a community formed on the basis of CASTE. I personally feel that CASTE system should be redundant. Such groupings still reinforce the old superiority or inferiority complexes depending on which ever side one belongs to. If not directly, then subtly it definitely does. I don't think it is an issue to form a community based on lingustic lines. I don't think it reinforces any age old streotypes of superiority just on the basis of association to a particular language. However CASTE does. It reinforces all the sick, sad stereotypes which I personally don't think are relevant {or ideally should not be relevant} any more.

It does not bother me since I feel it is everyone has a right to make their own choices. However such communities amuse me to a great extent since I never had thought that I will see an Orkutised version of a Patel Samaj, or a Dalit Samaj etc. For me, my CASTE isn't my identity. Unfortunately for many others, it still is.

9/11

2006-09-11T23:50:00.000+05:30

Don't you think it's a criminal coincidence that the Twin tower bombings and the Satyagraha movement started by by Mahatma Gandhi share the same date? It is sadder when 9/11 is remembered more because of the former than the latter....

Blast Mania and a Thank you

2006-09-10T23:44:00.000+05:30

Its the blast time again. This time in Malegaon, in Nashik district in Maharashtra. Damn man, I don't know if there would be any end to the terror travail. It just springs up from just about nowhere. Everyone is caught napping. The whole situation is so hopeless.

I remember when the serial blasts happened in Mumbai couple of months back, it was just absolute panic. Fortunately I was on the other side of the town and thus escaped the blasts. Otherwise being a regular commuter in trains, I could very well have been one of the casualities. Things were so bad that I was not able to get in touch with any of my friends, relatives since the phone lines were completely jammed. Thankfully none of my friends and acquaintances got hurt.

My blog was completely inactive during that period. One of the reasons being, I was extremely caught up with work that I had no time for anything else. During those months, I rarely frequented even my own blog leave alone other regulars. I had almost forgotten what my blog looked like. Well, now the blogging bug has bit me again and I was going through the comment boxes of my previous posts when I chanced upon this message....

Anonymous said...

Hello Shobha,

I just wanted to let you know that someone in London( i do not know the name) was worried for you after the bombay blasts. They had given this link on mumbaihelp.blogspot.com and enquired if you were safe.Please contact them.

skk

When I read it, I was completely puzzled. Some of the UK bloggers whom I know of are Jag, Chakra and Dubukku. I immediately went to the site to check who might have wanted to get in touch with me. I surfed through some of the comments and found out that it was jag who was worried about me. I found this...

and this....

I remember Jag and Dubukku had left behind a comment on my blog inquiring if I am safe. I remember having responded in couple of days. However, I did not know that he had also made inquiries at the Mumbai help blog. {They have removed the comments on the blog wherein people have confirmed the whereabouts of their friends. However, I looked around for its cache and managed to grab a screenshot.} I would never have known that he had made inquiries had it not been for the stranger who left the above message.

To be frank,I am overwhelmed. I discovered this just a few days back. I did not know that there were people living miles away from where I live inquiring if I am safe. Though we have been around for just couple of years,my interaction with them is restricted to just comments on each other's blogs.Thanks Jag. Thanks Dubukku for making the effort. They needn't have done that, but they went ahead and did it nevertheless. It was really sweet of you guys to do that. You really made my day. I will never forget this gesture. I guess this is what Blogging has given me. So much goodwill, so much love and so many friends. Thank you.

P.S. While chatting with one of my colleagues, I wondered aloud about the exact motive of the blasts in Malegaon. He said, "Well if Lashkar E Taiba is caught involved as the popular perception goes, I guess they are trying to tell the world that they are secular terrorists, they kill people of all relegions." :|

Freaky coincidences

2006-09-08T01:17:00.000+05:30

One of my favourite cousins got married recently. She lives in Sydney, Australia. Due to some personal reasons she got married in Australia itself. Many of us in India could not attend her marriage due to various reasons. Now Australia is a new place for my cousin and her family. Therefore my Attai and Athimber thought it would be a cool idea to seek help from the local tamil association of Sydney. The association members were immensely co operative and helped them out in successfully conducting a small and a simple marriage ceremony.

I was casually narrating this incident to Vidya. Vidya in turn told her mother about my cousin's marriage. To my utter surprise, she told me that her mother knew the couple in question. Now this is weird since my cousin and Vidya don't know each other at all. This is how the conversation went...

V: I told my mother about your cousin's marriage and she seems to be aware of the whole thing.

S: Eh? How can she be aware of it?

V: Well, my family is also the member of the local Tamil association. Some of the members had contacted my mother asking her if she could arrange for the catering for the marriage.

S: Wow...

V: yea...she asked me...'That's a Palakkad girl who got married right?'

S: OH MY GOD.....then what happened? Did she attend the marriage?

V: No ya, she couldn't. On that there was no one to drive mom to the marriage venue. She was all ready to arrange the food for the marriage provided there was some private transport that could be arranged. Ultimately, she couldn't go.

Now don't you think this is freaky? Miles away from where I live, my cousin gets married and my friend who doesn't know anything about my cousin, almost becomes a part of her marriage without even knowing that the couple in question are my relatives. Whoa..........world is a friggin small place.

Reminder to myself

2006-09-05T01:04:00.000+05:30

Subah ka bhoola shaam ko ghar laut-tha hain toh use bhoola nahi kehte....

Many a times it so happens that in pursuit of the so-called important things in life, hobbies become the first casualty. I have missed blogging about so many wonderful things due to some stupid reasons which were hitherto considered extremely important. I am not making the same mistake now. I would be posting in couple of days. Cheers :D

Bloggie Birthday

2006-06-20T00:00:00.000+05:30

Hey hey hey....My blog is three today. I never thought that I will actually continue blogging for three years. It's been a cool experience. I have loved every bit of it and I intend to continue blogging for a long time to come :D This is fun :D

Being judgemental

2006-06-15T01:08:00.000+05:30

I have always thought of myself as a non-judgemental person. I take my own sweet time to form opinions, they are not instant. However, few days back it just hit me how I have been judgemental in subtle ways, in ways I have not necessarily thought earlier. It hit me hard. I have always thought being judgemental is one of the most saddest trait one can possess. It hit me hard to realise that I have been judgemental too. Worst was when i realised that I have judged my loved ones. It's not a nice feeling.

I have been thinking a lot about this lately. I just realise how I have altered some decisions due to the constant pressure of being judged. Also, sometimes there is a small fear of being judged lurking around in the backgroundwhich prevents you from being completely open even to your closest friends. It's not a nice feeling. Damn....

Rains n me

2006-06-04T00:14:00.000+05:30

Finally the rains have hit Mumbai a good 15 days earlier. Cool, I like it. I was anyways getting roasted in the heat. I tell you, reporting in the hot sun is no cakewalk. It is extremely draining physically. However the irony is, reporting in rains is not an easy thing either. I like to be a homebody especially during monsoons. I love sitting by the window sill watching kids play, splish splashing in the puddles. I love to sit by the window sill with a hot cup of coffee and just watching the rains lashing the surface.

Couple of days back I enjoyed a rainy day. It was just perfect, just the way I had wanted. I stood by the window sill and enjoyed the rains alongwith my filter kaapi made by Amma {best thing it is}. Then I slept in the afternoon. Now, sleeping in the afternoon curled up inside a blanket, when its raining heavily outside with the fan turned on in full speed is an awesomest thing. I loved my afternoon siesta :D Then I woke up and was chatting with my friend with FM radio in the background...ALL Kishore Kumar Numbers.....WOWIEE :D I loveeeeeeeeee it. Then I went for a walk when it was drizzling outside. By the time I came back home, it started pouring cats and dogs. My friend ran off upstairs to the terrace. I followed her only to see her blissfully getting wet in the rains. Usually I don't like getting wet in rains. But something spurred me to get drenched completely.

Well to say i loved getting wet in rains would be an understatement. It was so much fun. Majja Came :D :D

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Recently I attended a Bhajan recital by the famous Manjapra Mohan. I love his bhajan troupe. They are just so amazing. Their sessions can be absolutely electrifying to say the least. Amidst the performance, I noticed a small kid clapping her hands. What was amazing was, the kid was all of 6-8 months old and it was actually enjoying the music and the rhythm. Usually small kids do not like noise and start crying soon. However this child continued clapping for couple of hours completely in tune with the rhythm. Great music sense at such a young age....WOW

An interesting read....

2006-05-30T01:04:00.000+05:30

Eyes, Ears And Minds Closed
Why is India's middle class so hostile to the empowerment of the poor?
VINOD MEHTA

This column is not being written to defend Arjun Singh, nor the new quota regime, nor any formula/mechanism to implement reservations. That debate has been so polarised and distorted that any intervention which does not take one or the other side is destined to fall on deaf ears. No. My purpose is to point out that the passion-charged street power and the virulent rhetoric against reservations should be seen as part of a larger, disturbing pattern. India's smug, selfish, self-centred, satiated middle class, fattened on the fruits of the booming economy, is positively hostile to any policy which sets out to empower the poor. Over 900 million of our citizens live on less than Rs 90 a day. Of this, 300 million live on less than Rs 45 a day. Meanwhile, 200 million privileged have decided that these citizens must remain roughly where they are-or wait till the enormous wealth the rich, the ultra rich and the nouveau rich are accumulating trickles down. This is an obscenity. No fancy economic formulation can hide this appalling reality of India 2006.

Take the employment guarantee scheme or selling cheap grain to BPL card-holders or the Right to Information Act (which allows the marginalised to check corruption in moneys spent in their name) or increasing subsidies for essential commodities used by the aam aadmi. You need to jog your memory only lightly to recollect the outrage of the haves at these schemes. They said India would be ruined, the finances of the nation would collapse if "utopian" proposals were implemented. The poor are poor because they are lazy, worthless, unenterprising, incapable of availing existing opportunities. Of course, I caricature the argument and the mentality. But only slightly.

One understands India is an economic superpower challenging China, it is experiencing unprecedented growth rates, its middle class can buy Danish bacon and Spanish olives at the neighbourhood store. Conspicuous consumption reigns. But nine hundred million people must wait for market forces to somehow touch their lives. Sheer callousness apart, these 900 million people have something called the vote. And they use it extremely craftily. In 2004, they threw out a government which considered itself invincible. Forget the ethics, forget conscience, any political party which panders to the prejudices of India's fickle middle class is committing electoral suicide.

Remember, the poor will not go away. You cannot tuck them away in Kalahandi or Bastar. They will haunt India's affluent in Mumbai, Delhi, Bangalore and Chennai at traffic lights, in unregulated slums, in shopping malls, outside five-star hotels. They will join Maoists and threaten the Indian state while slitting the throats of rich farmers. The 'Red Corridor' is an ominous development. Any moderately sane middle-class person must ask himself why the wretched of the earth increasingly decide to take up arms against a vastly better-armed and organised force in a war they know they are bound to lose. Better to die fighting than to die of hunger.

Doubtless, there are many infirmities in the proposal to allot 27 per cent seats to OBCs. The percentage may be too high, some wrong people may avail of the benefit, a few genuinely deserving might be unfairly penalised, implementation could throw up anomalies. It will not be painless. But you have to live in a state of permanent denial, you have to keep your eyes, ears and mind closed to avoid the fact that poverty and extreme poverty in India are closely linked to caste, closely linked to historical discrimination.

Let us take the crux of the reservation rejectionist's thesis. We're told that quotas and academic excellence are fundamentally incompatible. You can't have both.Added to the above is the rider that corporate India's "global competitive edge" will vanish. In other words, there is the firm assumption that affirmative action (AA), which in India takes the form of quotas (voluntary or mandatory), will produce second-class students.

In the hysteria generated, with assistance from a conflict-hungry media, this assumption has become gospel truth with the honourable but publicity-smart members of the Knowledge Commission lending their weight to the flawed thesis. In Harvard, Princeton and Yale, institutions at whose altar the rejectionists worship, the experience of AA has been hugely positive with no dilution of academic standards (see Outlook cover story Two Faces of Reservation, May 29).

Consider the story of Tamil Nadu, Karnataka, Andhra Pradesh and Kerala where mandatory quotas ranging from 69.5 per cent to 49.5 per cent have been in place since decades without social turbulence. Are we to assume that engineers, doctors, mbas from these southern states are substandard?

If notions of compassion and equity are alien to the rejectionists, perhaps the spectre of Maoists rampaging through pockets of urban India might help focus minds on the grotesquely unjust society superpower India is spawning. It could be the fire next time!

(Vinod Mehta is Editor of Outlook magazine)

Wanted HELP

2006-05-21T01:43:00.000+05:30

Hello everyone...

Ok, I need some help. I want to know if there is any free audio blogging service available? Is there any service akin to Google Video or You tube for audio files like Mp3? Is there any free service through which I can stream music on my blog? I am on a lookout for a free service like Audioblog. I am absolutely lost here. Can anybody help me out here? Thanks :)

Reservations

2006-04-14T01:01:00.000+05:30

Ok, this whole Reservation thing has been playing in my mind for quite a while now. Well, like most of the times, I am quite confused. It is such an vast topic with so many complexities that it is difficult for me to primarily have a stand.

The first thing that I am absolutely boggled about it, why is there a need to increase the quota levels in the institutions? Aren't the existing levels of quota sufficient? The main reason why reservations were introduced was to integrate the backward classes of the society with the mainstream society. Over a passge of time, Reservations were supposed to be written off. However, rather than achieving the set goal, what's the purpose in increasing the quota levels? Beats me completely.

To a certain extent, I do support reservations since I have seen the caste discrimination upclose. I understand how deep caste prejudices are. I had visited the tsunami affected villages for a month in tamil Nadu. Even a natural disaster like Tsunami couldn't break the traditional caste barriers. It was disgusting. Despite losing everything in the Tsunami, caste discrimination did not go away. Dalits did not get relief because they were Dalits even post- Tsunami. When a natural disaster like Tsunami cannot break caste prejudices nothing can. I understand that. However increasing reservation levels is definitely overdoing it. Since over the course of time, the level of reservations have to decrease.

Of course, I definitely agree with the unfairness of it. I have seen students from the 'general category' going into depression because they couldn't get through a particular college but students who have scored much less than them, have gotten through easily. Trust me, it hurts, it hurts real bad. It is absolutely unfair on the child.

Let us first look into why the reservations were brought about in the first place. Reservations were a tool through which Dalits and other backward classes of the society could be assimilated in the mainstream. This link can provide for good reference.

We have reservations for the past 50 years, have we achieved what we have set out to achieve? No, absolutely not. Coz caste discriminations run high. But then why hasn't the set goal been achieved? Reservations was means to achieve an end. However, over the years, it has become a means to an end. This is like having painkillers in case of arthrities rather than opting for a full fledged treatment. Improving state of primary education, improving state of central govt schools, state, municipal schools is the key and not increasing the level in reservations wherein the government is just committing another error in a bid to rectify it's earlier error.

Politicians are to be blamed for it {nothing new to it} Therefore, if the goal hasn't been achieved, then there is a fundamental flaw in the system and it needs a rethink.

In the end, I still think it all boils down to an apathetic, under-performing State. If we had created an efficient and equal government school model, like the neighbourhood schools in the West, this entire debate may well have been irrelevant. Sure, the super-rich kids would have still gone to snotty private schools, but at least everyone else would have studied with some sense of parity and quality. Right now more than 60 students compete for a single IIT seat. Isn’t it our right to demand more premier engineering institutes rather than this mad scramble for a handful of seats, made yet more acrimonious by the politics of reservation?

says Barkha Dutt

Are there any alternatives to reservations? Is there any other way reservations can be implemented? other than strengthening the primary education system in the country, I cannot think of any thing else. What was the government doing for 50 long years? It is not that we don't have reservations. Why have more reservations is what I am confused about.

Economic backwardness can be a benchmark for reservation. However here to scholarships could be introduced for the students. See, reservations were introduced since the social environment for super academic performance would not be similar to the privileged and the under-privileged. Instead of improving the infrastructure, the Government is proposing is trying to increase the quota levels. What utter nonsense.....

It is so frustrating for someone like me to live in this country wherein caste equations are so dominant. I don't care a shit about caste or relegion. However, people like me are in absolute minority which is why we see such caste equations permeating in all sectors. Ok, even though I don't care about my caste, I am being made to realise, oh, I am from the general category. Even if I don't wanna remember it, the system makes sure that I am reminded of it everyday.

Lot of people have been saying that 95 per cent scoring ppl from general category can easily co exist with ppl scoring 65 per cent of a reserved category. No problems with that. However, I don't understand why a 65 per cent scoring person from the general category cannot be included in the list. Is everyone from the General category necessarily required to be academically brilliant everytime.....everyone, always as a rule? How can it be possible? it is so unfair. Where is the space for academically mediocre people from the general category then?

However, having seen the caste prejudices myself, I feel there should be some solution to help the genuinely deserving candidates from the backward classes to come up but not at the expense of the general category students. coz I know so many of the general category students who are economically backward and cannot afford the cost of education since there is no help for them. Where do such students go? Don't they have a right to survive in the society. How can we just assume that all the general category students are well off? Assuming that, economically backward students from general category are in a minority than the other backward classes in totality, doesn it mean, it's ok for the minority to suffer, just coz they are minority? Doesn't it seem contradictory?

Trivia: It is interesting how the caste system functions in this country. Like OBCs consider themselves to be upper caste in comparison to Dalits. There are 150 sub castes amongst Dalits themselves if I am not mistaken and they also practise discrimination amongst themselves. It's funny. It's sad.

Ideally I wouldn't prefer reservations. However, given the current scheme of things, I am not completely against the currently prevalent reservations. However, I am completely against increasing the quota levels since it is ridiculous and is no solution to the problem.

Why

2006-03-29T01:21:00.000+05:30

How I wish I could say NO to people like some persons I know! I wonder how some people say NO so easily! Inability to say NO can be an irritating quality. I hate it.

Update:

Hmmm....Well, on the hindsight, I think this post of mine is kind of misleading. Well, when i say I cannot say NO, I should have added that I cannot say No to my loved ones. Otherwise, I can and I have easily said NO. However, when it comes to loved ones, saying No is tough.

Buhaha

2006-03-26T10:26:00.000+05:30

Buhahaha.....Hahahahahhaaaa....couldn't control my fits of laughter when i saw this....Hilarious stuff..

Image courtesy: MTV India

Damn

2006-03-24T01:52:00.000+05:30

Well, I was on my way to post something else till I chanced upon Annie's post. The images are very interesting and many among them have moved me. This post is just an emotional reaction of mine regarding a picture I saw.

This one has seriously disturbed me. So what they are prostitutes, I don't think they deserve this....I know, it's their decision to work, I know. However, this line"One of the many prostitutes who work until the last day of their pregnancies." just brings a chill within me. I somehow don't feel that it is right. I think prostitutes should have maternity leave too :( Very depressing....

Random musings

2006-03-22T00:22:00.000+05:30

**Before I start writing my new post just wanted to inform that my previous post was not about the forward that I received. It was about the thought provoking response I received for that forward. So, please scroll down and make it a point to read it. **

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I read this and I felt sad. I don't know Sowmya personally. Neither do i know her as a blogger. Though, I had seen her comments in various posts, I somehow never bothered to check her blog. However, when I read Chakra's post informing about her demise, I felt bad. You know, it is very weird to read a blog of a dead person :| It really is. I cannot imagine what the family would be going through. I know, death is inevitable, a harsh fact of life. However, I just wonder, how would it be for the family to go through her blog post her demise. Would it threaupatic for the family or would it prove to be a hindrance for them in 'moving on....'? It's a very weird situation. At the end of the day, I just pray god that her soul rests in peace.

**************

Couple of days back I went to meet Mr S for one of my stories. I knew Mr S as I interacted with him earlier too. It was just that I was meeting him after a couple of months. I reached his house and I rang the bell. Mrs S answered the door.
Me: Hello, is Mr S at home?

Mrs S: [puzzled expression] Aaapan Kon? {Whose this?}

Me: Oh, I am Shobha. Remember I had met Mr S in connection with a story I had done earlier. Is he there? I wanted to talk to him regarding a story I am doing now.

Mrs S: Oh, tey vaarley {he expired} [ I should add that the way she informed me about his death was really weird. Her tone was as if she was informing me that he's not home. No melodrama, absolutely matter of fact. :|]

Me: WHAT?????? Oh shit... I am so sorry....

Mrs S then proceeded to give me the details while I stood there shell shocked. She explained to me about Mr S's death in a very matter of fact way. I apologised profusely and after few minutes left the place. This was a perfect "what is life?" moment. I mean, I just go to meet someone and I get informed that he died. He was a sweet man, a very active citizen. Damn it.... This was the last thing that I had expected. I swear weird things happen to me....Dear God, may his soul rest in peace too...

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I am talking too much about death na....Ok, let me give you a cool news. Let me introduce my Pakistani buddy to all you guys for he has stepped his baby feet in the world of blogdom. He is one of my nicest friends, an absolute sweetheart. Ok world, drumrolls please.....

Welcome NOOR

Please guys, go and visit his blog. He is a very interesting person and an Indophile. I am sure none of you would be bored. You know, currently he's facing a weird problem. He cannot access his blog hosted by Blogger/Blogspot. This is because, post the Danish cartoons controversy, the Pakistani government had banned many webjournal sites including blogger. Read more here Though he can write entries, edit them, he cannot view them in his blog. An optimist that he is, he feels it would be a temporary glitch. Anyways, visit his blog, it would make an enjoyable read.

P.S. In a very weird way....Noor's latest post also talks about death :|

Response to the Tribute FWD

2006-03-17T00:57:00.000+05:30

Couple of weeks back I received this mail as a forward. {Please read the response to the forward below}

Late Mr. Surjan Singh Bhandari

N.S.G. Commando

During The Attack on Akshardham temple on 24th September 2002 this Brave Man fought the greatest battle of his life. Yes he was the N.S.G. Commando Late Mr. Surjan Singh , who sacrificed his life for the Nation. Sadly On 19th May 2004 he lost the Toughest an d Longest battle against life exactly after 600 Days being in Coma, he lost this life.

The Bullet which hit him in the head made him Unconscious for almost 600 days. His family members were hoping that one day their Hero will open his eyes but he didn't.

It was the Longest Wait for the family members of this Brave Man. When the whole India was busy in Guessing Who will be the Next PM of the country - Will it be Sonia or will it be Manmohan Singh, This man was fighting his Last battle. But it's so sad that in the hype of all the Political Drama, the News about his Death was Lost like a needle in a hay stack! Even the leading News Papers & So Called Best News Channels of India which Works on 24 X 7 basis, failed to highlight this story of the Brave Man. Unfortunately it was mentioned somewhere on the middle page of some newspaper.....This was the Reward for the Brave task for which he lost his life.

Besides his Family members, only one thing was there with him during those toughest 600 days. It was there near his bed till the last Moment. Can you guess what it was?............... It was the "Tiranga", yes! Our National Flag, which was saluting him for his Great cause. Absolutely No words can suffice our Gratitude towards him...

If news papers refuse to cover, TV channels refuse to cover, let us do our bit.

Please forward this mail to as many people as you can.

This is the only way we can salute his Bravery...

As a reply to this mail, I received another mail by mr Vijayan M J of Pakistan India People's Forum for peace and democracy. It was such a thoyght provoking mail that I could not stop myself from posting it here. Therefore with due permission, I reproduce the response to that forward.

Dear friends (response to mail below),

As an Indian, I fully support remembering (forever), sacrifices made by
brave men like Mr. Surjan and feels that we need to challege the 'selective'
public/governmental and media memory also... But do we only remember these
(like our media does to Kargil heroes and those jawans and officers who get
killed in Kashmir or other disputed areas of this great nation)?

Am asking this question and taking time to write this note as I feel mails like the one below are part of our own fraud attempts to forget these people and their 'sacrifices' and 'martyrdom' and an effort to boost our morale and patriotism. This is a self-inflicted 'feel good' that we are upto. Some get goose pimples by involving in this sort of nationalistic/patriotic/jingoistic acts. But sadly neither does this kind of e-activism contribute to remembering people like Surjan or others who have at different levels given their life for any cause, nor does these help prevent deaths of future surjans...

Do we know why??? Because it is an established national defence policy of countries like India and US (among some others) to waste people on the armed front and this is no guess - some of us are involved in related studies. We are an over populated country (as we have been repeatedly told) and it does not matter to us how many jawans of Indian origin are getting killed in internal egoistic battles that we have been figting over the past 59 years. We have prepared speeches that officers patriotically deliver when jawans and fellow men die to militant bulltes or grenades in Kashmir, Nagaland or elsewhere. We have ready press releases from the Ministry of Home afairs for them and about those who killed them (blaming ISI for every action in this country - like Pakistan blames RAW).

But we do not want to stop these killings or make sure atleast that we try our best to support the lives of those who are better living then dead. This forces me to say, in India, we prefer some soldiers dying every year (that too, thanks to Bofors scams where we end up buying fake weaponry, we eat money from their coffins even - like what our defence minister and co did during kargil, we boast about their sacrifice to their country after their death and immediaely forget about them, and most importantly we think - even while reading this mail that all these are problems created by a section of us called politicians, alone)...

As a people, we have done nothing to expose the culprits of Kargil war - those in our intellingence and political circles, who thought it was not even important to inform our soldiers in advance that Pakistani army had already dug graves for them, this left a thousand soldiers killed (in a semi-war that was necessary for the then BJP to survive in power and three US weapon companies to promote their arms trade with GOI). We do nothing when we hear about the regular 'practise warfare' that our soldiers are taught to fight in Kashmir - including the rapes, the fake encounters and the disappearances... Lets leave romanticism aside and ask ourselves since when is raping a woman important to protect our national sovereignity and integrity. I have heard from soldiers and more embarassingly from army officers that "since the women in Kashmir lift their skirts for Jehadis to make more jehadis, it is an important anti-insurgency strategy to sexually and pysically thrash them"... Would you and I stay quite if that was to happen in our backyards in Kerala, West Bengal or Maharashtra? Imagine Indian army man doing this to you or your sister and you will never utter the word patriotism (the way it is pronounced now by jingoists) again in your life, I promise...

So here we have a serious problem in hand. A government which has a policy to waste men in conflicts or to (expired) Mig-29 crashes on the one hand and WE who only want to remember the men who get killed by orchestrated and planned actions of any tom dick or harry...

Please remember, rarely people are born mad to kill others or to get killed on the first instance. They are taught and trained to do so in most instances... *Everyone, including our soldiers*, our *agricultural workers*(who are committing suicide in thousands in our villages due to starvation -
they are also equally patriotic and are giving their life for the nation, they pay the price for a nationally accepted policy called advanced capitalism), *our students* [yes they do get killed very often in Kashmir (remember fake encounters, whic govt has officially apologised for, now), in Meghalaya (ten school students were killed by state police and CRPF, for demonstrating against an unjust educational policy), in Assam (when they tried to protect the dignity of a fellow girl student, who was asked for favours by some jawans travelling in the train)], *our rural folk and tribal* *country men and women* in Kalinga Nagar (in Orissa) for asking the government to give their land back to them and not to MNCs and Indian corporates, etc etc *deserve to be remembered. None's life is more precious than some others... *

Unlike what our media tells us, there is no point in getting agitated only when a Manu Sharma laughs at our system and gets away with a murder in public, because of money power, we need to be equally agitated and active when Narendra Modi mocks justice in Gujarat and get away with killing 2000 of them or when Indira Gandhi and Rajiv got away with killing thousand of Sikhs in Punjab, Tamils in Sri Lanka (through our IPKF), etc... Is there an sms number of a channel I can send 'punish' to get Warren Anderson (of the famous Bopal Gas tragedy fame) punished for criminal negligence that resulted in a genocide of Indians!!! Will Bush and Manmohan be talking this time about bringing that fellow to justice??? No, never...

I realise life is not 'Rang De Basanti' and that this mail has already tested your patience. But let us atleast not fool ourselves and get bitten by patriotism and nationalism + concern for our fellow country men and women, only when it is convenient to us - to get goose pimples. Their memories and our lives are worth more than that!!!

Thanks to those who reached this part of the mail

Vijayan MJ

My story---Blank Noise Project

2006-03-07T00:31:00.000+05:30

As a policy, I usually stay away from writing extremely personal stuff in my blog. However, today I make an exception. For the first time ever, I am penning down extremely personal thoughts regarding sexual harrasment at streetplaces. Yup, it includes an harrowing experience that I went through. Trust me, it still seems weird. I never thought I could do it i.e. share my experience eith anyone. However when I read about BlankNoiseProject, I convinced myself that I will write about it. Well, it wouldn't just be a social commentary, but also sharing an experience that almost scarred me. I don't want any sympathy. I am writing it because for me, this is an opportunity to come out and accept what happened to me. I am writing for myself.

I still remember the day. It was a republic day and I was in 9th standard. I was all set to go to my school for the republic day parade and to attend other celebrations. I was on my way to school with one friend who happened to be a year senior to me. we were both walking and suddenly a man walking to my left suddenly came from nowhere and cooly groped me and left. I stood there rooted at the spot unable to comprehend what had just happened to me. I kept wondering what to do since I could see that bastard walking down coolly as if nothing happened. Finally I screamed, "Pakdo....usko....catch hold of him." However once I screamed, that coward ran away. I couldn't control anymore and burst crying. The friend who was along with me couldn't understand what was happening. She thought that it was a thief who stole something. I told her what happened. I don't know how I did that, but well, she got the drift. We were just a minute away from school and an autowallah came by and seeing me cry asked me what happened. Both of us stood there staring at him blankly wondering what o tell him. I think, he got the drift and asked us to hop into his rickshaw and dropped us in the school.

I went to our school ground. I couldn't bear to see anyone. Guilt and shame engulfed me. I didn't go to the place wherein my class students were standing, I did not want to go anywhere near them. Usually on the Republic day, students from all the students come to attend the parade simultaneously, it's huge ground. I stood with the primary section children, at the fag end of the line. I stood there like a statue unable to still stomach what had happened to me. All the two hours that i was in school, I had my head down. I couldn't bear to look above. I tried to control the tears which came rushing.....however I was sucessful only to a certain extent. I wanted to cry, cry loudly and badly. i was embarrased, embarrased to the core. A feeling of revulsion overtook me, i couldn't face myself.

Finally it was time to go home. I somehow went home. I rang the bell and appa opened the door. I entered the house and then the volcano burst. I just burst crying, I couldn't control anymore. i somehow managed to control myself in school. My parents were confused, they didn't know what happened to me. I told them. Both Amma and appa just looked at me helplessly. I howled, I did not know what else to do. I was all of 13. I was consoled. Later I was told, "Don't tell this to anyone haan beta." I heard it and kept quiet. I tried not to think of it and yea not to tell anyone about it.

Days passed by, but the memories did not. It still haunted me. The groping....it hurt. The physical hurt had gone but the mental scars remained. I felt guilty and ashamed. yea...I did, for no fucking fault of mine. I couldn't even talk to that friend who was with me that day. I would just change my route if I find her walking in the same road. i would run away from seeing her since I felt ashamed, she reminded me about that incident which i was desperately trying to forget. From then on, whenever I would be late at home, amma and appa would always fret. "Look, don't be late, remember what happened that day na?" I would listen and nod, blankly, totally understanding. I know they are concerned. But I don't know why it functions the way it is. I HATE IT. I am not allowed to go out late because men will letch at me, or there is a danger of molestation. WHY? WHY? WHY? Why do I live in such a world dominated by men wherein WOMEN HAVE TO ADJUST TO THEIR MISDEEDS? I still don't have an answer. I have to conform many a times that's practical. But I still wonder.

Years passed on. I was in FYJC {11th std} I was talking to one of my buddies. She told me how she was also molested in a similar manner. I was shocked. I was shocked that it happened to others too. Till that time, i hadn't spoken to anybody about it. I wonder why....That incident had scarred me so much that I refused to talk about it. I kept mum and acted as if nothing happened. Anyways, when I heard it, I was amazed as to how my friend was narrating it to me without any guilt and shame in an absolutely matter-of-fact way. Somehow that was a threaupatic experience. I realised that I wasn't the sole victim at all.

From then on, I was more alert and I became more assertive. I would scream loudly if someone brushed aside me. I have beaten up guys who have tried to act fresh. If I find someone staring, I simply go and ask them, "Kya hain? Kya dekh raha hain? kaam dhanda nahi hain kya?" {What? what are you looking at? No work or what? } Most of the times they chicken out. A cold hard stare back most of the times works. Never let them stare at you. Stare back and hard and mutter abuses.

Just two days ago, I was getting home at 12 in the night. I was alighting from the rickshaw when a qualis went past me with hooligans hooting. i stood there and abused them in the most filthy language. I stood there till they disappeared from my eyesight. The autowallah stood there and told me, "jaane do, madam." I was so angry. I looked at him and said, "Jaane kaise doon? Aise logon ko gaali dena chahiye, nahi toh aise karte rahenge." {Leave it ma'am. } {How can I simply let go? we have to abuse such people, otherwise they will keep doing it.} I wanted the hooligans to know that they can't always get away with doing everything. And that not all the girls will simply put their head down and walk away when you eve tease. But I also wonder that iw as able to do this since it was my area, my locality. The familiarity helps since if anything happens, you know people will just come to help even at midnight. I wondered if I would have been able to do the same in an unknown place. I would have probably put my head down and walked off. I cringed at the very thought. I hated myself for that. But well, that's the reality.

But what am I doing to protect myself? Well, I am thinking to join a self-defence classes. I have to learn the techniques. Coz no one else is gonna help me especially when I need the most. Self-defence techniques should be introduced in schools. It's surprisingly, rather than empowering the girls, it's their freedom that is always restricted. Che....

Even today, society views a woman who has undergone molestation, rape etc with shame. I mean, nothing is done to remove the shameful feeling. I remember a case when a group of parents had written to the school complaining about a teacher misbehaving with the girl students. The school surprisingly did not do anything. Frustrated, they gave the same complaint letter to the police. The police asked them to file a polcie complaint. THEY REFUSED. I was shocked. They told me that they did not want to file a polcie complaint since they did not want to spoil their daughters' future. "Their names and all will come in the polcie complaint. We will have to explain in details as to what happened. Many of them would have to be married in another 5 years. It would prove difficult then." WHAT THE FUCK....I wondered. But well, that's what happened. Did you see, that the victim is made to feel shameful. Even though, the family is with the victim, they never empower her to take a bold step. I understand it would be difficult. However, the step needs to be taken. Whilst doing this, the victimiser walks freely while the victim is made to feel guilty and ashamed. Weird na? I wonder what message are the parents sending to their girls? "Too bad that something like this happened. However you are not telling anyone about this coz what happened was shameful even though it wasn't your fault." ha.....bloody society. Bloody patriacrchy. I just wish the parents instill the confidence in child that despite the lack of support, one should be brave enough coz simply, it isn't you fault, child. Please, that's the best thing you can give your girl.

Despite all this, I still have to come to terms with the first experience I had. This is the first time I am writing about it. First time, i am letting even my friends know about it. Enough is enough. We girls don't ask for it. No one likes to be molested. Also we also value our freedom. Freedom to be ourselves. Unfortunately it's a battle to be fought and fight we will since enough is enough.

However, all said and done, Blank Noise project could also have men down their experiences of sexual harassment. Well, as we all know, even men aren't spared.

Danish cartoons controversy

2006-03-02T10:20:00.000+05:30

Hello everyone... The culture editor of the Danish Newspaper Jyllands-Posten writes why he published those cartoons. {For the uninitiated, here is the background to the whole controversy}

Childish. Irresponsible. Hate speech. A provocation just for the sake of provocation. A PR stunt. Critics of 12 cartoons of the prophet Muhammad I decided to publish in the Danish newspaper Jyllands-Posten have not minced their words. They say that freedom of expression does not imply an endorsement of insulting people's religious feelings, and besides, they add, the media censor themselves every day. So, please do not teach us a lesson about limitless freedom of speech.

I agree that the freedom to publish things doesn't mean you publish everything. Jyllands-Posten would not publish pornographic images or graphic details of dead bodies; swear words rarely make it into our pages. So we are not fundamentalists in our support for freedom of expression.

Read more.....

In his column, he justifies his right to publish the cartoons. He says, "Has Jyllands-Posten insulted and disrespected Islam? It certainly didn't intend to. But what does respect mean? When I visit a mosque, I show my respect by taking off my shoes. I follow the customs, just as I do in a church, synagogue or other holy place. But if a believer demands that I, as a nonbeliever, observe his taboos in the public domain, he is not asking for my respect, but for my submission. And that is incompatible with a secular democracy."

{with reference to the comments} Atlas asked me that there is nothing wrong with the justification. Well, the argument doesn't hold true all the time. The cartoonists drew a caricature of Prophet Mohammad which according to Islam is blasphemous. Any form of depiction of Prophet Mohammad is prohibited since it would promote idol worship and Islam doesn't approve idol worship. Atlas, how will majority of hindu community feel if pics of Lord Ganesha or Lord Krishna is used as toilet covers {its a real instance?} Well, it may not really make much of a difference to the non-hindu population. but well, of course majority of the Hindu population will be offended and will protest coz their religious sentiments would be hurt. See, there are always jokes made about religions. However, it's an invisible line which if you cross, then expect angry reactions. See, everyone needn't have the same kind of tolerance level. However if a large number of people's sentiments been hurt, then you have done something wrong. Well as I said earlier, the whole world needn't see each other through the Westerner's glasses....

The first thing that stuck me when I was reading his justification was the fundamental difference in the way the West and the East viewed relegion. I think the West fails to realise the enormity of the situation. They are quite baffled by the entire controversy and regard the whole fallback of the cartoon incident as "they-have-no-work-so-they-will-protest" kind of of an attitude.

But it is high time that they see the world with a different outlook. It's high time they see the world from an ordinary Easterner's point of view. For the simple reason, RELEGION HERE FORMS THE BASIS OF A PERSON'S IDENTITY. No one takes it kindly if there is a threat to a person's identity. When you attack the crux of the beliefs a person has had all his/her life, how do you expect them to understand your point of view of freedom of speech? Things don't work this way Boss. It doesn't. (I had posted something a similar incident few days ago.

I totally understand the freedom of expression argument. However your freedom of expression doesn't give you the right to hurt someone. If there have been protests all over the world, there has been something fundamentally wrong that you have conveyed through the cartoons to have elicited such a violent reaction. Of course, I am not justifying the violent reactions. Everyone has a right to prtest. However if you want your case to be legitimately heard, then you should make sure that your protest is non-violent.

However, when I read incidents like these {link via kiruba} I somehow get a feeling that the West hasn't made an attempt to understand the psyche of the majority of the people for whom Relegion is more than just faith. Mind you, I am not justifying the violent act. I am just delving deep into the reasons that might have prompted them to do something so henious. The westerners might just dismiss it off as a cyclic barbaric reaction of islamic community. but I think, they should atleast now try to understand the way RELEGION is percieved in this part of the land.

The bottomline is when you say that you respect other relegions, you can divorce it by saying that I don't have to follow other relegions' tabboos. You don't have to follow, perfectly fine. But you also don't have to act, comment on it in such a way that it becomes a like an insult to their beliefs, something they really hold very dear.

R K Narayan

2006-03-02T01:22:00.000+05:30

Please, check the blogathon at the end of the post and spread the word

The first book of R K Narayan that I laid my hands on was 'My Days', his autobiography. It's a small book. It is unusual since autobiographies are usually huge. Now, people would wonder that reading My Days would have been a bad idea especially since I hadn't read even a single novel or essay by him before that. However on the contrary I think that is one of the best things I have done. Reading R K's autobio gave me an insight of his personality. After that, I could actually sense his personality even in his fictional works.

I think it's a compliment to an author and his writing skills that the reader is able to decipher his/her personality even in a fictionalised account. He simply amazes me. I could never for once fathom that a person like him existed in an era wherein orthodoxy ruled roost. Most of the typical idiosyncrasies of Tam-Brams that he has written about in the year 1950s-60s hold true till date. I can imagine how tough it must have been for him to retain his sanity amidst such enormous stupidity and pressure and still remain such a liberal minded person and also retain his honesty at that.

HONESTY--->That's one quality I thought that oozed from his autobio. But it was heartening to note that even his other novels also had the same endearing quality. For me, personally, nothing can be more appealing than honesty and simplicity. He had that in abundance. His writings are so simple, so lifelike and filled with mischief, that it almost seems like I know him personally. He is the first author who has made me cry, howl if I may add. Yup, reading , The English teacher, did that to me. Man, how can someone love someone so much.........Sigh...{Please read it guys, if you haven't yet}

This incident triggered off this post. Today, one friend of mine told me how she hunted and finally found R K Narayan's house in Mysore. She said, "The house was locked. It is almost like a ghost house. There's no one. However i just stood by the gate and looked inside." When i heard her, I had goosebumps all over. I just visualised my friend standing by thr house and I just thought she was so lucky. To just envisage R K staying in the house writing the evergreen classics is just an inexplicable feeling. Even I wanna go there. Even i wanna relive the moments that R K might have spent there. Damn, too bad, I started reading him after his death only :( One of my life's biggest regrets. However as cliched as it may sound, he's alive through his writings. and Well....I love you Mr R K Narayan. There's just no one like you, no one ever....
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Blog-a-thon 2006

Marking our one year foray into the blog world, we’ve decided to host a Blog-a-thon on the issue of street harassment. No, you don’t have to run anywhere (thankfully) to participate, you’ve just got to get to your computer this TUESDAY (7th MARCH) and post your thoughts on street harassment/ eve teasing on your blog. You can write about anything related to the topic: testimonies, opinions on harassment, comments about the Blank Noise project, would all be great. It doesn't matter where you're from, where you live, or whether you're a man or a woman - we'd love to have you on board. If you’d like to participate, send an email to blurtblanknoise[AT]gmail.com before the coming Monday (6th March). We’ll add your name and blogsite to the ‘running’ list of participants on the Blank Noise blogsite so that everyone can see what everyone else is writing about the topic. Also, just to get the maximum number of people 'out' for this event - we'd request that you put up a posting on your blog prior to Monday to encourage other people to participate, and to let them know to check your blog on Monday. So join one, join all!

On our way to "No more Satyendra Dubeys" Road

2006-02-24T01:03:00.000+05:30

Well after I had cribbed enough in this post, I would like to inform you guys about this. I want to do more than only cribbing in my blog. I have started believing that it doesn't really pay to be conscientious people in India. After the Satyendra Dubeys, Manjunaths, there comes the verdict of Jessica Lal. Read this wonderful post. Weird is the fact that I am no longer shocked at the pathetic scheme of things. I need to end this indifference of mine. For starters, I am posting this initiative on my blog. (Courtesy: Gaurav Sabnis )

Feb 23rd is the birthday of Manjunath Shanmugam - an IIM L (2003) alumnus who lost his life for his fight against corruption. He died on November 19th, 2005.

As a Sales Manager with Indian Oil Corporation Ltd. (IOCL), Manju turned down bribes and ignored threats, to do his job – check rampant adulteration of petrol. He was shot dead in Lakhimpur Kheri by a petrol pump owner and his gang.

To most of us, though we never met him, Manju is extremely familiar and is, in part, within every one of us. This is one cause we CANNOT turn away from. We have no excuse. We must ensure that his death does not go in vain.

The Manjunath Shanmugam Trust is now a legal entity with 2 trustees - Anjali Mullatti (IIML ’93) and H. Jaishankar (IIMB ’91).

The immediate and urgent focus of the trust is to take up the legal battle and ensure quick justice for the murder case. The murderers must not go free.

The broader objectives of the trust are

a. To establish and maintain an award for individuals/institutions working to uphold the values of truth and honesty in the face of danger to themselves.

b. To provide aid to individuals fighting a legal battle to uphold the values of truth, honesty or justice in the Indian corporate, government or public matters.

For updates on what we have done to date and our next steps, please visit the trust website:
www.manjunathshanmugamtrust.org

How can you help?

Firstly – funds are needed to pay lawyers’ fees, case costs, build an award corpus.. this will be a long and tedious battle. Please donate just one day’s salary for the cause.

Our first donors: Rs. 44,500 ($ 1000) from Sanjay Khanduri, Wharton Class of 2006, and Rs. 30,000 from Akhil Krishna, IIML 2003.

Secondly, if you can commit time and effort, please write in and be part of the team.

Thirdly, if you have close contacts in media, police, legal, judiciary who can help, please let us know.

It is heartwarming that so many people have already reacted immediately and generously – across the spectrum of media, legal, police and the IIM fraternity. Be part of that group.

How do you donate?

Write a cheque favouring ‘The Manjunath Shanmugam Trust’ , and courier it to:
2909/1, Raghavapriya, 3rd Main, V.V. Mohalla, Mysore 570 002, India

Write a cheque favouring ‘The Manjunath Shanmugam Trust’ , and deposit it in any HDFC bank drop box, with a deposit slip, account number 0651000091870.
Do an online money transfer , to the HDFC Bank a/c , from your ICICI /HDFC/Citibank a/c. Account number 0651000091870. 'Select MG Road, Bangalore' in the branch details.

Currently FCRA regulations prohibit us from accepting foreign remittances - we're working on getting special permission. For now, please route all overseas donations via your regular Indian rupee accounts.

We have also applied for income tax exemption for donors under Section 80 (G).

Please contact me for any further clarifications - anjali@corporateacademy.com.

Regards,

Anjali Mullatti - IIML class of '93
Catalyst Consulting

Mumbra

2006-02-23T01:12:00.000+05:30

There is just so much written about the controversy about the Danish cartoons which depicted prophet Mohammad illciting angry reactions from all voer the world. Though this incident happened before that, it still is a bit similar to the Danish Cartoon Controversy. Wanted to share this experience with you guys. .

Three weeks back..

It was a regular Sunday for me. There I was cribbing about going to work on a Sunday. Little did I know, what was in store for me in due course of the day. On my way to work, my train stopped and well I learnt it was a rail roko. It was Mumbra station.

My train stopped and I wondered why. I got down and look around me. Everybody was confused. Nobody knew why trains were stopped and why were stones being pelted. I set out to investigate. Now, Mumbra enjoys a very stereotypical reputation amongst the general public. Suffice to say, I had never stepped into Mumbra before. Victim of stereotypical notions of Mumbra that I was, I stepped into the main road outside the station with a little bit of hesitance. I know it is downright stupid, but well, I am just being honest. For the uninitiated, Mumbra is, for a want of better word, a ghetto for Muslims. Majority of the population is Muslim and whilst walking in some lanes you almost sense a feel of time wrap. Sadaf Manzils, Noor beauty parlours dominate the setting. What I mean to emphasize here is the typical Muslim setting. However, it is also equally notorious for being a terrorist hangout. It is a generalisation; however, Mumbra has always been looked at with doubtful eyes.

Anyways, I stepped down there and bumped into few protestors. They told me that a popular English daily in Mumbai had published a picture of a woman with Koranic verses being printed on her back. They claimed that it was “Islam ki tauheen” i.e. an insult to Islam and that they are protesting against it.

I started scouring the place. I met a policeman who took me to a place wherein there was some kind of organised protest. I landed there and started talking to one person. Apparently he happened to be a self anointed leader of the motley group. Immediately I was surrounded by almost 150 ANGRY men with only one woman amidst them, that being me. I started talking to them. One thing was sure, they were very offended.

For the first time I saw raw anger in the eyes of the people. I was scared for a moment. I was surrounded by a huge mob of MEN. There I was alone representing the journo janta talking to them. It was intimidating being the lone representative of the ERRING fraternity. I could see many members in the crowd were getting agitated with simplest of my questions. Many a times the crowd raised slogans of Allah-O-Akbar right in the middle of the conversation. There were times I felt that I would be harmed by the crowd. However I think it pays to be a woman during times like these. No matter what, in a public domain, woman journalists are respected. I am sure had there been a male counterpart of mine, he seriously would have been thrashed. This is because when a MOB is angry, it doesn’t need logic to be provoked for silly things and a MOB always needs a scapegoat. Thankfully I did not become one.

It was a really funny sight. The very crowd which had brought about the rail roko were seen giving water to the passengers stuck in the train. I was speaking to some police officials when one of them retorted how the Muslim population have less tolerance level. What I saw that day was how the anger reflected a sense of assertion of their identity. Karl Marx has quoted it so rightly; Religion is the opium of masses. In India it is more so, it acts as identity for so many people. When your identity is threatened, you resort to extreme means coz then it means question of survival. The mob was spontaneous and was not held by any single organisation. The police themselves revealed that it would have been easier for them had it been promoted by any single organisation. This being a motley bunch of people from all over the place, makes matters more complicated. This is because, even if you have ended up pacifying a group of people, one can never be sure about having pacified the whole junta. A small spark can ignite a fire. I hope you guys are getting a drift.

One educated man who was seen hovering around told me how he did not approve of the rail roko. However he added, do other means achieve ends? No, unfortunately in our country, it doesn’t really help. Therefore we have to resort to unconstitutional methods to garner attention.

The publication had issued an apology. However the crowd wanted none of it. The same EDUCATED man the goes on to tell, “What is the point in apologising? This is like kissing a girl. If I kiss a girl in the middle of the road and then say sorry, it’s only the girl I have ended up harming. Nothing happens to me. There is no point in saying anything to the girl since you have already harmed her.”

I seriously felt like slapping him tight hard. Bloody rascal. I am sorry for the choice of the words. But I am abusing since I live in such patriarchal set up and that I can’t do much to change a common mind set. It’s really sad that people with such kind of mindset still exist. The notion of PURITY, IZZAT of a woman are a result of a fertile imagination of a man bred in an absolute patriarchal set up. There I go, I drift again. But I was just angry, some how controlled myself.

However later, the mob was pacified and they stopped the rail roko. One local marathi paper spoke about why didn’t they protest when M F Hussain painted godess Saraswati in nude? I am against all those actions which hurt the religious sentiments of people which ever religion they belong to. Such newspapers only bring about hated in the society. One wrong cannot be undone by another wrong. Che.

I personally feel Freedom of expression comes with some responsibility. However, even if there has been a mistake, I think every offended community has a right to protest. But, there is no point in getting violent. The whole point of protest is lost.

I again went to Mumbra few days later for another story. I met a man who thanked me profusely for coming there. He told me, “People have such a bad impression about Mumbra. Thanks for coming. I have been living here for the past 35 years and I love it.” This comment was from a Hindu person. I really felt bad that day. Felt bad because of how the mainstream media have more of less ignored them as a whole.

Rang de Basanti

2006-02-05T10:57:00.000+05:30

I had wanted to see the movie right from the time I saw the promos. Finally I watched it, almost a week after its release. As I have said earlier, I don’t consider myself as a reviewer at all since I know zilch about the technical aspects of filmmaking. However I wanted to comment about the content of the movie, a topic I am really passionate about, something I really feel strongly about. I would be giving my personal take about various issues addressed in the movie. Ok, there are so many thoughts brimming in my head after watching the movie that I just don’t know where to start.

About the movie in short:
All the actors have essayed their roles wonderfully. They have lived their roles. I loved Sukhi aka Sharman Joshi in the movie. He is just way too cute. There was an element of Saif Ali Khan hangover. But, he was the cutest in the movie. Siddharth Narayan was also awesome. His character was so Ajay Devganish….Aamir Khan’s character is kind of similar to the one he essayed in Dil Chahta Hain. Not overtly similar, but the essence is kind of same. Kunal Kapoor is HOT. I thought he could have done with a better dialogue delivery. Personally I feel Atul Kulkarni was like super best. Amazing Actor, loved him in the movie. Soha Ali Khan and Madhavan were also good. Special mention for Alice Patten. Lovely actress. She actually spoke HINDI and emoted so well, WOW. Music is rocking. The saying, “A thing for beauty is a joy forever” just fits in so well with regards to his music. God bless you Mr Rehman, you have no idea how many hearts you gladden with your wonderful music. Words fail me to express the brilliance of his music.

My views:
I am really impressed with the subject tackled in the movie. After all candyfloss movies which dominate Hindi cinema today, this movie is such a welcome change. I felt the same when I saw YUVA. Probably I think most of the Hindi movies do not portray the youth of India in a proper manner. I don’t really subscribe to the violent extremism adopted by the protagonists in the movie. I do not think it is a solution at all.

Took a stand:
However what I loved about the movie is that it took a stand. The youth took a stand which they were convinced about. The youth in the movie decided to adopt violence as a mean to achieve justice. You know what is criminal? Indifference is; Apathy is. Indifference coupled with cynicism is a dangerous combo. The fact that the youth took a stand is refreshing enough. Nowadays, I see a lot of indifference amongst us.

Anecdote 1:
The other day I was attending a seminar wherein the topic addressed was, “Is youth activism alive in India?” A speaker made a very interesting comment with regards to Mumbai. He said, youth activism in Mumbai is not all that rampant. However impose a dress code and you will see the rebellion. You will hear voices against it. I just wondered that it reflects such a sorry state of affairs. Only if personal freedom is threatened, does a youth protest. Agreed, dress code is stupid, however it is sad that the consciousness is aroused only when the personal freedom is threatened. Other more important things don’t really evoke extreme reactions.

Anecdote 2:
The movie talks about how we have to participate in the process to make a difference. I totally agree with them. I remember a conversation I had with a friend who was a Delhi university student. She narrated to me some of her misadventures with the campus elections at the Delhi Uni. She told me how pointless it is to stand for elections if you are sincere even at a campus election. While hearing her, I was totally consumed by envy. I told her how lucky she is to actually witness the whole PROCESS firsthand. The process is a part of the system we are a part of. The more we get acquainted with it, the better. This will further help us generate solutions for the umpteen number of problems we are saddled with. Mumbai University doesn’t have any sort of campus election. The youth is not acquainted with the system. Mumbai is where political apathy is at its worst especially amongst the youth.

History repeats itself
The juxtaposition of past and the present is amazing. I am referring to the Jallianwalla Baug incident and the shootout that takes place at a peaceful rally in the movie. Well, no wonder, people say that history repeats itself. But there something about that juxtaposition that bothers me. It is real. I can’t even dismiss it off as a filmy concoction. When the government we elect becomes tyrannical, then where are we heading to as a society and a country sometimes really worries me.

Let me cite a simple instance. In Ulhasnagar a far flung suburb in Mumbai was in news recently. Acting on a PIL, the High Court had ordered the demolition of 855 illegally constructed and hence unauthorised buildings. However, the Maharashtra Government brought about an ordinance safeguarding most of the structures. The reason that was given that Ulhasnagar is a special case. Humanitarian grounds were also cited. It is a place wherein the Sindhis who had fled Sindh province from Pakistan during partition were given plots to start their lives afresh. I sympathise with the Sindhi Community, but I don't agree with the ordinance. They knew what they were getting into. No point in being linient. However what were the government and the civic body doing when so many illegal constructions came up? If you would note, the very same chief minister had ordered the destruction of lakhs of slum dwellers since according to him they were staying in the city illegally in encroached land. Ok, so aren’t the people staying in illegal constructions in Ulhasnagar staying illegally in Mumbai? Why such different yardsticks for citizens of the same city? This is a direct discrimination against the poor slum dwellers and the comparatively richer and well-off residents of Ulhasnagar. It can be anywhere for that matter, I am just citing the example of Ulhasnagar since it was a recent case. This has just set a dangerous precedent.

The reason why I broached this topic is that I see a very dangerous trend. Well, Here I see that our government totally disregarding the law is using the legislative powers to draft rules which are unfair only catering to the privileged sections of the society. This is just a small example. I don’t see lot of difference between the erstwhile rulers that we were ruled by and the current government. In the pre-independence era, we could battle it out against the outsiders, the Britishers. We could easily blame them. However this time around it is different. The fact that hurts is that this time around we can’t really blame anyone. We elected them, can we really crib? We have to fight amongst ourselves, with the government we elected. That’s not a nice feeling I will tell you. There are loads of injustice perpetrated by the Government themselves that it is not even funny. Many a times they aren’t even reported in the mainstream media. But well, all is not hunky dory at all.

Don’t approve of the violent stand
As I said, I did not like the option of violence that the youth took. In the movie, loss of one life lead to loss of almost all the protagonists. If loss of lives could have stirred the conscience of the nation, the killers of Satyendra Dubey and Manjunath would have been rotting in jail by now. Things don’t happen quickly. We are an ‘Instant Coffee’ generation. We want everything to happen NOW. That is unfortunately the message reflected by the movie. When loss of lives will not bring about a drastic change, what’s the point in violence? I sincerely believe that there are other ways to bring about a change in the society and though it may take time, we rather use them. I think that’s an incorrect way to deal with any situation. An eye for an eye makes everyone blind. I really do believe in the adage.

Final take:
I don't agree with the option that the youth took. However, the movie deserves a watch. The movie made me think, made me intrsopect. Not many recent movies have succeeded in doing that.

A request:
Anand felt that Rang De Basanti was a regressive piece of Hindi trash. His is one the most extreme negative reaction I have read till date. Anand, I would really like to know why you felt likewise. Care to elaborate? Here, Anand explains why he hated the movie.

Republic Day

2006-01-27T21:36:00.000+05:30

First of all a very happy Republic Day to all of you :)

I got the following message from my friend on Jan 26.

“By sending this message to you, I am wasting 2 bucks when we all know that in the other side of the border, Re 1 can avail a roti. So, let’s take a pledge on our republic day…Let’s keep sending messages to each other and starve the PAKIS”

When I read the message, I just started at the screen for some time since the absolute inanity of the message took some time to sink. I mean, nothing in the message makes sense. I wouldn’t have taken this message seriously if not for the last line. It completely put me off.

How does Pak bashing justify our patriotism? I fail to understand it completely. Sending stupid messages like these just spoil the mood of Republic day. People don’t really understand the significance of republic day. For many of us patriotism is aroused only during an Indo-Pak war or worse during Indo-Pak match. Che, whoever is the originator of the message is an absolute waste mind.

Also, seriously do we really need the republic day parade? The show of the military might on the occasion of republic day bothers me. What kind of message are we sending to the world? What are we sending it to our countrymen? If the government needs to display its military might, there can be another day for it? But please stop doing this on a republic day.

I think there are other wonderful ways to celebrate the republic day. In further years to come, I am afraid that republic day will be relegated to just another formal occasion and a holiday for the commonfolk in India. I think we really need to think out of the box in order to celebrate the republic day so that more and more youth who have been born decades after the freedom struggle relate to it, symbolically. Also, I think display of the arm power is unnecessary during a republic day. Rather than showcasing our arms strength, why can’t we showcase people’s power? India is one of the biggest and healthiest democracies. India is also one of the most populous countries in the world. Why not celebrate the great human resource that we have?

We have community festivals like Mumbai festival, Celebrate Bandra, Juhu harama etc. Why can’t we have similar such festivals all over India on Jan 26? I mean we could have all the schools in India coming together with something creative. The youth of India can redefine Indianness. I mean all we need is to toss some ideas, think out of the box and well, we could celebrate republic day in a real better way. I am sure loads of you reading this post might have ideas brimming. Please do share it with me. I think a change is long overdue.

I wonder about life....

2006-01-05T23:58:00.000+05:30

Well, off late I am talking a lot about my career. Ha....do I really have a choice, especially when I spend more than 12 hrs a day at work. Not that I am complaining...I am enjoying every bit of it. But well...I am gonna talk about something related to work only.

Few days ago one friend of mine told me, I think journos are more grounded than people from any other field. I nodded in affirmation. She then proceeded to narrate her experience as an intern in an ad agency where the prime concern for the people after a hard day's work would be where to party....well, that's not bad, I am not generalising out here. But she just felt it was more of a shallow existence. Anyways, I just began reflecting at our lives in general and over here I mean, a journalists' life in general.

We lead different lives. Every single day is different. One day I could be in a slum, the other day i could be in a highrise apartment. I am some of the very few ones who actually see life very closely. I am happy about the fact. However every day poses to me a new challenge. Some days I meet an AIDS victim, other day an AIDS victim's family. One day I meet an artist, one day I meet a pauper. One day I get a chance to go to a discotheque, another day i go to a municipal school. Still there are days when I go a little beyond Mumbai and I feel, shit, how restricted is my reporting....There are thousands of worlds which live here in Mumbai and lakhs beyond it. Not many report about that, including me. I wonder when I will do that.....one day I shall. There are days I meet a mother who has lost a baby, there are days I meet a mother whose son who tops a race. I see pride and grief in a matter of few hours. Sometimes I wonder how to cope up with such myriad situations I inadvertantly become a part of. Sometimes I wonder what it does to me emotionally. In the past few days I have met two families....one wherein one member committed suicide and one who lost her one day old baby. When i listen to them talk, I am sometimes numb. Most of the times numb infact. I think that's the key to survival. Otherwise we species come across so many problems that we would simply die if we aren't numb. but sometimes I wonder if this numbness would lead to indifference. i hope not coz that's a day I will cease to be a human being :|

I remember one day my colleague told me that he's doing a story about a boy who was spanked so hard by his teacher that he had to be admitted to the hospital. Immediately on hearing the story I went like....Oh shit, poor chap, split second later I go like....Super story man :| Typical journo talk I tell you. I sometimes wonder how insensitive I have become. All in the business I think....every thing is a story. As they say, the system has a way to co-opt u....hmmmmm. Finally I pacify myself saying..."Shobha.....thankfully you didn't go Super story and then poor chap....atleast you had the empathy to say poor chap first...."

Patriarchy

2006-01-04T08:52:00.000+05:30

I hate patriarchy.....I hate it. i hate it that I live in a society seeped in patriarchal values. Hate it. Yup, i agree, I have full freedom to live the life as I please, but well.....I do not have absolute freedom either and patriarchy is just so immense that one doesn't even know how it has made an impact in our lifestyle, thoughts, beliefs etc.

Some time back, I was at some party wherein there was ample booze. Now there's this acquaintance who offers me a drink which I refused saying that I don't drink. He looked at me with a smile and said, "Acha hain, ladkiyon ko peena bhi nahi chahiye." {Girls should not drink} I was aghast. I asked him the reason behind such a statement. He looked at me with a look that said, 'How dumb, I am suprised that you are even asking that question :|' There was an awkward silence and then he looks at me and says, "Well, acha nahi lagta na...." What do you mean bya cha nahi lagta? Aur kisko acha nahi lagta? I sometimes don't get it. My being a teetotaller has got nothing to do with the fact that I am a woman. I personally do not like it. and I have lot of problems with men or even women for that matter who think I don't drink because of values, culture and all bull shit. This is not the first time I am coming across reactions like these. But still I am appalled everytime I hear reactions likewise.

This article surely sets me thinking.

She was furious about the reported statement of some senior police officers that she should not have gone to the pub alone or had drinks. “Girls who drink are not necessarily of loose character,” she snapped. “We drink to relax, not to get drunk. It does not give a guy the licence to rape.”

Precisely the point I wanted to make across. It is sad that in our country, even the socalled educated lot harbour thoughts like this. The very notion that women boozing is bad, unmoralistic is what promtps these stupid men to make statements like these when they themselves have no qualms in getting drunk to glory. Blooody arseholes....

The other day I was talking to a friend of mine when I casually asked him if he misses having a sister in his life {he doesn't have any}. He replied in an affirmative. But later added that, having a sister would have meant lot of tensions in his life. I wondered how and asked him. he said that well, I would have been over-protective about her. I personally wouldn't like if she had a boyfriend......I went saying.....How hypocritical :| "You can be a casanova, but she can't have a boyfriend?" He coolly replied yes and walked away. He's a nice chap but I just wondered at the varied thought processes and beliefs people have. In India, over-protectiveness is glorified. I think over-protectiveness is just a masked verion of hypocrisy, it just reeks of it. Being over-protective doesn't mean denying freedom and basic rights to your sister. What applies to you applies to her as well. But some people don't understand it and suprisingly some girls understand it neither.

Well, I have to rush now.....I just had to type this out. But more to follow later, in the next post.

Remembering 2005....

2006-01-04T00:35:00.000+05:30

A Very happy and a prosperous new year to one and all.....Oh well, 2005 just flew by. But I think this has been one of the best years of my life with so many things that happened in my life. To share a few with you guys....

Spent one of my best new year eve nightouts with a bunch of cool buds of mine
My Pakistani friends finally came to India, got to meet them. Got myself involved in tons of activities. It was a whole lot of fun.
I GRADUATED. That's a small landmark of my life.
I visited the tsunami affected areas, a trip that will remain etched in my memory. A life-changing experience for sure. Also made couple of friends, life-long friends for that matter.
GOT MY FIRST JOB. Yayyyyyy.......It was my high school dream to be a journalist. I have not yet reached the place I aspire to be. However I am content about the fact that I have begun my journey. I like the sound of it :D
Almost made to Pakistan....well some how did not....it's fine....great experiences.....better luck next time for me....
Met most of my favourite bloggers. Met Ridhish, Vidya, Bhai >:D<

This year has been one of the best for me personally. So many things happened, so many enw developments took place that sometimes when i sit back and think, I freak out at the fast pace at which things have been happening. My first job has changed a lot of things in my life. Sometimes I feel freaky when I think, Oh my god.....I actually am working, i actually am responsible and that certain people have certain expectations from me and I HAV E TO BE SUPER RESPONSIBLE SINCE I AM PAID FOR ALL THIS......it's a schizhoprenic feeling since am considered as this total kid and an irresponsible one at that at home whilst outside at the professional front, i can be anything but that. Sometimes I wonder where do i stand....am I an irreponsible brat like my parents think I am or am I the so-called responsible person.......oh well.....Let me not even get into it. I have my few resolutions for this year. Well, those are private ones. Lets see if they are fulfilled. I will surely blog about them when I have succeeded achieving them. But now, have to rush coz I am all sleepy. Chalo bye.....

Satyendra Dubey- Part II

2005-11-26T23:50:00.001+05:30

This is sad. Death of Indian Oil Corporation's employee and an IIM-Lucknow's graduate, Manjunathan is simply depressing to say the least. I don't know what else to say because I am just speechless.

This is just a replay of what happened to Satyendra Dubey, an honest man who lost his life to the mafia during Vajpayee's tenure. I had blogged about it, never did I think I would blog about something similar again. Che....

For me patriotism was a value. I don't think it is any longer. Don't take me wrongly but well, I have become cynical. I have to keep reminding myself that i lvie in a democracy. When Satyendra Dubey died, i felt bad. I wanted him to be treated like a martyr. He was treated like a Martyr, but so what? Who knows what's happening to his killers? The last I know is that one of them escapes from the police custody....wow...amazing na.....What a treatment to someone who died for something that was just.... He died for us....He died protesting against irregularities for a project which was funded by OUR money and would have been beneficial to ALL of us. But what happens. Nothing....we all, including me remember only when another honest Indian dies in a similar fashion. As if one Satyendra Dubey was not enough, we now have another.....just the name changes, but another honest citizen dies. Why? I simply don't think it is worth it, losing one's life for this country, for this country's citizens.

I know each and everyone of us has felt bad after these deaths. But why is it that there is nothing being done apart from constant cribbing about the state's indifference....if the collective angst of citizens is so strong, why doesn't it result in the accused being nabbed or being given a harsh punishment. Simply because, I have come to realise NOBODY CARES. NOBODY FUCKING GIVES A DAMN. NO ONE, ABSOLUTELY NO ONE and this includes me too. SAD. Coz had we, the citizens of India really cared, there wouldn't have been a repeat of Satyendra Dubey- Part II. Rather than sitting here and cribbing and protesting about an innocent man's murder, a pro active action by the government would have prevented another innocent death. This would have been possible had we cared, had the citizens been pro active and exerted pressure on the concerned authorities. I am saying citizens since my faith in governance has long gone....only WE THE PEOPLE can do something, concrete if we really wanna. For the MSM also, this is just a piece of news. But when, even a piece of news doesn't manage to evoke public outrage in a large scale manner, then whom are we to blame? That's another story that MSM simply did not care for a few days before it reported about the news....but well.....that's another story in itself. In this country, deaths are easily forgotten. We the citizens of India deserve this and much worse.... No one should loose their lives for a country that doesn't care, for a government that doesn't care. Why, simply why should someone become martyrs for a lost cause? I am not negating the efforts of those people who have not forgotten Satyendra Dubey. but the fact remains that nothing concrete has come out of it which is very sad.

:(

2005-11-22T23:44:00.000+05:30

I wanna blog about so many things. if only I get the time and the energy. Should be blogging about many things soon. Will reply to the comments also soon. Che...I am so irritated....

Expectations

2005-11-12T01:02:00.000+05:30

Expectations cause sorrow, stop expecting things....ultimate path to happiness....

STOP THIS BULL CRAP I SAY.

If you can tell me how to stop expecting things, tell me NOW. Tell me how to go about it. Don't give me faltu ka sermons....As if it is so easy living life like a saint. I am a normal mortal boss.... Anyone who gives me I do not expect things from others and therefore I am content and stuff, I am gonna beat them to pulp....

Doubts

2005-10-15T14:45:00.000+05:30

I was recently talking to a friend of mine and he just told me how useless he feels now that he is in his final year of graduation. "The whole degree is useless", he told me. And I replied, "You feel just three years were a waste, I feel the whole education system in India is a waste." Yup, that sums up my feelings towards the education system in India, a system I literally abhor and I really do not subscribe to.

..........and then I read This article in TOI. It really made me think.

MUMBAI: Three-and-a-half year old Annapurni is a bundle of life and energy who prattles away in four languages and loves reciting her favourite folk tale about a farmer who spills ghee on the grass. Her parents, die-hard environmentalists Ganesh Subramanium and Sarita Pungaliya, have not sent her to school.

Like a small but growing number of parents in the city, they have decided to skip the process of formal education, avoiding the paranoia of school admissions, college entrances and the education rat race. Sampat and Vidya Shetty, parents of a bright four-year-old girl, Sanskriti, are also staunch believers in home-schooling.

"The current education system is more about stress, pressure and rote learning, less about knowledge," says Sampat. "Education today is all about mass-producing clones. With the high level of competition children lose their originality altogether."

The Shettys have both been journalists who in the course of their careers discovered how corrupt the institutions of higher education actually are. Yashodhara Kundaji and Kanwarjit Nagi read up extensively on various systems of education before deciding against putting their six-year-old son Anant in uniform.

"I remember how traumatic my initial years at school were because I didn't want to be separated from my parents," says Yashodhara. "I didn't want to put Anant through it." Outside the structured confines of the classroom these parents have much more freedom to explore other means of education, such as travel.
Continued...

This article talks about how few set of parents in Mumbai who do not believe in the mainstream education system do not send their children to school and prefer schooling them from Home. They echo similar sentiments that I have in mind against the education system in India. They walk their talk, they practise what they preach.

I suddenly began wondering would I be ever as courageous as them. Disgust and contempt towards the current education system not withstanding, is it a right decision to not send your kid to school altogether? Will the child be psychologically affected if s/he doesn't undergo the traditional schooling method? I mean, I am all for alternative schooling and education methods. But is pulling the child out of school totally recommended?

I think whatever said and done, school is one of the most important areas of socialisation for a kid. Howbeneficial it would be for a child? I am just wondering.... There is a quote in the article which talks about how the current education system is a all about massproducing clones and how children loose their originality all together. Well, I believe when you subscribe to a particular system, one does tend to loose the orginality to a certain extent, not completely. It takes lot of guts to do something which goes against the tide but which is something you believe completely. I do not know. I salute these parents coz they are following a path that they believe in despite the obvious opposition. Just makes me glad that ideals still work in this world. However I have my doubts. Can a child be taught about various other things, skills in life while going to a regular school? if not, is taking a child off school completely a right thing to do? I don't know. In future, the child has to survive in this society. Would lack of schooling mean lack of development of social skills? There are just loads of questions inside my mind.

I am all for alternative methods of schooling. But I feel uncomfortable when I think about a child being schooled at home. Coz, the child then misses an important part of his/her socialisation, which is very very important.

Hey Hey hey

2005-10-07T23:44:00.000+05:30

Oh well, hello guys. I am back. Yes, I am very much alive. It's just that work has taken so much precedence over my life that blogging is the last thing in my mind. Anyways, my stupid faulty net connection also did not help matters.

Anyways, I am just wondering what to post. I suddenly realised that tomorrow is Saturday, my weekly off. Yayyy...But I would be working this Sunday, like I have been working for the past many Sundays. :( Man, that can be depressing sometimes. Especially when I ahve Sunday morning blues......Sounds funny na? I remember having written this post Nowadays I crib when a sunday approaches coz it means work after my saturday chutti. Booo hoo...My Saturday also gets over so soon. But for now, I am excited coz I am gonna attend my first catholic wedding, in church and all. What's life if there is nothing to look forward to? So a big, huge reason to cheer and hereby I retire to bed.

Dammit, my most useless post till date, I swear..

Reality shows

2005-09-03T21:27:00.000+05:30

There are way too many reality shows happening on the Indian television scene, isn't it? Way to many I guess....Sony entertainment television introduced Fame Gurukul immediately after the widely watched Indian Idol ended. (Apparently Indian Idol is stated to make a comeback during October, round about the same time fame gurukul is supposed to end....not a good idea I think, viewers would be saturated with similar kind of shows...but well, that's besides the point!)

I was watching Zee TV's Sa Re Ga Ma Pa. There's another talent hunt show happening there. Interesting concept, of pitting contestants affiliated to various Gharanas headed by popular music directors from the Hindi Music fraternity. I am not a regular viewer. I just happened to catch it while surfing channels. One girl Rakhtima from the Adesh Srivastava's team won yesterday. Despite the fact that she won, she started crying. The she confessed on the show that her mom was in the nursing home because she had suffered from an Heart Attack. Poor girl, had to perform under trying circumstances. However what she said later shocked me to the core. Apparently in the last episode which was an R D Burman special, she lost the contest. Her mother could not bear to see her daughter losing and SUFFERED AN ATTACK BECAUSE OF THAT.

Holy crap! I was stunned beyond belief. Shessssssh.....poor girl, so much pressure. I just thought how important it would have been for her to win today. But the point is....I am just plain irritated. The whole thing was dramatised completely as is the Indian style. What might be traumatic to the poor girl would be increasing TRPs for the channel. Sick! In their quest to attain quick stardom, I think the participants fail to realise that the channels are just playing with their emotions. Simply because live drama would just bring in more moolah. There is a singing talent hunt happening in every television channel these days. What happens to those who don't win? They are in the spotlight only for that specific period of time. Post-show, it is struggle time for them again. I don't understand why do they have to subject themselves to such ridiculous scrutinies with a camera looming around them 24/7? Why is there a glaring need to succeed instantly? I don't know, speaks a lot about us, the youth of my generation. Speaks a lot about me too. I think we have just missed the point somewhere. Only a selective few get to the TOP. Otherwise they are just mere pawns to get more TRPs. Sad reality! *Sigh*

Question

2005-08-28T22:57:00.000+05:30

Acha...I have a question. How does it feel after confiding into someone? Do you feel oops....s/he knows everything now or do you feel light? (s/he maybe close friend/relative/sibling etc) I am curious to know about the state of mind as such. Do you ever feel bad? Have you ever felt that you have done a mistake as such? Well...well...well...lots to answer...So...long comments awaited :)

Irritated

2005-08-23T23:23:00.000+05:30

I am just irritated with certain people. People whom you love, you accept them for what they are. However there are certain things I cannot accept anymore. Funniest thing I have told them what's bothering me. But well...DUUUHUHHHHHHHHH! I hate stingy people....people who have all the money on earth but WON'T SPEND. Paisa, hain, nahi hain, ek hi baat hain....kanjoos they will be.all their fucking lives!

Havoc

2005-07-31T22:02:00.000+05:30

Well...much has been said about rains. One must have heard countless stories of bravery, tolerance, mishaps etc. etc. courtesy the media, friends, blogs, magazines and so on. Some of the stories I have heard are chilling. I was fortunate enough to have a relative staying nearby. Things were so bad that my family couldn't go back to our home for 3 whole days. Fortunately Amma, Appa and me were together at my relative's place. However I do have a little experience to share with you. On my way back to my workplace, I hopped into the train which happened to one of the last trains which plied on tracks that day. Suddenly it halted in middle of nowhere with the rains lashing heavily outside. I waited patiently for 15-20 minutes in a hope that the train will start moving. Much to my dismay, I saw other trains also halting abruptly in middle of nowhere. It was then I realised.....Oh oh...I AM STUCK. Gradually ladies in my compartment started getting down. Well getting down isn't very easy because in absence of a railway platform, the distance between the compartment and the tracks below is huge. The ladies started getting down with the help of the chotu ladder installed below. The tracks were full of water. If unlucky, one would just land up inside a naala. Also, some years back amma had done a little bit of jumping from the train and had broken her ankle into 3 pieces. The imaginary warnings of Appa kept ringing inside my head. I tell you, when you left to fend for yourself also, parents' warnings and Dos and Donts don't leave you alone......gr.....! So there I was busy contemplating whether should I jump....well not technically jump, hop out of the train.....hehehe! But then I finally decided that instead of staying inside the train and rotting away the time, I might as well hop down and walk my way to the station. I positioned myself properly and was all geared upto get down, but my legs couldn't find the stairs and I chickened out. I was way too afraid tog et down. Also when you are scared of heights, it doesn't help matters. I stood there looking like a fool. Gradually the number of ladies began to dwindle which prompted me to think about it again. I decided that I would try for a second time. Again I chickened out. Feeling like an absolute loser, I came inside the train . I was all drenched with all my stupid histrionics. (How irritating. Got all drenched but still did not get down.) I enviously looked at the ladies who were all down and walking their way. Then I saw this 60-yr old lady getting down. That was it! Now my ego was hurt. I had to get down. I had a point to prove.....to myself. So I mustered all the courage and decided, ok....I am getting down. Suddenly one gujju lady who had got down, took the initiative of supervision of the remaining ladies' climbdown. My legs again started searching for the stairs and I again panicked. However, this lady grabbed my leg and placed it over the ladder. Thank god, bless her! Finally I got down and I walked up to my way to the station. I finished my work and then went to my relative's place who stayed closeby.

I should confess that this has been one of the most disastrous rains ever faced. It's the not the magnitude of the rains which is alarming, it is the way the infrastructure has literally crumbled is a cause of major worry. In my 20 years of my existence I have never seen the infrastructure crumble like this. Take the railways for example. The lifelines of Mumbai. Heavy rains are not unusual in Mumbai. Neither are the stalling of trains. However usually, the train services resume the next day after an event of a downpour. The torrential rains hit Mumbai on July 26th. The railways have not yet resumed their services properly and there exists only skeleton service for the time being. This is worrying because for the first time I am seeing the city being brought to a halt. No matter what, Mumbai has always bounced back, that's the unique feature of the city. However this time, I see schools, colleges closed. Many people have not been reporting for work. I am afraid that the undaunting spirit which Mumbai is known for has been hit badly. Not because that Mumbaiites have suddenly chickened out. It's because the infrastructure has just tumbled like a pack of cards.

It's the biggest irony that after raining COWS AND BUFFALOES AND HIPPOES, there is an alarming water shortage. I mean isn't it funny....it's the biggest joke. My house has not received water for the past4 days. We received water only today only for 10 minutes :| There are power cuts galore.

There is anger, there is frustration. The administration did not come and help anyone. The people helped each other and that is the real story of the disaster. The feel good factor of the tolerance of Mumbai shouldn't be taken for granted and I am afraid that's what has been happening now. If care is not taken to rectify the situation, I really don't know, it would escalate into something really disastrous.

Sweetmeet

2005-07-25T17:22:00.000+05:30

Aaaah, that's my pathetic attempt to con a word. But well, what the hell. Hello people...How have you all been doing? Life's become hectic for me but well, I met Ridhish and Bhai the other day :D

Ridhish and me started blogging about the same time. We both have known each other for the past 2 years. So I was all excited and looked forward to meeting him. When I started blogging, we belonged to a small coterie of bloggers (aint that a nice collective noun?) who had all started blogging round the same time. Me, Vidya, Ashwin, Ridhish (dumbo, doesn't blog anymore..grrr), Shonu etc. etc. Infact it quite funny. I got acquainted to Mumbai bloggers only after I started visiting Ridhish and Vidya's blogs. And they both reside in Australia. So well, to cut the story short, we both go a long way Also Ridhish is the one who is responsible for the template that I have currently, he designed it for me :D

Pranshu....It was so much fun meeting him too :D An absolute sweetheart :D So, myself, Ridhish, Bhai and BBC decided to meet up and what a meet up it was! As usual, I started my budbud......but I had someone here who just about overtook me as far my chatterbox skills are concerned. Ridhish, I bow to thee....Kitna bolta hain yaar....Hahahahaha! As we both competed as to who spoke the maximum, Poor Bhai and BBC were left with no chance but to keep mum :p But well, this just happened only for 15-20 minutes :p Bhai gave a polite excuse of a sore throat for not talking, but well, we know it better, don't we, Ridhish? ;) hehehhee!

It was just meeting old pals and catching up! I had great fun. Of course, we spoke endlessly...had pav bhaji, coffee, Mayonnaise roll outside my college......Boy, it was one fun day :D You will find masaledar spicy gossip added versions of blogmeet at Bhai and Ridhish's blog (he promised me that he will blog) Don't believe it I say..:p Also, thank you for the books Bhai :D You da best >:D

Reporter's diary--Part 2

2005-07-10T23:33:00.000+05:30

Hmm...So I finally reached the area where the actual family stayed. This family stays in one of the numerous slums Mumbai has. I was directed by a small girl to the house of that family. I am really amazed as to how these people live. It was like a bhool-bhullaiya, by the time I reached the family's house, I was completely lost. I mean the distance between two houses is so small that I can't walk properly...it's like I am walking on a narrow bridge and if someone comes opposite to me, then we both are stranded. I don't know if I am describing the whole scene properly...But well, that's another post altogether. (I really wanna visit the slums of Dharavi, I am wondering when would the visit happen...hmmm) Ok, I went to the house and inside there were two ladies sitting. I thought they were Rajasthanis. Well, when I introduced myself, I could actually see them tremble. I was shocked to see that. I wasn't intimidating, I didn't speak anything wrong. But well, I was prepared for a negative reaction, so did not really mull over it. I tried convincing them once but well, I came out on the main road. I was talking to the little girl when the little girl suggested to me that she will take me to the family's friends' houses. I agreed. I went to another family's house. I began just talking to them about idhar-udhar ki baatein and then broached about the family's topic. Suddenly they started talking in hushed tones. The interaction went something like this....
Family Member (FM): That guy died of AIDs na?
Me: Umm...welll.....ummm........errr... (I wasn't sure whether to open my mouth here) How did you arrive at this decision?
FM: Arrey, it came in the newspaper...
Me: WHAT? (absolutely shocked)

Well, newspapers normally never mention the names, addreses or anything related to the victim. So I was shocked to know how they came to know about it?

FM: Arrey, it came in the XYZ Marathi paper. His name also was mentioned. That's how we all know.
Me: WTF! Do you have the copy of the paper.
FM: Oh yea....here it is..(he removed the paper out of his pant pocket and showed it to me)

I stood staring at the paper, completely shocked beyond my wits. The reporter had not only mentioned the victim's name, he had also mentioned his address. SICKOS! Now I knew why the family trembled. I can visualise how people around them would have subjected them to thousands of questions, simply cause AIDS is such a taboo topic. I shudder to think what the family must be going through. The lady has 3 kids. The kids will surely be mocked at. DAMN!

I kept telling myself...ETHICS OF JOURNALISM.....whr did it go? all for a toss.... Now the entire galli, mohalla knew about the incident. Ironically I felt really powerful that day. But you know, alongwith power comes responsibility. I think many journos forget that. The kind of effect media has on people, is amazing. A small report in 4th page could bring about such a huge difference....This incident was an eye-opener for me as a journalist. I think i would take extra pains now to see if I am not hurting people's sentiments. I know I have to be more aware now.

Reporter's diary

2005-07-05T00:44:00.000+05:30

Reporting is a fun job though I repeat again that it could be very tiring. Travelling from anywhere to anywhere in Mumbai is so tiresome and takes a minimum of an hour. That can be pissing off but well, all part and parcel of the job. Reporting gives me a chance to meet new and very interesting people. In this one month, I have learnt lot of things. I have some amusing experiences to share with you.

However recently, there was a suicide case in JJ hospital. The person had AIDS and he committed suicide jumping from the third floor of the hospital. To know more read..

I was asked by my editor to hunt down the family of the suicide victim and do a human-interest story on them. I immediately agreed. I had to first trace the address of the family. Now I called up the police to find out the address. Hmmm..After few attempts I finally got hold of the police-in-charge who gave me the required address. Surprisingly the place turned out to be somewhere close to the area I stay.

The person who died was Abhimanyu Rane and I had to meet his wife, Naina Abhimanyu Rane. The next day I left home early and went about hunting for that place. I realised it was not all that close either, but it was ok. In process I reached a slum area. I began hunting for Abhimanyu Rane. Now it was really odd that people couldn’t really figure out whom I was searching for. Normally when you go to slums, everyone knows everyone. I felt really odd. Nevertheless I kept asking around. Finally I landed up at the Rane residence. The people who were giving me directions kept asking me what work I have with them. Damn, some people, they have so many questions to ask! It was raining cats and dogs. I felt very weird. How to approach them in a moment of grief like this? One of the disadvantages of my profession is that it can land you in the most awkward situation possible. Also, I was doing something like this for the first time. I was supposed to sensitive too. I was just tongue tied and I can tell you it not the best situation to be in after you have landed up at the your subject’s house and knocked the door too. I knocked and man in his early thirties answered the door. (All the conversation that ensued happened in Marathi. I am speaking sexy Marathi now, I am proud of myself, Yayyy!)
He : Whom do you want.
Me: I wanted to meet Naina Abhimanyu Rane.
He: Oh, she is my brother-in-law’s wife. What work you have with her?
Me: (In a fix. How to tell him, that I wanted to meet her coz I want to talk about her hubby who died committing suicide coz of AIDS ) Well, I had some work with her (All I could mumble)
He: But she doesn’t stay here.
Me: Oh Damn… (I didn’t want to delay my article.) Where does she stay then?
He: Don’t worry, she stays nearby only. I will take you there.
Me: Oh, ok, great.
He: But she’s gone for work.
Me: Eh, work? (Goodness, her hubby died and she’s gone for work?) Where does she work?
He: She works in J J, she’s an attendant there.
Me: Eh? (An attendant in the same hospital where her hubby committed suicide? Oh my! this is amusing. ) Oh well….when will she be back from work?
He: She will come a bit late. In the evening only.
Me: Oh damn! (and I was there by noon. It would be late)
He: By the way what work you have?
Me: I wanted some information.
He: what you want, I know everything about her. I will give all the information.
Me: Well..err….I am from the press. I wanted to meet for some information.
He: Oh, press….hmmm
(He suddenly goes in to show photographs)
He: This is Naina. (Her marriage photos they were.) This is her husband. They used to stay here before. But she shifted to another place two years back. She used to stay here only.
Me: But the information I got was to meet her on this address.
He: Ohh…she stays at a different place now.
Me: Where’s her husband?
He: Well, he expired.
Me: Oh…how come?
He: HIV (in hushed tones)
Me: (All surprised. This chap doesn’t have any qualms admitting it. WOW) Ohh…sad.
He: Yea and Naina did not even marry you know.
Me: Does Naina have AIDS?
He: No. I did a proper check up. Neither does she nor does her son who is 6 years old.
Me: Oh, great. (Just for clarification) When did he die?
He: Some 4 years ago.
Me: WHAT? 4 YEARS?
He: yea…
Me: Did he not die some 4-5 days back by committing suicide?
He: No, he died a natural death and he dies four years ago.
Me: But how can it be possible? There was a suicide few days ago in JJ of a patient who had AIDS. Isn’t he the same? Isn’t he Abhimanyu Rane?
He: Arrey, But he died four years ago and He did not commit suicide.
Me: Oh Damn
He: You don’t trust me? Ask my neighbour.
(Neighbour nods in assent)
Me: (Shit shit shit) Sorry, Sorry I wasted you time. I seem to have got wrong information. (Freaking stupid arsehole police.)
He: (laughing) Arrey na, no problem.
Me: Thank you haan, bye!

Now I know how she can go to work inspite of her husband’s death. Well, he died 4 years back, she can’t be mourning for four years na. I was all confused. Why did the police give my wrong address? Damn it. I felt so stupid. Then the first thing I did was to go to JJ Marg police station. I went there and asked the police who made me wait for almost an hour. Finally when they gave me the address, I realised I had a different address. I was so angry. I told them that I was given the wrong address. But well, they were too busy to even pay any heed. I think the attendant’s address was used to accept the body for some official purpose. I am not all that sure. It still remains a mystery to me as to why that Naina’s name was present.
(GOLDEN LESSON LEARNT: GET YOUR DETAILS DIRECTLY. NEVER BY PHONE)

Lesson number 2: You still won’t ever get your details properly. I had to again call up at 12 in the NIGHT to get the proper details because the concerned officer was available only in the night shift. Bloody….grrrr……^%$%^$%$^%

Finally I got the correct address only when the clock struck 12 night, the next day. WEIRD!! WEIRD!!!
Just imagine if the family didn’t have any death due to AIDS, I WOULD HAVE BEEN STONED TO DEATH…. HOLY CRAP! Shesssh…..God saved my life, atleast there was a death due to AIDS. (I can’t believe I am saying this) Nahi toh, I would have been dead by now. I can visualise people running behind me throwing stones and trust me it’s not a happy sight. K

I finally tracked the REAL family Well, that’s another story.

to be continued...

Important Disclaimer: Names, locations used above are changed.

2nd B'day, Mumbai bloggers meet and a Big Hello!

2005-06-19T12:23:00.000+05:30

OMIGOD, I just realised that it's been exactly two years since I started blogging. Whoa Baby.......Happy birthday to my blog :D Thank you to all for frequenting it. It's been a pleasurable journey to say the least :)

HAPPY BLOGGIE B'DAY

Oh no, This ain't my last post and I am not thinking of quitting blogging so soon. This is a hobby I aim to continue as long as I can. I just want to thank all my friends and the silent readers (am sure there would be some) for reading my blog inspite of the fact it is so miserably updated! Also Happy b'day Alkoo dear!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Ok, back to posting! Helloooooooooo everybody. Yea...I am alive, very much alive! Just way tooooooo busy to even think about blogging. It's a weird feeling now that I am blogging. I dunno, but it feels like the time I posted for the first time. hehee! Don't ask me why...probably, I haven't blogged for a looooooooooong time! My visit to Tsunami affected villages was super awesome! I eman, I couldn't have had a better time. I learnt so much and I had infinite amounts of fun. More details about that later, sure sure! I don't know where to start. So much is happening currently that I seriously don't have the time to sit aaraamse and think.

WHOA! For starters.....I WORE LENS :D Yayyy!!!! I feel so liberated....ehhehee! All thsoe people who have met me and have known me also know that I wear specs and that we both are inseperable. But now....yayyy! I have started wearing contact lens. I wore it for the first time yesterday. Well, technically not for the first time, I have worn it before also. I was in my final year that time. But I got disillusioned in first 2-3 days. So i stopped wearing it. This time, its for keeps. The doc is damn cool, she taught me a supakk technique of putting the lens and I am not bored also. Lets see, how long my sluggishness allows me to continue with my lens habit. But for now...I am happy..yayy! But this is no tata bye bye to my specs, coz I am way too dependent on it. Hehee! But I tell you, the feeling of liberation is something. I COULD SEE EVERYTHING CLEARLY WITHOUT ANY EXTERNAL HELP.....WHICH IS MY SPECTACLES! WHOA BABY! I had reached the point where my specs had become a part of my anatomy. Sometimes I feel a little handicapped. It's weird. I am sure all the people who wear specs would perfectly understand with what I say. hehehe! YAYYY!!!!

Also, I am a working woman now! :D :D My life has taken a 360 degree turn. I mean life's become very busy. Suddenly I feel more responsible. I mean it has an affect on every single thing in your life. Hmmm....To be a journalist has been my high school dream. To see it getting fulfilled now is a different feeling. I sometimes think I am very lucky and that god's been overtly kind to me. Not many are fortunate enough to do what they have always wanted to do. Thank you god, I love you *muah*

Ok....I have been asked to do publicity of Mumbai blog meet which would be happening next saturday i.e. 25th of June! So ladies and gentlemen.....*drumrolls please*

Here's presenting...

Mumbai Bloggers meet on 25th June, 2005 @ (cafe coffee day or Barista)Bandstand, Bandra!

I would be there, most probably (95%). Please all the Mumbaikars and non-mumbaikars, if you are in Mumbai on 25th, please do come. It would nice meeting you all. I hope to see you guys there! Do come :D For more details go to here

Ok...its meme time! So Lakku, Gundu, Ashwin and all have tagged me! Ok, So here's the meme.....

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
- Shobha
- Shobhu (my dad calls me and I don't like it if someone else calls me by that name, i dunno, its weird, but that's the way it is)
- Amma :| (It's cute haan but >:D< buhahas)

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
- Shobha
- Majja ni life che........ehehheheee.....I dunno, I was in a supakk mood and I had kept this id!
- simplyshobha

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
- Eyes.....I have got huge humungous eyes, they are thoda droopy, one classmate had once asked me if I am on dope coz my eyes apparently looked like that :| I dinno how to react. But nevertheless I love the same.......My eyes they are :p
- My smile....:)
- My wavy hair

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
- My height...ama shortie
- Myopia...am with reiya here!
- I dunno wot else....I am happy with the way I am

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
- Procrastination, Impatience and I can go on and on...
- I am sincere...I make a good friend :p
- I am a chatterbox but there are times when I can be really quiet! People don't believe this but I can be incredibly quiet at times!

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
- Cockroaches :|
- Loneliness
- Heights

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS: (This is a weird section to write about coz there aren't many everyday interesting mandatory things I do apart from the usual mundane things. But still after wracking my brains I came up with this.)
- I have to read Indian Express
- One glass moru i.e. buttermilk :D
- checking mails...

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
- A big, huge T-shirt
- A watch
- Specs :p

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
- Loads of wonderful conversations :D, thodusa arguments n fights too, nahi toh wot fun!
- Trust and Honesty
- Loads of laugh and fun :D

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE (in no particular order):
- I am extremely uncomfortable while lying....I just can't lie!
- I hate ice creams
- I can't live without my curds rice!

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
- Intelligence.....that's a major turn on.....can't handle dumbos :|
- A Good Sense of Humour (I dunno if both the above things can qualify in "physical things")
- A good height..tall men are such a turn on!

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
- Watch Bunty aur babli and Parineeta
- Go out shopping for clothes, sketchers and all that blah!
- Go back to Pondy.......I am in love with that place :D

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING: considering? ummm....apart from journalism i wouldn't mind being the following!
- Social Worker, I really wanna do an MSW i.e. Masters in Social Work!
- Teacher
- Vada Pav stall owner :D

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
- Sikkim and poora north east
- Venice....My dream place...I don't know, whenever i see pics of venice, I feel home or I just get the feeling that I have been there before.Weird!
- Kerala

THREE KIDS NAMES YOU LIKE:
Ananya, Aditi, Arjun, Kabir, Tara
( I like so many names...not fair to ask only 3)

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
- Travel Rural India on a shoe string budget :D So cool it would be!
- Trek in Himalayas........Please if anybody has plans, please do tell me!
- Secret wish to write a book :D

~~THREE~~ (I want more people) PEOPLE WHO HAVE TO TAKE THIS QUIZ NOW:
Dayan, ANDA-man, Vidya, Kishore, and I might just add to the list........so keep watching this space!

P.S. DONT FORGET MUMBAI BLOGGERS MEET.

hey!

2005-05-08T20:21:00.000+05:30

I am at ~~Karaikal~~ Pondicherry (thanks Anon for pointing my mistake) which is a small town in Tamil Nadu. Shesssh, wanted tot ype so much. the connection is a pain. I am at a cyber cafe which has 5 computers running on a single dialup connection :| The weather is NOT HOT. Its extremely humid but the evening has some sexy breeze.

From tomorrow, I start visiting the temporary shelters. Should be an interesting experience. Also I go to beach tmrw. Yayyyy! hehehee! So much more to come....bubyeee all!

Here I am...

2005-05-01T22:50:00.000+05:30

Ok, people...I am alive and not dead, hehe! Again I went through the "too bored to blog" phase. I am going through this phase quite often now. Hmmm...wonder why... Also, what was different this time was that I stopped checking out different blogs as well. Hmmm....I don't know! Well anyways, am back.

My exams got over by the first week of April itself. These were my final examinations. I am a graduate now (yea, I know am waiting for my results...but still) It's a weird feeling you know. When I finished writing my last paper, I exulted in joy that it was over but the next second it stuck me OH LORD, IT'S OVER! I mean my grads are over, done, finished! Trust me it was a mixed feeling. I was desperately waiting for my exams to get over. But when it did, I was left with mixed feelings. Again I realised that I dislike changes. I am not the adaptible sorts. I take lot of time to adjust. Now that my college is over, I know it's gonna be different. Everything is gonna be different. I am not trying to think too much coz I am taking each day as it comes and trust me it helps a lot.

The moment this vacation started, I made myself busy by doing absolutely NOTHING! Man, that was something.....I loved doing NOTHING AT ALL I can be incredibly lazy. Sometimes I surprise myself.

Ok...right now I am more kicked about going to Nagapattinam. Yeaa, I am going to Nagapattinam in a couple of days and would be working with an NGO there. I hope it's gonna be a good experience. Last time I had gone to Gujarat and the experience was awesome. I have never been to a disaster prone area and I really don't know what to expect. I am going with a blank mind. The one thign that comforts me is that here I know the language and I hope I would be able to help in some way or the other. Last time I went to an absolute adivasi village. But this time I would be in a small town or soemthing. There should be internet. I would try to update my blog from there. Ummm....no promises though!

This time I would be gone for 3 weeks or so. So it's a long time for me personally. But this is a challenge. It's back to the "I have to take care of myself" mode. Well...well...well..keeping fingers crossed. Wish me luck guys Chalo, bye for now....wanna say so much but this post will become so dreadfully long. More in next post.....bubyeeee!

Ok...before I leave, I have to make certain announcements.

You have professors and then YOU HAVE PROFESSORS....All my life I have my share of good, bad and crappy professors. But I guess there are very few people who influence you postively to a great extent. One of them is Sridhar Sir. He's one person who is not only a good professor but also one of the nicesthuman being I have known. He holds the distinction of being one of the very few professors who was loved by every member of our class......unanimous appreciation and admiration it was (Now that is quite a feat I tell you!) He's genuinely a wonderful person! So here's presenting Sridhar Sir's blog *drumrolls please* His blog is very interesting, DO VISIT IT EVERYBODY (and I do take the credit of the fact that he started blogging....think am being pompous? read this )

Now I say good bye....hope to blog soon

Oh my!

2005-04-05T14:34:00.000+05:30

This is very creepy. First I post this entry on Radio and then I see that Indian Express carries couple of articles on the same topic. And today guess what, I had a 9 mark question on Community Radio for my exam........Ha Ha Ha! hehehee! So funny....

Anyways, yesterday I had a very eventful day as such. My exams started yesterday. Nooooooo....that didn't have anything to do with my day being eventful. Ok, so yesterday I had Press Law and Ethics. I boarded the train early in the morning. I had decided that I will read up Official Secrets Act in the train. Now there's this Mallu lady sitting next to me jabbering away and here I am desperately trying to understand the god forsaken act :| I tried to show my displeasure as much as possible but then she was such a thickhead that she just didn't get it. Later aadat se majboor, I dosed off. Then suddenly I woke up only to see the Mallu lady catching 40 winks.......Arghhhhhhhh! I was soooooo angry, Couldn't she have slept earlier? I would have read up Official secrets Acts then......Stupid female!

The train was very crowded(an understatement). I had great difficulty getting down the station. I started walking but I thought something was weird. This doesn't look like Kurla Station :-s But well....I still kept walking......then I realised THIS AINT KURLA, THIS IS VIDYAVIHAR.....ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Thankfully I didn't go very far and came back to the station to take the next train. This time though I got off at the proper station. I had to go to Kurla, west. But I am so clueless as far as directions as concerned, that sometimes I think there is a serious defect in my brain coz I just don't understand directions. Well I think you would be getting the drift, I went to Kurla East and wasted almost 10 minutes in process. Ok, one man whom I asked for directions guided me wrongly, stupid man! I came to kurla west, took a rick and finally reched my exam centre.

ARGHHHHHHHHHH! These things don't really bother me but when such things happen less an hour before your exam is about to begin, then damn, freaked me out completely! I thought mine was a sad case till a girl in my class came 1 hr late for the exam. She went to another college assuming that, that's her exam centre. BUHAHAHAHAHAHA! Idyut! Aren't you supposed to check where your exam centre is before the exams begin as such......idyut!

Finally after the day's ordeal, I reached home when I got a call from one of my schoolmate with whom I had completely lost in touch with after my school. (Not someone whom I particularly wanted to keep in touch also as such, but well, that's another story) Now this dude, starts talking to me in this weird accented English. Only then did it strike me that he was working in a call centre earlier. EOWWWWWWWWWWW! What was that! I mean that was a cocktail of god knows what all accents, it sounded so funny! Shessssssh! By all means work in a call centre, but don't incorporate that American Accent in your daily lingo thinking that it is cool when you are not good at it. You end up looking like a dumbfuck. Imagine a guy with whom I was in Kya re Kaisa hain re terms, suddenly speaking to me in a STUPID COCKTAIL ACCENT! Even if you wanna put on an accent, make sure you are good at it na, idyuts.......fools!

I somehow ended up not studying the whole day yesterday. I thought I will wake up early in the morning and study. Also, the fact that I had a bad body ache also prompted me to sleep soon. So I had a compliform. NOW GUESS WHAT, I FOUND OUT THAT I COULDN'T SLEEP. I couldn't quite figure out the reason. I kept tossing and turning. Now I know in a small way what it is to have insomnia. It was so funny, my whole body was aching but hard as I try, I can't get one wink of sleep. HUh! So I slept late, woke up late and I GOT LESS TIME TO STUDY..........ARGHHHHH! Plus it was so fuckin hot. 38 degrees, what the hell.......and its only April........I was so angry that I could have beaten up anyone had I got the chance. But well, I am all calm now. So off I go to sleep and then back to books.

On second thoughts....
This caught my attention.
It says it all I wanted to say but well couldn't because well I was confused. I didn't like the way sting operation happened nor was casting couch acceptable for me. I was riddled with confusions. But she sums it up just apt:) Thank you :)

"Do public people have a right to a private life? Of course they do. But at the same time, let's not get holier-than-thou about privacy to the extent that we're defending the casting couch. It's a sick thing, whether it happens in the film world or outside."

. . . .

2005-04-03T10:03:00.000+05:30

Students use condoms to cheat in exams

Radio

2005-03-31T10:40:00.000+05:30

Update: Yeahieeeeeee! Days after I post this, I read this report in Indian Express and this (this one's recent). Whoa! Got this link via CSF. This is just so coooooool! The coincidence is cool or what! (Just hope that the Govt. lives up to its word, damn, the cynic in me will never die!)

Read on ...

I was just reading about Radio in India. I think the government monopoly on the airwaves is so unjust and is a criminal waste of talent, opportunity which a radio boom can bring upon. Radio in India is monopolised with the sole presence of the state broadcaster, All India Radio. Of course we have the emergence of FM radio stations, but I am talking about the total absense of radio channels in the current affairs genre. The boom of FM radio stations is a sign enough that the time to write the obituary of radio as a medium is not come as yet. I foresee a sad possibility not because the medium will become redundant but because of our government attitude towards Radio which will only result into its imminent death.

I don't know how long these stations will survive given the exhorbitant license fees that the broadcasters have to pay every year. C'mon a license fees of 11-13 crores per year is ridiculously expensive for a fledgeling business enterprise in India. Most of the radio stations are still functioning because of the backing of their successful parent media organisations. However many like Mid-day's GO-92.5 (which caters to a niche audience in Mumbai) are thinking about a closure in case of a status quo.

There is something about Radio which makes it so personal, homely in a very cocoonish kind of a way. I feel Radio and local go hand in hand. Again I repeat the example of FM stations. Logistically, FM stations are bound to be local. Their success just goes on to show that how successful Radio as a medium can be in the local sphere of things. As of now we have only FM stations which are prohibited from mentioning the word "News" as well.

The success of radio lies in the fact that it is one of the cheapest medium of communication. It's reach is massive, radio reaches at places where none of the other mediums of communication even manage a peekaboo. The beauty of Radio is that it complements all other mediums. One can listen to radio while doing their household chores, driving, gardening, etc. The impact that radio has considering the fact that it is purely an audio medium doesn't make it any less potent than other mediums. The fact that it is purely an audio medium is its biggest strength I believe because Radio as a medium works at a subconcious level. Radio sets are cheap. Since it is local, it can easily cross the barriers of language and communicate with the people in their lingo. Radio is also perhaps the only medium which can easily overcomes the literacy barrier.

Just imagine what kind of ripples radio will create if the government were to open the reportage of Current Affairs Radio sector to private players. I am just wondering what amazing variety of content generation that can come up if Government opens up the Radio sector in a justified way reducing the exhorbitant license fees. I fail to understant the Government's insecure behaviour towards Radio as such. I am plain puzzled. The massive reach of the Radio and the inability on the part of the government to regulate it is one of the prime reasons for the non show out here. I fail to understand such a myopic attitude of the Government.

Endless possibilites beckon us in the communciation arena if the government attitude towards radio changed. If the current affairs genre is given the freedom it so deserves, Radio journalism will develop in this country like no tomorrow. There would be tons of jobs which can be created. I just imagine a time wherein I would be able to tune into Radio and listen to innumerable radio programmes (which are not always entertainment based)

Currently there is a stagnation in the current affairs genre given the monopoly of All India Radio. I mean everybody is aware that of thedull and drab their news programmes, their endless discussion sessions and total lack of new programming content. One can bring about so much variety in programming content pertaining to performing arts, current affairs etc. The scope is immense and I can go on and on. We are in dire need of novelty, spunk in Radio programming which is so sadly missing. I for one love Radio and I feel this is so unfair. I wonder why none of our ministers in parliament take up this issue. When we can tons of newspapers, TV Channels, why can't we have tons of Radio channels and original programming content in India?

Community Radio is a very revolutionary concept.

Community Radio serves a local community or a community of interest. The emphasis is on the democratisation of media, that it should be accessible to the community, both in terms of ownership, decision making and programme output.

Programming is produced by the community, with an emphasis on local concerns and issues, the difference being that rather than merely talking about the community, the people themselves make the programmes. This strengthens local culture with the recognition that this is their station, it becomes a forum for a wide diversity of local opinions and views and rather that trying to continue this into a homogenous station ‘image’ usually adopted by mainstream stations, this diversity can be respected and encouraged.

The station as a whole can still have an ‘identity’, but this can be only acceptance, diversity and in short pluralism.

[Definition of community Radio is courtesy this site]

Community Radio has an social impact which the mainstream media are unable to bring about considering their lack of reach. Community Radio is thriving in other parts of the world. Considering the fact that 70% of our population lives in Rural Areas, Community Radio can do wonders.

The presence of Community radio could have easily reduced the number of deaths caused mainly due to the lack of information about the deadly Tsunami. So many people could have been evacuated and in rpocess we could have saved so many lives.

Community Radio is a great agent for social change but unfortunately there aren't many community radios in the country. The government has started giving licenses to reputed educational institutions to start their own campus radio and community radio initiatives.It's a welcome move. However many applications are still lying in pipeline with just one educational institution i.e. Anna University of Chennai which has become the first educational institution in the country to have started a community radio.

I am glad that in a small way government attitude is changing but I fail to realise the logic behind granting licenses to educational instituions in urban areas with limited reach. I mean community radio is more effective and is more needed in rural areas wherein the communities are more close knit and are in dire need of developmental initiatives. Community radio has enormous potential to bring about loads of changes for the better. Someone should just exploit the potential or rather the government should allow someone to exploit the potential.

Conscience Call

2005-03-30T11:25:00.000+05:30

Fighting in Iraq, Anderson had it enough.

"I joined the Army to serve my country," says Anderson. "I joined knowing there's a fact that we could fight wars. But the war in Iraq is an illegal war. There's no reason for these kids to be over there doing this, and thousands of innocent Iraqis are being killed.

"I started thinking about the insurgency they're fighting. And I remember seeing their faces and I remember being in combat against them. These were just regular people, there were elderly men, young men. And then I remember looking around Baghdad and seeing the blown up buildings, the people on crutches, the dismembered people, and thinking that these are just their family members. If someone blew up your house and killed a couple of your family, you're going to pick up a weapon and you're going to fight a war for it."

"So there's no way I could go back. It's my human right to choose not to kill innocent people," he says. "And there's no way I could go die for money and oil, rich people's investments. That's when I decided I couldn't go back."

Anderson made the decision of not going back to Iraq while home on leave this last Christmas.
Read the full story here.

Now Anderson seeks refuge in another country, Canada as he can be prosecuted in USA. I really feel sad at the soldiers' predicament. The more I read such stories the more angry I become and I just wonder how with all the wrongdoings in his kitty, someone can become a President again. HUH!

Happy Holi

2005-03-26T18:34:00.000+05:30

Happy holi to everybody.
Image: courtesy Sulekha.com

Wow

2005-03-26T00:47:00.000+05:30

When I finished reading this article, my immediate reaction was WOW! The article is about a writer who lived among slum dwellers in various countries and then wrote a book called,"Shadow Cities: A Billion Squatters, A New Urban World".

"For his book Shadow Cities: A Billion Squatters, A New Urban World (Routledge), author Robert Neuwirth lived in places that many of us strive to avoid — slums, or squatter colonies of some of the world's largest cities.

From the Rocinha neighborhood of Rio de Janeiro to Kibera in Nairobi and Sanjay Gandhi Nagar a slum in north Mumbai, Neuwirth, an investigative reporter whose work has appeared in The New York Times, Newsday and The Nation, examines how squatters — people whose urban settlements are not legally recognised — build colonies in the face of daunting commercial and political pressure.

While providing its readers a window into the grittier aspects of squatter life, Shadow Cities — which Publishers Weekly called a 'superbly probing book' — takes note of squatter pleasures. Some friends he makes along his journey enjoy what would be considered middle class comforts in much of the developing world."
Continue reading here....

I personally feel such assignments are absolutely awesome! Such stories give a kick like no others can. It's amazing that this writer lived amongst the slum dwellers to write his book which is commendable and also necesary for gaining a perspective. I think it would have been impossible for him to be honest about the issues they are facing if he wouldn't have stayed with them. Kudos to that man who actually went about living with the slum dwellers. I mean it's not an easy task. Adjusting, adapting to new situations, language, poverty, damn there are thousand things to take care of and he ain't even a desi! Whoa! As a journalist such kind of stories, assignments give tremendous amount of job satisfaction and I hope in future as a journalist I get a chance to do such challenging stories :D

Finally error rectified

2005-03-25T19:10:00.000+05:30

Finally Indiatimes corrects the error.

CRAP CONTINUES

2005-03-25T12:27:00.000+05:30

The crap continues at Indiatimes.com. HA HA HA! This is amazing! This is reference to the previous post below. Just have a look at this...

It's a brand new day, it's a brand new headline but the same old intro as day before yesterday. HA HA HA! (Please refer to my previous post below)

This is how the actual article looks like....

You can also find the article here

It beats me that they have not corrected their mistake as yet!

CRAP

2005-03-24T21:11:00.000+05:30

Only TOI can afford to make blunders like these and get away with it also. Crappy and completely unprofessional!

What's the connection between headline and the intro? huh!
Update:
Well....this is how the article looks....

You can also find it by clicking here.

P.S.There is a new post below :)

Train tales

2005-03-24T19:38:00.000+05:30

It is not often that I meet interesting characters in the train. It is weird when I say that because trains are the places where one gets to meet the weird, interesting and basically all kinds of people. But all thanks to my amazing sleeping skills, I end up neither talking nor observing people as such. Yea, I have now mastered the art of sleeping in the trains so much so that I sometimes wonder if it is a inborn trait. It is very rare that I dont sleep in the train and even rarer is the scene when I do happen to meet interesting people. Yesterday was one such day.

I was in the train reading Indian Express when this cute little girl came and sat next to me. She was probably around 8-9 years old and was in her school uniform. I couldn't help but wondering how cute the girl looked with the malli poo(mogra flowers or jasmine)tuck in her hair with the help of a hairpin. I went back to reading my newspaper. Suddenly I overheard other lady asking her about her school. The little girl said,"I study in Balmohan Vidya Mandir in Dader". The lady looked at the girl in marvel and said,"So you daily travel from Thane to Dader to attend school?" The girl nodded in approval. I think the girl had a smug look after seeing the lady's reaction. It's quite a feat travelling daily in train for a girl who is all of eight years old. I began talking to her.

I got to know that her school timings were from 1 to 5 pm. Now trains are usually very crowded in the evenings, its the rush hour. I asked her,"Why do you travel so much? There are so many good schools in Thane too." Then she told me how they earlier lived in Dadar. She's been with this school right from the beginning. I could see that she loved her school and didn't regard train travelling as a bother at all. All through the time I was talking to her, I couldn't help but marvel at the fact that she was so sure about what she wanted. She was quite a social kid and started telling me tales about her friends in her apartment in Thane. "Don't you feel like going to the same school as your Thane friends do?" I asked. She had a ready answer, NO! She proceeded to tell me that she was more close to her school friends in Dadar than her building friends and that she doesn't feel like quitting the school for that reason.

Children more often than not are clear about what they want. The school is an important area of socialisation for a kid. I often wonder how children of parents with tranferable jobs cope up. I mean, schools bring a sense of permamnency, the 12-14 year schooling experience that a child goes through is very important. No wonder some of our best friends are from school. I have couple of cousins who have changed schools frequently because of their fathers' transferable jobs. In a way I think its great as it gives such children an opportunity to make new friends everywhere. but I can't help but wondering at the sadness that might engulf them when they its time to move out. I remember one cousin of mine telling me,"We had just settled down here, made all new friends and now it is time to move out" and then burst into tears. I therefore maintain a certain kind of stability is essential for a child in its growing years. There is obviously lies a difference having memories about a place where one has studied for 12 years as compared to studying in a place for 2 years. Somehow a sense of belonging is lost.

Speaking about trains, today much to my misfortune, I got into a very crowded train. I had a hellish time getting off at Dadar. Goodness....one doesn;t need a workout if one travels in crowded trains like these everyday. I got out of the train gasping for fresh air when I saw this lady who too was in a similar condition like mine. But then I noticed that she was pregnant. She just went and sat in the bench cluthcing her stomach. Holy Shit, I almost freaked out looking at her condition. I mean who in her right mind will board a crowded train like this in such a condition. Thankfully she had her husband alongwith her. Poor thing, really felt sad for that lady. I hope she's fine....:(

P.S: I forgot to add, the girl was accompanied by her mother :)

Happy Birthday!

2005-03-19T01:58:00.000+05:30

Happy birthday ASHWIN

Have a great day ya.......best wishes :D

Musings, Black, etc...

2005-03-15T22:48:00.000+05:30

Hello everybody! I am back. Thatw as quite a break I took. But this ain't new for me coz I keep taking breaks often. Funnily enough all these days, I just didn't feel like posting at all. The thought of quitting blogging also came into my mind. Well, it was just not a thought. I gave it a good deal of thought. Then decided against it because this is a hobby I really enjoy and that I don't think I will ever quit it as such. Blogging is an integral part of my life now and that expressing my thoughts, opinions over here really matter a lot to me. So there would be extended breaks taken by me now and then just when I feel a little bit bored about it.

Ok, I HAVE SOOOOOOOOOOOO MANY THINGS TO DISCUSS ABOUT OVER HERE. Ok, I know many of you want to know about my Indo Pak experiences. Well, sorry guys, I dont think I would be posting anything major in this post. Will sure have a decent write up written by mid of April. Nevertheless I still have tons to say. Ok, I had my final submission today. It felt a bit weird that this was my last assignment that I would ever submit. 3 years of assignments, projects, submissions, presentation........ALL DONE, OVER, KHATAM, Finished. In a few days I would be graduating also. Things are changing in a speed that is really tough to fathom. Sometimes, I am like, hey life, wait a minute, let it sink in! But I guess from now onwards it is all about adapting oneself quickly because I know for sure the one thing that is going to be constant is change and I better get adjusted to it. Oh well...enough of my rambling.

Ok, now what prompted me to post here was Reiya's post on Black. She has reflected upon her thoughts on Black. I thought I will add my two cents too. I saw Black twice. First time it was with the Pakistani delegation. They were all dying to see a Hindi Movie in a THEATRE in MUMBAI. So we booked tickets for Black in Liberty. Black got me hooked on right from scene 1. I remember I didn't speak a word with my friend who was sitting next to me. Poor thing, she had loads to say about the movie but well i was engrossed. I was engrossed to such an extent that the scenes in the movie had an effect on me emotionally. I remember during the break, I just wanted to be alone, with myself. The movie drained me completely. The emotions were probably too much for me to handle. During the second half of the movie, I cried buckets. I simply let go of myself during the end. Oh well, it's another story altogether as to how everybody (my Paki friends included) ragged me to death coz I was the only sole person crying over there. :P:P

I have always maintained in this blog that when I see a movie, I see like any normal viewer. I really don't sit and analyse, "Wow, what an awesome shot, what a great camera angle" and the works. Whenever I watch a movie for the first time, I get completely involved with it. I allow the movie to take me for a ride. It is only during the second or third time that I watch the movie, can I be completely objective about it and can only then form opinions. Therefore I have always wondered how critics rate a movie immediately after watching it. I take time to form opinions. Or maybe this has got to do with the fact that I don't watch too many movies as such. I am sure a movie like Black might have left majority of the audience emotionally drained, confused or whatever. I wonder how one can really evaluate a movie like Black just by watching it once. Emotions tend to cloud proper decision-making and this applies to everything in life. Therefore I wonder how do movie critics rate, critique a movie just by watching it once? I think they are programmed to watch a movie in a certain way and that is what helps them. Hmmm....

But nevertheless, I went to watch Black for the second time. I was and still am to a great extent completely enamoured by the movie. I wondered if I would cry again. But surprisingly I didn't. Maybe it had to do with the fact that the last time I watched the movie wasn't a long time ago. This time however I came out oft he movie with mixed feelings. I think this has got to do with the fact that both my friends didnt like the movie the way I did. It never really occurred to me that the acting of Amitabh Bachchan went over the top. I still don’t think so. Yea, there were scenes wherein his acting was animated. But never once did he come across as irritating. What would be over the top acting would be Hrithik’s performance in Main Prem ki Deewani Hoon. I am not trying to compare Hrithik and Amitabh’s performance. Hell, No! I am just giving a reference to what irritating over the top acting would be like. There are eccentric characters like Amitabh’s character in real life too. If you see in India, almost all the art forms are mostly synonymous with over dramatisation. It is a genre in itself. If you see Bharatnatyam for example, a simplest of emotion or a reaction would be over dramatised. It has always been the case. But dramatisation I feel is ok if done in a proper way and not in an irritating way. Irritating would be the eye-brow twitching dramatisation in Saas-Bahu serials. But then, it sells. People love it. Melodrama is in the psyche of majority of the Indians if I can add. Most of us being the urban audiences and being exposed to a lot of Hollywood movies where subtlety rules, we might pan Black down. But I think this is our style just as subtlety is theirs.

Also, I think Melodrama was used to convey the anguish of the child who can’t see, can’t hear and hence can’t talk. To communicate is an inherent need of every human being. I can’t even fathom the anguish and the pain that a child like this might go through in real life. How many of us actually sit and think about what it might be like being Michelle. Melodrama was effectively used a tool. The film forces you to think so.

I thought the kissing scene between Amitabh and Rani was one of the most beautiful scenes I have ever watched. Michelle is like any normal teenager if one would discount the disabled side of hers. I thought it was but natural for her to fall in love with someone who was her sole link to the real world for a long time. He was the only male friend in a lonely world of hers. It was but natural for her to fall in love with him. The vulnerability was beautifully shown. I guess never has such a topic been broached by any Indian movie as such. It is challenging enough to portray the emotions of people who can’t speak, talk and hear. It is quite an effort to translate those emotions on screen and for that Bhansali deserves an ovation.

Also the scene wherein the child regards her mother “Ma” and her father as “Pa” is another lovely scene of the movie. I get goose bumps even thinking about the scene. And yea, Shernaz Patel was awesome. She was the perfect mom. Also the wonderkid Ayesha Kapoor, great find.

However one thing did trouble me when I watched the movie for the second time. I really didn’t like it when Amitabh hits the child. I agree the child was obstinate to the core. But still hitting a child is not the right way to go about it. I am firmly against hitting and spanking children. I am shocked at myself as to how this thing didn’t trouble me when I watched the movie the first time. I don’t know but is this a norm with the children who are visually challenged and mentally impaired? If no, then how do they deal with the kids. Hmm....

Also one of my very good friend Dodo starts blogging. YAYYYY! for that (drumrolls please:P:P) Do check her blog out, she surely does write well. Dodo, you really did surprise me :)

Dya guys remember this post of mine on Meena Mami? Well, guess what, I met her a week back. More on that in my next post. :)
Bye for now :)

YIIPEEEEEEEEEE!

2005-02-27T23:49:00.000+05:30

Yiipeeeeeeeeeeeee! Ok, I am just so happy. I am right in middle of typing my submission when I recieve a mail after reading which, I just had to post about it. Ok, people, all you Chennaities out there, please read your MAGAZINE supplement of The Hindu. it contains a write up on Indo Pak Youth Forum for Peace. Yes, the same informal group that I am a part of. One can also check it out

here

Yohoooooooo! Now I'm off to finish off my project. Will post something veryyyyyy soon. Yayyyyy!

They have arrived

2005-02-08T23:34:00.001+05:30

Yayyyyy! I am really happy. Ok, I have been busy like hell since the past few days with loads of college projects, assignments and the works. But well one more thing which tied me up was the Indo-Pak thing that I am a part of. For the uninitiated I am a part of this informal group called Indo Pak Youth Forum for Peace. Well, they were supposed to come during December, 2004. But due to visa hassles, they couldn't come. But guess what, THEY ARE HERE!!!!! Yayyyyy! Me so happy.......They are a lovely group and the first day just got over so quickly...I am really very tired but this is a kind of tiredness I think i like. You know the feeling of being involved in something which you like and enjoy and then getting exhausted ! Aaaaaaaaaah! nothing like it! Anyways, will blog more about this later..now off I go, a submission awaits me.......Tadah!

Death and hypocrisy

2005-01-24T21:07:00.000+05:30

Premchand's KAFAN is so relevant even today. Take for example Hindi Film actress Parveen Babi's death.
People ignored her like plague when she was alive on the account of her mental illness. But scores of them coming to take the responsibility of her cremation. If at all little care was showered when she was alive, well, things would probably have been different! Its funny, when you are alive people just ignore you but the same person gets all the importance in the world post-death. It's as if they are being so magnanimous about the whole thing. The rituals hold so much importance. NONSENSE! Hypocrisy RULES! 21st century did someone say? Duhhhhh! Some things don't change! HUH! Also, Don't even want to get into the inheritance issues that willa rise now.

Premchand rocks, his stories are still so relevant to the social mileau.

Joke time

2005-01-21T18:13:00.000+05:30

I was in process of clearing out the clutter from my inbox, I stumbled upon this forward that my friend mailed to me. HILARIOUS! Have a read....

There was a World wide survey of "Most Embarrassing Moment in human life "
and the final three incidents are ....

Third Place
It was the day before my eighteenth birthday. I was living at home, but my
parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my girlfriend over for
a romantic night alone. As we lay in bed after making love, we heard the
telephone ringing downstairs. I suggested to my girlfriend that I give her
a piggy-back ride to the phone. Since we didn't want to miss the call, we
didn't have time to get dressed. When we got to the bottom of the stairs,
the lights suddenly came on and a whole crowd of people yelled
"SURPRISE!".

My entire family, aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins and all of my
friends were standing there ! My girlfriend and I were frozen to the spot
in a state of shock and embarrassment ! for what seemed like an eternity.
Since then, no-one in my family has planned a surprise party again.

Second Place (a lady)
While in line at the bank one afternoon, my kid decided to release
some pent-up energy and started to run amuck. I was finally able to grab
hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other
patrons. I told her that if she didn't start behaving herself right now,
she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in
a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will
tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee(dick) last night!".
The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the
tellers stopped what they were doing ! I mustered the last of my dignity
and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing that I
heard as the door closed behind me were the screams of laughter.

And the Winner Is.....
This one actually happened at Harvard University in October last year. In
a biology class, the professor was discussing the high glucose levels
found in semen. A young female (freshman), raised her hand and asked, "If
I understand what you are saying, there is a lot of glucose in male semen,
as in sugar?" "That's correct." responded the professor, going on to add
much statistical data. Raising her hand again, the sweet young thing
asked, "Then why doesn't it taste sweet?". After a stunned silence, the
whole class burst out laughing, the poor girl turned bright red and as
she realized exactly what she had inadvertently said (or rather implied),
she picked up her books without a word and walked out of the class, and
never returned.
However, as she was going out of the door, the professor's reply was a
classic. Totally straight-faced, he answered her question, "It doesn't
taste sweet because the taste-buds for sweetness are on the tip of your
tongue and not in the back of your throat!

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

What's worse

2005-01-19T23:39:00.000+05:30

I don't know what's worse....
To be ignorant, completely be ill-informed about a certain issue and yet be opinionated
or
To be a fence sitter and confused despite the proper knowledge of facts regarding the same?

Hmmmm........!!!!

Calvin says it all

2005-01-10T01:49:00.000+05:30

I happened to drop by this site, Deesha and I read this post. and I had to, had to post this comic strip.

I love Calvin, he simply says it all! Ain't he absolutely adorable?
For better viewing go here

Also, I am very sorry, I have been miserable with the comments. i will reply to all of them soon. Some people have liked the layout design of my blog. Alex, this site was done by Ridhish (doesn't blog anymore). All credit to him, I bugged him so much. But Mr.Nice guy that he is, bore with all my tantrums. Heehehe! But well I selected the candle pic :D Also thanks to Dee, who did a little bit of html tweaking when there were some problems with my blog. So I conclude that it was a team effort! ehehehheee! :P

Also check out Indibloggies. Nice effort! Kishore's blog has been nominated. His blog has got some amazing pictures. Also, Dubukku has been nominated for his excellent posts in Tamil. Pity, my Tamil is so bad....*sigh* But do check them out and vote :D

A Problem

2005-01-02T13:27:00.000+05:30

Hmmmmm! Well we all know about the natural disaster caused by the deadly Tsunami waves and the immense loss of human lives and property that it has caused. I don't think I need to add more about it, frankly speaking it depresses me. There is something weird I have noticed about myself....ummmm, I don't know whther to call it weird as I think I have a problem out here.

I have noticed that whenever such disasters happen, I tend to run away from the entire thing. Normally I am an avid newspaper reader, but during such times, I avoid reading news, I avoid watching news, I avoid everything that is to do with anything related to the disaster. I know it is sheer escapism, sheer cowardice on my part, but well, that's the fact. I find it very tough to come to terms with the depressing facts, pictures and accounts that surround me. I remember very vividly that when the Gujarat riots happened, I somehow stopped watching enws, even if I would come across a news item, I would change channels. Ultimately it so happened that I was to a large extent ignorant about the riots. I noticed that I couldn't participate in any debates-discussions cocnerning the riots because I didn't know the facts. In a weird manner, I liked it that way, it was a perfect adjustment for me. It is only months later, I started to read upon some old news items, surf archives etc.

This time though when the tsunami happened, my house was flooded with relatives. This time around also it was the same, I avoided watching TV news, avoided reading anything related to it. Earlier, I acknowledged the problem months after the disaster happened. I mean, i wasn't aware that I was running away especially during the event of the disaster. However this time, I know it is a problem. It is funny noticing yourself like a third party would, in an objective manner.

I don't know why I do it. Maybe I am running away as i know it is tough for me to deal with it. The pain, human loss, suffering etc. I am a coward, a chicken. But I am trying hard, I want a solution to this problem, to my escapism. I want to do something and running away like this won't help. I am gonna deal with this, no more running away for me for sure! Enough of it!

P.S. This year has started on a bad and a sombre note. Anyways, wishing all you guys a very happy and a prosperous 2005!

Busy Busy Busy

2004-12-29T23:24:00.000+05:30

Hello people! Just came back from a trip to Shirdi and PHEW! I am tired. But anyways got loads of stuff to do. I think I am done posting for the year. So will seeya guys next year now! :D Have a rocking time! Bubyeeeeeee! Happy New year!

Memories

2004-12-25T02:19:00.000+05:30

I was watching Indian Idol with Amma. The final 11 selected has some excellent singers I really look forward to listening. Prajakti Shukre! WHOA...what amazing talent! Amit Sana, Aditi Paul are also very good. Amma also enjoys any such music related shows.

The format of the show is , every eposide will witness the removal of a particpant who has got the least numebr of votes. This week Vishal Kothari had to leave. Surprisngly he's damn decent as a singer. But well, one can never guess the public mood as a whole. Suddenly I see another contestant with moist eyes. Turns out that both of them are very good friends, joined Indian Idol together. It must have been tough for him to see his buddy being kicked out.

This scene took me back some 2.5 years ago when me and one of my very good friend were busy pursuing various colleges for a particular degree course. We badly wanted to get admission in one particular college and wanted to be in the same college together. Both of us sailed through our entrance, GDs and PI and were awaiting the results at that college. On the result day, I went to college without my friend as she was ill. To my utter dismay, I realised that I had got through and she hadn't and I had to call her up and tell her the bad news. I was so confused because I didn't know whther to be happy that I got through or to be sad that my friend didn't. I guess that was one of the toughest thing I have ever done. I broke down while telling her the news on phone. It all seems so silly and trivial now. But at that time it didn't. We both had wanted to do the course together, wanted to be in the same college, TOGETHER! and it ain't a nice feeling when dreams crash!

I just remembered the incident when I saw the other participant with moist eyes trying hard to control himself. But well, its tough controlling emotions at times. While on this end, my eyes moistened too.

Some memories are funny. You never know when you will have a rendevous with them.

Help needed!

2004-12-23T13:40:00.000+05:30

Ok...I need a small favour from you guys. Do you guys know anyone who is currently pursuing MA in International Relations from Jawaharlal University, Delhi? If yes, please drop in a mail. My contact can be found in th sidebar of my blog.

Also, blogger is giving me a small problem. My dashboard and my profile shows that I have posted 119 entries till date. But this number has been static for quite a while now. It refuses to register any number of new entries that I have posted. Could anyone tell me why? Also, how to sort this problem?

Down but NOT out!

2004-12-21T23:21:00.000+05:30

I am a member of an informal group called Indo-Pak Youth Forum for Peace. This group came into existence after the interactions between Indian and Pakistani delegates during the World Social Forum. Ours is a group which works towards the people to people interactions between the two countries. Well, we were anticipating the arrival of 20 Pakistani youths to India by 25th of December. They were to come to India and visit, Delhi, Pune and Mumbai in that order. We had an elaborate schedule prepared for them for their stay and other programmes including cultural stuff, sight seeing, interactions between the students of Mumbai etc. But as luck would have it, the Pakistanis couldn't get the visa and now their whole trip stands cancelled. But we plan to go ahead with an interaction programme we had planend with the students of Mumbai. This is a symbolic gesture just to show that we inspite of their absense, the message of peace would be sent.

It is very disheartening especially after the amount of time we have put in for meetings, discussions etc. detailing every single thing of their trip and stay in Mumbai. But this is the reality of the Indo-Pak relations. Whenever there has been a talk about Indo-Pak relations, I have always never been really affected by it. But this time it is different. We have actually had the chance to witness the visa problems the citizens of both the countries face in order to visit their friends and relatives. The problems or well, exagerrated problems, are so trivial that one wouldn't encounter of such things if one is travelling to some another country. But well....life goes on and we expect them in India real soon. Such increasing animosity just doesn't make sense any more and such events just make me wonder what GOOD RELATIONS are we talking about?

Kiddos

2004-12-20T22:53:00.000+05:30

Just yesterday I had been to my guru's place who teaches me music. My guru has a 5 year old daughter Lavanya who is extremely adorable. She's very chatty and well, we kinda bond very well. When I entered the house, I saw that she had worn something which resembled like a frock but was way too long for her so much so that it touched her toes. Before I could open my mouth to ask her about what she was wearing, she came rushing to me and said, "Shobha, see my dress, it's just like my mumma's nighty. Also I can tuck it in like this, see, see! (...and she began tucking her *whatever she had worn* in a way mom's usaully do when they work in the kitchen). You know Shobha, if I wear this na, i can be like mumma you know!" and then she went around prancing merrily around the house.

I could see that she adored her mother completely. She's in one of that phases wherein she wants to be like her mumma in every small way. I remember, when i was a kiddo, Appa was my HERO. I was fascinated by him. I used to imitate Appa in every possible way. i thought it was fashionable to loose temper like Appa did when hew as angry, so even I used to be pretend pretend angry :P I used to fascinated by believe it or not, Appa shaving his beard! Ok, don't laugh, but I was. Appa has always been deodrant-perfume freak. So I used to make a point to have deos and perfumes sprayed on my school uniforms , hehehehee! I learnt to tie my shoe laces by watching appa tie his shoe laces as I thought,nobody could tie it better. ROFLLL! I mean they seem so funny now but at that point of time nothing was more important than aping Appa. Also I used to envy Amma's wardrobe, I wanted all her sarees.

I guess it is just one of those cute kiddo phases which you soon overgrow. Somethings just don't change na! {Thank god, it doesn't :)}

Sigh!

2004-12-16T01:15:00.000+05:30

Oh, well, sometimes I feel why the hell I am on the side of ethics always? I mean.WHY WHY WHY!

Mid-day THE TABLOID of Mumbai goes ahead and prints pictures of Kareena Kapoor and Shahid Kapoor, kissing in a discotheque on the front page. Well its a common knowledge that they are seing each other. I know Tabloids are meant to sensationalise every possible thing udner the sun. I just wonder what purpose do these pictures serve? I mean they have zilch news value. Apart from grabbing eye balls and increase readership, the pics do nothing more. Mid-day does not depend a lot on subscription as its sales are more dependent on the amount of copies it sells from the stands, So I understand the sensationalism bit. But the the pics are vulgar and Mid-day is obviously promoting soft-porn in its front page.

What I fail to realise is that what is so newsworthy about what they were doing? It is just a natural act. Just b'coz they are celebrities, I don't understand how Kissing makes news? (I THINK I NEED A NEW LECTURE ON THAT!)

In India, if you might have noticed, sleazy details of politicians are usually avoided. Vir Sanghvi in his recent column had talked about rhe same fact that a politician's private life is nobody's business unless and until it affects the electorate as a whole. Why can't the media leave the celebrities alone? I hope the paparaazi culture doesn't permeate here. (I know, I know, all wishful thinking....!!!)

And why the hell are both the Kapoors denying the whole thing? Its but obvious that the ones in the pictures are the kapoors only. By saying that you are from a respectable family to indulge in *SUCH* deeds only reeks of hypocrisy. What harm in accepting it? Accept the fact and fight the case in the court on the basis of GROSS VIOLATION OF PRIVACY. I know they are popular actors of India and Indian society is not all that liberal and is conservative, but by denying it, they are only giving the paper an upperhand.

Such stories just make me wonder if I would ever be journalist int he truer sense of the term? Compromising on ethics isn't what I exactly want to do. I also wonder if it would be easy to stand in what you believe for and still survive? I don't know. It is scary for me as journalism was all that I have always wanted to do. I would be shattered to say the least if something on the contrary happens :(

P.S. I know, I have been irregular with comments for the past few posts as I have been very busy. I will reply to them soon :)

BJP flip flops

2004-12-13T01:11:00.000+05:30

Something very funny is happening within BJP. Earlier it was Uma Bharti who publicly raised uncomfortable questions in total media glare and today it is Smriti Irani who takes the charge.

Today by afternoon TV channels showed Smriti Irani's outburst..err....Can't really call it outburst, it was more of a well thought out statement actually which she made, demanding Gujarat CM Narendra Modi's ouster/resignation. She stated that BJP's image as a national party and Atal Bihari Vajpayee's image has taken a beating owing to the fact that Narendra Modi didn't resign when he was supposed to, didn't fulfill his moral obligations so as to speak. She wanted to make sure that the blot in Vajpayee's image as a PM of India which was tarnished because of Narendra Modi not resigning when the situaion demanded that.

It's amusing that she is raising the issue now after so many days. What was she doing when Vajpayee publicly said Gujarat was a mistake and that Narendra Modi should have gone out? Its weird, very weird. Why does she have to make a publicity stunt like this? Doesn't she get like tons of publicity as Tulsi? Weird Weird Weird! This is a classic case of instigation I feel or may be some personal motive.

Then came another twist when she took back all that she said. It was very funny when the channels aired the assertive Irani voicing her "concerns" and a glum, sullen faced Irani taking back her statement. It was as if a child was made to say, I am sorry, I wouldn't do this again in front of the whole school assembly. She didn't even look at the camera and read the whole statement out. I am curious to know "Aage kya hoga..." This is going to be fun, lot of fun. Ha ha!

Tubelight thought of the day: Ambition and Laziness make a sad sad combo. and yea...I hate MONDAYS!!!!

M S

2004-12-12T11:23:00.000+05:30

M S Subbulakshmi passed away yesterday. To say this is a sad news would be an understatement. Especially for someone who wakes up every morning to her Suprabhatam. She died at the age of 88, well its good she didn't suffer too much. M S you would always and always be remembered.

Dear God!

2004-12-10T23:41:00.000+05:30

Dear God,

Have I ever told you that I absolutely LOVE YOU? muah

Sunday

2004-12-05T22:16:00.000+05:30

I don't know why my Sundays get over so soon......:( We students in India know nothing what a weekend means like as most of the times we have our colleges working full day on Saturdays (save the engineering colleges) So all, that we get is ONE SUNDAY! Not Fair, not fair at all!!!!!! One day is just not enough to relax or well Sunday should have 48 hours!

Sometimes I wonder about the whole hooplah about a Sunday and Monday Morning blues etc. A day by any other name would be just the same. What if we all had a thrusday off other than a Sunday? Yea, then we would probably have Jolly Wednesdays and the works....But well, My lament remains.....MY SUNDAY IS ALMOST OVER.....:((

R K Naryan describes the Sunday groove in a perfect way in his essay, Next Sunday. (Incidentally for all the Mumbaiites, you can read the essay in the Sunday Mid-day today.

"Sunday is the day most looked forward to by everyone. it is one day which suddenly eveporates before you knowwhere you are. Everyone knows the Saturday-evening feeling already tainted by the thoughts of Monday. what happens to the day? It is the day on which so many items are thrust-promises made of a little shopping, calling on someoneand so on and so forth, all promises, promises. there is no way out except by streching the twenty four hours to do the work of forty-eight. before one notices the forenoon is gone" .......

Aaaah, I love RK Narayan...

Sigh...My Sunday's gone! Damn! TOMORROW IS A SUPER SAD MONDAY.....DOUBLE DAMN! huh :( and the fact that I have to wake up early for a lecture that makes me even more sleepy doesn't really help.....:(

P.S. WHY DOESN'T YAHOOMAIL HAVE A SIGNOUT/LOGOUT LINK? Could any of the techie readers enlighten me please?

Religion

2004-12-03T22:10:00.000+05:30

I remember when I was in my first year, my sociology professor had posed a question to our class--->"Why is religion so important to people?" (or something very similar to that) I remember that my answer was prompt---->"Religion forms one of the most important part of a person's identity." My Prof was happy with my answer as this was the reply that she was looking for. But I was very amused with my profesor's happy reaction because I thought I hadn't said anything new. I completely believed in what I said at that point of time because personally I identified being a HINDU (obvious!) and that BEING A HINDU WAS A PART OF MY IDENTITY. I was never conscious of the fact but I thought it was the most natural thing and that everybody thought the same. But to my surprise I found not many people thought on similar lines.

I don't know whether today, 2.5 yrs hence I would say the same thing. I mean I am not sure whether being a Hindu forms a huge part of my identity as it did earlier. I am not negating the influence of relegion in any way.....NOT AT ALL, its just that I now question more and refuse to accept what is status quo.

I find this very funny. Religion is something which we inherit from our parents. We are HINDUS because our parents were HINDUS and this applies to any relegion for that matter. We seriously don't have a choice in that matter. Of course one has full freedom to change his/her relegion when we major, but well...that's only when IF THE PERSON WANTS TO! Don't you think its so funny that RELiGION which is inherited, something which you did not make a choice, forms a part of one's IDENTITY? It becomes such a fundamental part of ones life, governs our life to such a large extent.....but it is something which we never consciously thought about, or basically never really sat and exercised our right to choose (coz there was never any right to choose as such when you are a kid.) It's weird.....Therefore the attitude of relegious fanatics amuses me to a great extent....I hope I have conveyed what I want to say....

Whenever any changes are recommended for the better in any relegion, it is opposed tooth and nail. I don't understand why.....I can quote one example.... vedas are the prerogative of only BRAHMIN MEN. Women and NON-Brahmin men are NOT ALLOWED to learn VEDAS. Even our Shankaracharya refused to accept the changes stating that every relegion has its own set of discrimination and that we have to learn to accept and live with that. I disagree, I completely disagree. WHY can't women or any non-Brahmin people learn Vedas? Is Vedas a prerogative only of Brahmin Men? I know many uncles who are staunchly against the idea of WOMEN learning Vedas. "Its a sacrilege" they claim. DOHHH! "Some things can't be changed. Our ancestors might have had some thing in mind before formulating such rules." DOHHHHHH again. This is the justification that they have for all the discriminatory practises. The irony is that they don't have a justification at all....HERD MENTALITY being a mantra. Just because its been the tradition, we ought not to break it. DOHHHHHHH! There are many such discriminatory practises followed till date.....and well...WE ARE IN 21ST CENTURY.....huh! I am not singling out Hinduism for such discriminatory practises, there are other relegions too. However being a Hindu myself, I prefer tot alk about Hinduism or may be a miniscule part of it.

Note: It's just not my intention to hurt anybody's religious sentiments. These are just some of the questions that I have raised and I don't think so I have demeaned the religion in any manner. If someone thinks likewise.....too bad! Constructive comments, criticisms are most welcome!

2004-12-01T22:54:00.000+05:30

Today is World Aids Day.

Overheard this at my college campus today....

Dumbfuck 1: Happy AIDS DAY!

Dumbfuck 2: SAME TO YOU!

SOME ONE SHOOT ME!!!!!!!

Control freakin

2004-11-30T09:29:00.000+05:30

WOW, its so much fun being in CONTROL. Umm....I envy CONTROL FREAKS. What fun, control your life, control some other lives, play around with them, manipulate and then sit back and have fun...WHOA! Its like directing a play, film....only you directing characters for real! HA!

God would be the biggest control freak I know. Hmmmm......It would be nice playing God I think....

P.S. This post was written when the blogger was in an absolute demented state of mind!

Life...

2004-11-28T20:42:00.000+05:30

Life is so much more easier when we accept some hard facts of life.
Life is more easier when we try not to change things which we have no control over at all.

Karthigai

2004-11-26T13:17:00.000+05:30

Today is Karthigai. Another festival of lights, Aren't we southies lucky? :D Well, for all who are wondering what karthigai is, Karthigai is a festival whioch we celebrate. This day denotes the occurrence of the Karthigai Nakshatram every month, as per the Tamil Calendar. Karthigai Deepam falls in the Tamil month of Karthigai when the star Krithigai is on the ascendant and usually occurs on a full moon day. This festival is also called as "the Festival of Lights". This festival is also considered as the extension of the Deepavali festival. In some houses, they double the number of lamps every day from the day of Deepavali and this way, they end up with a number of lamps on the day of Karthigai Deepam. On this day, people clean their houses and draw 'Kolams' (Rangoli) in front of the house and also place some lamps on it.

Dayan's pic, taken at a temple

Lakku's pic of her house! :D

(Thanks Lakku and Dayan)

To know more go here...

Also Karthigai is also a tamil equivalent of Raksha Bandhan except that there is no typing of rakhis involved. Sisters pray for the brothers and brothers make it a point to send gifts to their sisters (So all you guys, have you given gifts to your sisters?)

Amma has made vella pori, Nai appam, Payasam etc...I wanna have them but she says i can have it only after Naivediyam. Huh! Like everyone, I have always been tempted by all the delicious stuff Amma used to prepare in the event of any festival. How ever mouth watering it maybe, I was only given after the naivediyam was done. When I asked amma, why I was not given the sweets, I remember Amma had told me once that God comes and eats a portion of food when we do the naivediyam. So we cannot eat before that. I used to sincerely believe it and used to wait in anticipation for the naivediyam tog et over and would never touch the sweets before that. Its all symbolic, but its amazing how somethings are followed to the "T". Amma is busy making the yummy poris and I so wanna eat it.....but well, I will have to wait till the evening....*sigh*
Somethings don't change at all!

Happy Karthigai everybody :D Have fun eating sweets and if you aren't a southie, drop in at the nearest tam bram friend's place, am sure you will get yummy food to eat! :D

P.S.: All you non blogspot users can also use the new blogging commenting system now! :D Its cool and easy!

New , modified blogger commenting system!

2004-11-25T09:58:00.000+05:30

Yayyy! I have installed the new and modified commenting system of blogger. Check it out, its damn cool! All courtesy, Bloggerhacks

Procrastination

2004-11-22T23:01:00.000+05:30

Discovery of the day:

"Procrastination is more tempting than Chocolate fudge and if I may add more addictive than nicotine!"

Words

2004-11-22T17:50:00.000+05:30

It is said that "ACTION SPEAKS LOUDER THAN WORDS."
However, sometimes, WORDS are important.

Sometimes some WORDS need to be told
Sometimes some WORDS need to be heard
Sometimes some WORDS need to be felt, need to be experienced
Sometimes WORDS make all the difference.....

Prejudice and Bias

2004-11-17T23:38:00.000+05:30

"You would sure be a member of some schedule tribe!" {mocking tone}

"I might be from a schedule tribe but you surely look like one." {Very Angry and a defiant tone}

This was a conversation I overheard today between people who are both upwardly mobile and educated. What stuck me was that CASTE/BACKWARD tribes etc. are still used to MOCK at people and people do consider it condesendingly. It is used and considered as an insult. I think it's sad. I don't blame anybody, the prejudices are ingrained in us for a long time now. So what if we are in 21st century. Old prejudices die hard..........some things just don't seem to change.

Update:
What I actually wanted to portray through this post was the prevalence of age-old prejudices with reference to caste system. I guess after going through the comments, I thought the discussion went a bit off-track as I didn't want to touch upon Reservations. But I guess one tends to associate Reservations on hearing the very word, SC/ST. RESERVATION is a different point of debate altogether. But well, I think we really can't divorce the two terms now.

Fountainhead

2004-11-17T22:48:00.000+05:30

Never has any book drained me emotionally so much like Fountainhead has and all that I have finished reading is 200 pages. I have 400-odd more pages to go.....SHIT! But I'm sure this is one book I'm gonna read again, again and again.......

I, Me and Media!

Slutwalking in India and the besharmi of it all...

Is it possible to be proud of one's Brahmin roots?

An open letter to Rajan Welukar

Should writing be a task to finish?

What's in a name? Lots says Bombay High Court

WTF!

Meena Mami-2

Open letter to Mumbai top-cop Jadhav

Bhutto killed!!!!

Harry Potter

Goodbye

Bangalore, Home and other musings

Second hand books

Why the world hates America?

A day when I was almost attacked...

Men Bahadur

It's all about money, honey!

Hello from Bangalore!

Damn

Haathi mere Saathi?

Caste communities on Orkut

9/11

Blast Mania and a Thank you

Freaky coincidences

Reminder to myself

Bloggie Birthday

Being judgemental

Rains n me

An interesting read....

Wanted HELP

Reservations

Why

Buhaha

Damn

Random musings

Response to the Tribute FWD

My story---Blank Noise Project

Danish cartoons controversy

R K Narayan

On our way to "No more Satyendra Dubeys" Road

Mumbra

Rang de Basanti

Republic Day

I wonder about life....

Patriarchy

Remembering 2005....

Satyendra Dubey- Part II

:(

Expectations

Doubts

Hey Hey hey

Reality shows

Question

Irritated

Havoc

Sweetmeet

Reporter's diary--Part 2

Reporter's diary

*Important Disclaimer*: Names, locations used above are changed.

2nd B'day, Mumbai bloggers meet and a Big Hello!

HAPPY BLOGGIE B'DAY

Here's presenting...

Mumbai Bloggers meet on 25th June, 2005 @ (cafe coffee day or Barista)Bandstand, Bandra!

hey!

Here I am...

Oh my!

. . . .

Radio

Conscience Call

Happy Holi

Wow

Finally error rectified

CRAP CONTINUES

CRAP

Train tales

Happy Birthday!

Happy birthday ASHWIN

Musings, Black, etc...

YIIPEEEEEEEEEE!

Important Disclaimer: Names, locations used above are changed.

Have I ever told you that I absolutely LOVE YOU? muah